Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
What gives you your sense of self worth
Hopalong:
This is a candle for the heart, Tupp.
SO happy about your garden, and you being so present in it.
I'm getting more present, too, or more focused. Bit of both.
Actually meditated for about 10 minutes this morning. If one
can sneak sips of tea while meditating. Ha.
Thing is, it was fine. I don't have to do it "right."
Hope the settling in is joyful and as low-stress as possible.
Love the idea of more education for you and your boy!
High hopes,
Hops
sKePTiKal:
Hi Tupps! Merry Christmas!** ;)
I'm just catching up with your move news, after mine. It sounds like we're both going through some of the same "exploration" in our new places. I'm a little envious of your ability to walk to shops and having pleasant people right around you. It sounds lovely... and comforting, to know so many are there welcoming you to become one of their community. It's just me and the cat -- and at night I can hear the coyotes. I can't even see my neighbors down the road.
I can relate to realizing that a lot of what you brought into the new place - just doesn't belong anymore. I work a little bit each day, to uncover another square foot of floor (usually to only put something else in that spot, from another place where I'm doing the same thing!). Learning the mechanical systems here - in the country there is a lot of "this'll do for now" kinds of fixes that need addressed to be "proper" - is where I've put a chunk of time and attention.
There is no good way for me clear out the empty boxes - no recycling, no pickup at the house (sure, I move a jeep load of broken down, bundled cardboard a mile down my road to the highway where the trash truck picks it up or drive it into town - somewhere)... and open burning is no longer allowed willy-nilly in this state. And I have to change my vehicle registrations and driver's license, which requires all kinds of documentation to prove who I am... even though I am in their database, already, under my marriage #2 name. LOL. For the most part, I'm not letting stuff like that wind me up into a snit. It's just not worth it.
There are definite "stages" one goes through when moving. First, "claiming" the space as your own. Then, just "feeling" the energy of the place. Learning the peculiarities, too - the things that unique to it. And then playing with and adjusting things to "suit yourself" and make the space work for you the way you need it to.
I'm sure I'll be "moving in" still - unpacking even - halfway through next year. Makes me think I really don't NEED a lot of the stuff that I haven't unpacked yet, you know? And I want to find ways to connect with more people around here instead of always being a hermit, but that's going to have to wait till after Christmas.
** I noticed on my trip to the "big town" this week, that people were generally very pleasant, happy, and being "Christmas-y" with each other. Lots of simple kindnesses and pleasantries, even though the stores were crowded with people stocking up for their cooking extravaganza. Instead of feeling like people where going to run me down in the shop aisles -- we were each trying to "give way" to each other and laughing about doing it in almost every aisle. This is NOT what I remember from living in this "big town" years before. Nice change.
lighter:
Tupp:
I love what you said about feeling you're morphing into yourself.
Yes.
The person you were meant to be, and can be.
You're free to stop looking over your shoulder now. The haunting of the old neighborhood can end with new shiny people..... without being in the old emotionally charged places that remind you of the past. Distance is a good thing.... ::nodding::
This is your new start.
New Tupp in the new year with new everything.
As for me I'm having an easier time being present in the moment. I'm not completely there yet, but it's coming along..... getting easier.
I've been working with some amazing people, and it feels really good.
The problem person I wrote about on my thread has stopped calling, thank goodness. It feels like it's over with only a few really tense days of anxiety.... I really hate that.
My oldest is doing well in school, all As, very driven again, and youngest is still very funny and doing well in school as well.
I'm laughing: )
((((Tupp and son)))
I hope you make some new holiday rituals that feel just right for you both.
They don't have to be around Christmas. They can be new traditions around cold weather foods,
and activities. Maybe a little outdoor fire pit with hot coco, roasted marshmallows, and new stew and cookie recipes?
Lighter
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on December 21, 2016, 09:41:48 AM ---This is a candle for the heart, Tupp.
SO happy about your garden, and you being so present in it.
I'm getting more present, too, or more focused. Bit of both.
Actually meditated for about 10 minutes this morning. If one
can sneak sips of tea while meditating. Ha.
Thing is, it was fine. I don't have to do it "right."
Hope the settling in is joyful and as low-stress as possible.
Love the idea of more education for you and your boy!
