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Boundaries with N parents

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Ales2:
very interesting article

http://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2016/07/how-to-set-adult-boundaries-with-narcissistic-parents/#

hope all is well here at the board!

JustKathy:
Great article! Thanks for sharing this one.

Twoapenny:
I found no contact was the only way for me to set a boundary.  Any sort of contact or communication became a battle, however brief and whatever the reason for it was.  I genuinely felt I couldn't behave like a human being around my mum and that's no way for anyone to live their life.

JustKathy:
No contact was the only way for me too. I tried to create boundaries by ignoring her victim act and refusing her constant interrogation, but it only angered her more and made her push back harder. When she asked me how much I paid for my house and I wouldn't tell her, she did a records search with the city and got the information. It became too much, so I removed her from my life. She died without ever seeing me again, and I've never felt the slightest bit of remorse. I'm pretty certain that I never will.

Twoapenny:

--- Quote from: JustKathy on August 15, 2016, 03:35:37 PM ---No contact was the only way for me too. I tried to create boundaries by ignoring her victim act and refusing her constant interrogation, but it only angered her more and made her push back harder. When she asked me how much I paid for my house and I wouldn't tell her, she did a records search with the city and got the information. It became too much, so I removed her from my life. She died without ever seeing me again, and I've never felt the slightest bit of remorse. I'm pretty certain that I never will.

--- End quote ---

Yes, same here, Kathy, the more I tried to have a 'normal' relationship with her the angrier (and more dangerous) she got.  My mum's just like that, she'll go to enormous lengths to find out things about me and my son and sees no reason why she shouldn't.  I don't know how I'll feel about her dying - relief, I suspect, but also sadness that she never sorted herself out, perhaps?  It does make me sad when people who could have a nice life ruin it by their actions and then blame everybody else (for being selfish enough not to put up with abuse!) x

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