Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
What gives you your sense of self worth
lighter:
Hi Tupp:
I've written this post three times.......
Trust yourself.
Pay attention to your instincts.
Honor them.
Remember 90% research and 10% execution. You have a right to explore choices without committing to anything. Reserve judgment, and really ask yourself what feels right.
Take your time, and try lots of things. Pick and choose. Show people who you are, and strive to be authentic. You're OK just as you are, and people want you to do well. They want you to be OK.
Fear sucks.
You're more than worthy of a good life.
Remember..... you make choices every day, and every day is a new day.
::sending Tupp energy, intestinal fortitude, and the courage to explore open and walk through new doors::
You're good enough Tupp.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Thank you, Lighter, for your wise and encouraging words, as always.
My son's health has taken a real nose dive and we are having dreadful problems with doctors (again) and I can really feel the effects on my own health now. It's funny that the times when you need to take the most care of yourself are also the times when you have the least time and energy to do so. But I am really trying to make a concerted effort to eat well, rest, do some yoga and meditate when I can. It's very easy for good habits to go out of the window when the chips are down (and isn't it funny how bad habits always seem to feel easier to stick to?) but I'm trying hard and trying to focus on health and not think/worry too much about anything else at the moment.
We are settling into the flat now, and it's starting to feel like home. People are friendly and it is lovely being able to go for a little walk and pop into the shops if we want to. It's starting to feel more normal that we live here and I do really love it (and at least my son's health takes my mind off my own anxieties for a while, lol). Baby steps, we're slowly getting there, I must say I will be glad when Christmas is over as I do find that really stressful even though we avoid it as much as possible. The whole country just goes mad so it's nice when it's over and everything goes back to normal :)
Hopalong:
I am so sorry about your boy, Tupp.
I can't imagine how much this tears at you, over and over.
Poor kid, and poor you.
My best recollection is that he's both on the autism spectrum
somewhere and also has a seizure disorder plus a fairly rare
additional diagnosis. (Forgive me if I'm remembering those
wrong.) But my point is my heart goes out to any parent
who is trying to make life work for a child with any ONE
of those things, much less a constellation...and much less
as a single parent with toxic relatives.
Now, at least, you're at a safe distance from those relatives.
And you have learned so much about how to advocate for
yourself and your son. To hear how you're trying consistently
to maintain self-care in spite of the stress of all this is inspiring.
Tupp, while you're no longer a victim, you ARE a hero.
Just in the daily slog you endure with such good grace.
I think to myself when I am eyebrow-deep in my pity
parties...look what Tupp and others here cope with and get
through every daggone day.
Thanks for sharing so much of your struggles and surprises
here, Tupp. You inspire and encourage me, and you always
have thoughtful and kind words for folks here, no matter
what you're going through yourself.
(I'm with you about Christmas...happy to not-celebrate it
along with you!).
Hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
Yay, let's do a"it's not Christmas, everyone get lost" day instead! I'm not religious (no disrespect to anyone who is) and for me the religious meaning of it has been lost in a mass of consumer madness. It's just so huge and so over the top and you can't escape it. If it was only celebrated by in the UK by Christians (instead of millions of people who never go to church and don't believe in God) or it was a small day of celebration I would embrace it but it's just so over the top it drives me insane!
You have remembered exactly my boy's situation, autism, epilepsy, learning difficulties (or intellectual disability as they call it now) and possibly a genetic disorder although that hasn't been confirmed yet. He's fitting for up to twelve hours at a time and it's proving almost impossible to get him any long term or preventative help so we have to keep calling the emergency service or going to A & E. The service they provide is brilliant; we had an ambulance crew out this morning and they are first class, nothing at all to fault them on, but obviously dealing with everything as an emergency instead of having a proper long term management plan in place is stressful for everybody. I have got a meeting with the consultant next month so I've emailed him all of my concerns and will have to go in and just be very assertive which I hate because of all the old child protection stuff (in which they used my assertion and tendency to complain about poor service as evidence against me) bubbles back up to the surface and it's just another thing to deal with (as you know only too well!).
We are in a much better place than so many, though, and a much better place than we were a month ago living in that house that I was so miserable in! Thank you for your kind words, that is what I love about this place, that it's so supportive and each other's stories help in different ways, it's a really good place to be :)
Anyway lets hope that all of our 'challenges' get a little bit smoother over the next few weeks (and Christmas will be over soon - yay!).
Love Tup xx
lighter:
Tupp... "fitting" for 12 hours means he's seizing or having an emotional outburst you can't handle on your own?
I'm so sorry to hear that, but glad you feel emergency services are helpful.
Good luck advocating for yourself and your son next month. Remember to speak with calm authority, keep your tone neutral, and snark free, and stick to your guns.
They can't say you're being unreasonable/whatever if you remain even, and keep your voice and words level, IME. Record it if you feel you must.... better proactive in these matters, IME. Regret sucks SO much. I'm sure you have a list of things to address. Maybe sort it out with things you can't live without, and things you can. Don't leave without the must haves.
Also have some reminder you can touch, like a bracelet that helps you get back to level if you find yourself raising your voice, or getting angry. We're more formidable when we stay on point with facts.... when we're the most level person in the room, IME.
You're Mama Bear Tupp, and you'll fight for the best possible outcome for your son. That's what you do.
((((Tupp and son))))
I'm glad you're settling in.
Lighter
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version