Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
How Do You Manage Your Stress?
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on May 06, 2017, 09:22:39 AM ---Tee HEE.
Yes, periods as punctuation marks, not bloody periods.
Oh that's funny.
But, yes.
Try it as full stops.
(I'm suggesting it as a small way to experience your own voice with more power. Nothing scary, just getting more comfortable with assertive statements, is all...)
Hugs
Hops
--- End quote ---
Thank you, Hops, my mission for today is to try and make statements instead of asking question in my head. I do have a lot of negative thinking and I've noticed that more this last week or so. I do tend to imagine the worst case scenario in a situation - catastrophising, I think it's called (almost put a question mark there but I stopped myself). So I think changing my thoughts is going to be my mission for the time being. Isn't it all blooming hard work?!
In other news - my mum had a meltdown on Facebook last night, on my sister's wall. You can see how drunk she is from the way she's writing and also how utterly fractured and fragmented her mind is. She literally has a conversation with herself, reading meaning that isn't there from other people's (completely innocuous) comments (that aren't directed at her either), taking offence at nothing at all and so on. My sister deals with her as you would a young child, mum, no-one said that, mum, that comment was about something one of the kids did earlier, it was nothing to do with you, mum, that's enough now, you're blowing up things that aren't there. My mum then takes her complaints to her grandson's Facebook page, this poor boy is the centre point for both his grandmother's and his father's issues, goodness knows what it's doing to his mind. She then emails my sister and is full of lament about the past, she's going to send photos so that she can see she wasn't a bad mum, they're always got on so well, she'll just keep away in future as it's obvious she's not wanted. On the surface it's funny as she seems like a drunk person being daft and you know that another person might well regret this the next day and be on the phone saying "sorry, I had too much wine, what was I on about". But it's so sad as that is her mind all the time, being sober this morning won't change it and this will probably drag on for weeks now. Her entire extended family can see it yet still none of them recognise the situation or do anything about it - much like what BettyAnn was talking about with people ignoring abuse.
I do keep out of all of this, just saw it last night as it was all so public, has made me more determined to work hard to keep my mind a healthy place, I don't want to get to a point where I can't see someone else's perception of a situation and realise when I'm being completely out of line x
Hopalong:
Wow. What a sad spectacle, Tupp.
Lord preserve us from Facebooking our lives forever.
I was just thinking of you when I read this column.
It's about a wedding but all the issues Hax explains are about what we've been talking about -- boundaries and assertiveness. Thought you might enjoy. (Let me know if the link doesn't work and I can paste it in a post for you.)
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-why-cant-she-have-the-wedding-she-wants/2017/05/03/f6feec04-2c5e-11e7-a616-d7c8a68c1a66_story.html?utm_term=.7b4234b877b0&wpisrc=nl_hax&wpmm=1
hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on May 07, 2017, 09:28:57 AM ---Wow. What a sad spectacle, Tupp.
Lord preserve us from Facebooking our lives forever.
I was just thinking of you when I read this column.
It's about a wedding but all the issues Hax explains are about what we've been talking about -- boundaries and assertiveness. Thought you might enjoy. (Let me know if the link doesn't work and I can paste it in a post for you.)
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-why-cant-she-have-the-wedding-she-wants/2017/05/03/f6feec04-2c5e-11e7-a616-d7c8a68c1a66_story.html?utm_term=.7b4234b877b0&wpisrc=nl_hax&wpmm=1
hugs
Hops
--- End quote ---
Wow they are real boundary pushers! What a nightmare. Yes, it's exactly that, isn't it, having to know what you want or where your line is drawn and then telling people as well. The thing I have found hard is that setting boundaries has meant people are no longer in my life. I've found it hard when people I have cared about and wanted to have in my life weren't willing to change their behaviour or hear me and preferred not to bother with me anymore. That's been hard. It's also made me wonder if it's me and not them? Because it is weird how you can know dozens of people and they're all the same at some sort of basic level? Very different perhaps outwardly, but deep down on core issues none of them respect or respond to boundaries or they hear them as a criticism or some sort of insult. Isn't that weird?
I have noticed today how negative my thinking is, in pretty much every situation. I hadn't realised it had got that bad. I wasn't like this in the past. So boundaries, positive thinking and self love are top of the agenda, I think. With that in mind, it's time to curl up with the cat for a nap, I think :)
lighter:
Ahhhhh, curling up with a warm kitty, or dog pal. I really enjoy that too.
Light
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on May 08, 2017, 07:23:16 PM ---Ahhhhh, curling up with a warm kitty, or dog pal. I really enjoy that too.
Light
--- End quote ---
I'd like to experience life as our cat every now and again, Lighter, wouldn't it be nice to take a holiday from being human for a while? Mostly sleeping, usually in the most comfortable spots, affection when you want it but alone time when you don't, regular meals, treats every now and again and a nice walk around outside when you feel like it. Cats have very good boundaries, don't they, everything is on their terms. Perhaps we should all aspire to be more like cats.
I have noticed today that I am feeling resentful, mostly of other people having an endlessly good time whilst I am not. I decided to just notice it and not pay too much mind to it. Usually I try and stop 'bad' thoughts or use them as a way to improve myself but today I have decided it is alright to feel resentful and grumpy and I'm just going to let it be.
I'm trying to focus on reducing my stress levels and to get a good balance between getting things done (as lots of outstanding jobs on my to do list - particularly paperwork which is always to do with my son - makes me feel stressed and overwhelmed) and actively trying to reduce stress, through being outside, meditating, yoga, eating well and so on. I have a tendency to overwork to bring my stress levels down, rather than relieving the stress so that I don't feel as concerned about what needs to be done so I'm trying to balance that out. So that's the aim for today, cat- like boundaries and a good enough balance between working and relaxing to manage my stress levels.
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