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What would you do?

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Twoapenny:

--- Quote from: lighter on January 22, 2017, 01:11:54 PM ---Tupp:

I'm relieved you've found a way to make sense of those relationships.

Your post was catalyst for me.  I finally addressed an old friendship..... she used to be my best friend.  The goal was to put it all down in writing, give it a resting place that wasn't shifting and shrouded in doubt..... just tackle it, and have done, once and for all.  I've really missed this friend.   

I can't know the specifics of what happened between us, but I can make peace with not knowing.  There was so much PD FOG at the time, I think we were both blinded..... I don't blame either of us.  The friendship was another loss I'll try to mourn and make peace with. 

While finishing the letter, not a long letter, I noticed that a few things came up.  One was that I would benefit from finally facing the issue, speaking my piece, and laying it down for good. 

The second was that I shouldn't be distracted from taking care of other things that need to be done in present.  I thought about it, considered I might be using the letter as distraction, then remembered how haunted I've been over the last 10 years by this.  It's good and right and time that I deal with it.  The present will be better, bc I have, and that was my measure stick.

Again, on your decisions...... well done, ((Tupp)).

It's hard to make really healthy food interesting isn't it?  When I'm at my best, I'm making different salads consistently with different proteins, nuts and greens and not really paying much attention to it either way.  It's a good thing.

 Man.... I really miss lentils.... I have a sensitivity to lentils, but they were my favorite.  Can you eat them?  If you cook a pot ahead you an eat them all week, hot or cold on salads. 

When I'm not at my best...... food's more of a struggle.  Esp when feeding teens... really they're young adults now.  I guess I have to make peace with having educated them about food, and giving them what they need to make informed choices for themselves..... let it go.

Lighter

--- End quote ---


Yes I think writing things down and getting them off your chest is such a good thing, whether it's sent or not.  I think writing about it here just sorted it out in my head, funnily enough I've hardly thought about it since and yet for years both of these situations have troubled me.

Healthy eating - it is hard to do consistently (at least it is for me).  Especially when seeing friends as they usually offer biscuits or cakes and my naughty brain says "one's fine" and before I know it I'm back to scoffing.  I've dug out an old book about dealing with stress and fatigue and there are some simple, healthy recipes in that but I have to say they're not terribly inspiring and I look at them and know I wouldn't give them to anyone who was coming round for dinner.  But I do keep trying, I think with me it's just one of those things that will always be a bit up and down.  My diet is pretty healthy on the whole so I don't think the little slips are too damaging (and I do love lentils!) x

Hopalong:
(((((((((((Sea))))))))))) -- I've missed you!
Thank you very much for this insight about a way to spot one particular kind of red flag. I've found it popping into my head every time I think about that friend I've written about here:
--- Quote ---I notice that people who are super friendly and then disappoint have high intensity-low commitment.
--- End quote ---

That was one of those jeez, this boils down a long and convoluted problem of mine (in terms of getting clear on reciprocity and all that) in a FEW words, which I think is an evolutionary marvel. Thanks truly.

xo
Hops

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