Tools support group

[Ales2]

Quick observations from my "shadow" inventory about where I get stuck:

1. I'm determined, but my discipline needs work to match up to my goals. (determination is the map, discipline the fuel)

2. I react the "same old way" in a new circumstance, getting the same result, remaining small and not moving forward. (caterpillar syndrome)

3. I used to have a positive response to negative events. Now, I have fallen into a bad habit of having a negative response (overeating, usually on a credit card, overcharging) when things go bad. I need to go back to pre-choosing responses again, i.e when I feel bad or when negative events occur, do good anyway. (emotional override)

4. I have a deep self doubt, negativity, underachieving, smallness, ambivalence, mistrust of others. (my shadow)

5. I'm aware I need to change my perspective on some negativity. Instead of "alot of people are JERKS", I need to acknowledge "I can handle JERKS".  I can be more trusting (mostly of my abilities now with others), assertive, positive instead of feeling people/the world can't be trusted and I have to remain cynical, critical and overly judgemental, cautious. (reframing negativity)

Anyway, these were the important realizations I got from my work with THE TOOLS book and my group. And, as luck would have it, this week is last week of group, then we are on hiatus for December, and then back in January, which is just what I wanted to do!

[sKePTiKal]

Well, the terminology is still throwing me for a loop a little, but I think I still see that the overall pattern matches up with "what I know". The word "discipline" for instance -- I got "stuck" on that word and the actual "life" meaning of it for a very very long time. All because I go through periods where I'm inundated with LOTS of ideas (ie, distractions) that would pull in directions that used a lot of time.

Once I realized that one meaning of the word was "practice" - a lot of my understanding cleared up.    "Discipline" can mean the practice that derives from a strong inner intention to take an action... at first, one's practice can seem like an uphill struggle - whether one is working physically or mentally or creatively or emotionally. We make a lot of mistakes because we're beginners! Even when we can see the beauty and logic in the practice; the goal -- and feel we have it within us to be master practitioners.

Repetition of practice brings refinement; polish; good habits and routines to the steps involved in taking the "action" that is the fulfillment of the goal.

(I guess I'm translating your "Tools" language, into one I'm more familiar with; don't mind me... just working it out in my head.)

The functional steps you've developed are things I can really relate to. And it's not that difficult to work on these, master them and move on. Just remember, you'll make mistakes (beginner's mind) - forgive those - and try again: ie, PRACTICE. Don't let anyone's judgement - including your own - stop you from practicing.

[Ales2]

Hi Skeptikal,
The terms in the above list were other/new terms, including a couple (emotional override, caterpillar syndrome, discipline, reframing negativity) that were not in THE TOOLS book. Thanks for your comments, I agree with alot of what you said and identified.

Last night was the last session for 2016, and it was a great session, very helpful. We went through all the tools again and I got to ask some questions which was helpful. I sense from her response sometimes that I ask too many questions and maybe its seen as speaking out of turn, but I'm aware that I sense it without her or anyone else saying anything. Otherwise, I think the group was great, and helpful.

[Hopalong]

Ales--
I am SO impressed with you.

Gotta dash.

xo
Hops

[Ales2]

Thanks Hops. 

Not sure what there is to be impressed by... but its my turn now for things to go well!  I'm due!