High hopes,
Hops
--- End quote ---
It's a beautiful garden, Hops, we're so lucky, I did a bit more this morning with the help of next door's very friendly cat who likes to chase leaves :) I'm glad you're meditating in your own way; I've found in the past I've stressed myself out doing relaxation type things because I'm not doing them properly and then realised how daft it is to stress about something that you're doing to calm your mind! Tea and mediation sound perfect, in my book. I do keep thinking about you when I cook because of the thread you started a while back asking for recipe ideas but I've not found any yet that don't require a bit of faffing about. I did buy a new slow cooker book recently, vegan recipes (part of my drive to eat more veggies) but so far the ones I've tried have involved adding things at different times - alright for me as I'm at home a lot during the day but no good if you're going out and won't be back until dinner time! Anyway, I'll keep looking and if I find any that are tasty and simple to prep I will give you a shout :) x
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on December 22, 2016, 08:43:08 AM ---Hi Tupps! Merry Christmas!** ;)
I'm just catching up with your move news, after mine. It sounds like we're both going through some of the same "exploration" in our new places. I'm a little envious of your ability to walk to shops and having pleasant people right around you. It sounds lovely... and comforting, to know so many are there welcoming you to become one of their community. It's just me and the cat -- and at night I can hear the coyotes. I can't even see my neighbors down the road.
I can relate to realizing that a lot of what you brought into the new place - just doesn't belong anymore. I work a little bit each day, to uncover another square foot of floor (usually to only put something else in that spot, from another place where I'm doing the same thing!). Learning the mechanical systems here - in the country there is a lot of "this'll do for now" kinds of fixes that need addressed to be "proper" - is where I've put a chunk of time and attention.
There is no good way for me clear out the empty boxes - no recycling, no pickup at the house (sure, I move a jeep load of broken down, bundled cardboard a mile down my road to the highway where the trash truck picks it up or drive it into town - somewhere)... and open burning is no longer allowed willy-nilly in this state. And I have to change my vehicle registrations and driver's license, which requires all kinds of documentation to prove who I am... even though I am in their database, already, under my marriage #2 name. LOL. For the most part, I'm not letting stuff like that wind me up into a snit. It's just not worth it.
There are definite "stages" one goes through when moving. First, "claiming" the space as your own. Then, just "feeling" the energy of the place. Learning the peculiarities, too - the things that unique to it. And then playing with and adjusting things to "suit yourself" and make the space work for you the way you need it to.
I'm sure I'll be "moving in" still - unpacking even - halfway through next year. Makes me think I really don't NEED a lot of the stuff that I haven't unpacked yet, you know? And I want to find ways to connect with more people around here instead of always being a hermit, but that's going to have to wait till after Christmas.
** I noticed on my trip to the "big town" this week, that people were generally very pleasant, happy, and being "Christmas-y" with each other. Lots of simple kindnesses and pleasantries, even though the stores were crowded with people stocking up for their cooking extravaganza. Instead of feeling like people where going to run me down in the shop aisles -- we were each trying to "give way" to each other and laughing about doing it in almost every aisle. This is NOT what I remember from living in this "big town" years before. Nice change.
--- End quote ---
Merry Christmas, Skep!
It is lovely being able to walk to the shops - there aren't many but it's enough for your day to day basics and we're only ten minutes from town to get other things we need. It makes a big difference. No coyotes but the foxes make quite a lot of noise some nights :)
Yes I agree with everything you've said about the stages! Initially I just bunged things into cupboards and got furniture into rooms so that it was unpacked and done. Now we've been here for a little while and got a feel for the place, as you say, I've started re-arranging things and re-organising the cupboards. As I'm going round I'm making lists of things I'd like to buy or replace. It's made me realise how much I've deprived myself over the years. My wardrobe is full of old clothes that are full of holes. All of my furniture is hand me down or from charity shops, none of it is 'pretty' I've always gone for functional and cheap over pretty and cosy. And I think that needs to change now. I really want to sit back and relax in my own little palace so I've been shopping in my mind for new furniture, carpets, curtains and so on (don't have the cash at the minute to really shop but I've been planning it all out).
It's nice that the people are friendly in your town. It makes such a difference, just a quick smile and hello from someone really makes the day feel better. Glad that you are settling in and have the cat to keep you company! x
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