On a similar theme, I would like to be able to deal with rejection more easily and not take it to heart if someone doesn't want to be my 'friend'.
I struggle with this one too, and always have.
For me, the friend rejection thing has happened mostly with co-workers. There have been people who I thought were great friends, but when I left the job, they ceased contact with me. I guess it was a matter of "out of sight, out of mind," or they weren't really friends to begin with. I entered the workplace at a very young age, and somehow assumed that work friends would be friends for life, but the business world can be cruel, and maybe there are just too many people who only remain friendly with those they can network with. Still, this rejection sticks with me for years.
Now, decades later, I'm now finding some of these people on Facebook. Several not only remembered me, but we've become good friends again. I should be over the moon about that. Instead, I'm hurt by the ones I've found who reject my FB friend requests. Why do I take this to heart when I just should not care? I think it comes back to that desperate need for acceptance. A "normal" person may have a better perspective on it, but we were raised in environments where we struggled every day for the acceptance of the people who should have given it unconditionally ... our parents. When you're raised like that, any and all rejection is bound to hurt.
I wish I knew how to shrug it off and say, "Well, screw you, I don't need your friendship," but I don't. Tup, I think you're dead right that it's all about self-esteem, and that's a tough one for N daughters to rise above. I'd be willing to bet we ALL suffer from some level of low self-esteem. I don't know that we can ever completely shake that one. There are certainly things we can do (therapy, etc), and we can certainly
gain some self-esteem, but not too sure that we will ever have the kind of confidence that other women have. I don't know, maybe all women, from all walks of life, have self-esteem issues. We just need to work on it a little harder than they do.
I think we need to be more proactive and be the ones to do the the rejecting. Rather than chasing after people in the hopes of rekindling a friendship, cast them off
before we get hurt. I know that's so much easier said than done, but it's a goal that we can work toward.