Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
How Do You Manage Your Stress?
Twoapenny:
Prepare to be amazed :)
Scrolling through Facebook this evening - two 'I'm in distress' posts from people I know - didn't even consider whether or not I ought to offer to help, just scrolled past.
Friend called this afternoon - we had a brief chat but before she could launch into long winded complaint she needed to get off her chest I told her I had to go and get lunch ready as I had things to do this afternoon.
Son went to drama club tonight (which he loved) - lady that runs it told me the other parents sit and wait upstairs but I said I'd planned to go for a walk so off I went without feeling bad about it. Met the other parents briefly when I got back and they seem very nice so next week I plan to go for a shorter walk and then go and chat to them some more - may be the hint of a social life there!
Spent the morning reading and catching up on bits and pieces. Had a nap this afternoon. Now preparing for an early night. I think I might have to make myself a certificate!
lighter:
Well, Tupp......
it's lovely to see you slide into new territory.....
just go,
and be.
Once the angst and churning of NOT doing doing doing for others subsides....
we gain the ability to live in the moment...
there's us not DOING what we NEED to get out of discomfort. There's US doing something else for a change, IME.
The need subsides, and the angst follows suit, or does the angst subside first?
Not sure, but you know I'm doing the Snoopie Dance for'ya my dear!
Make sure you stop, and FEEL this...... thing you've captured for yourself.
Name it.
Celebrate it: D
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Lol, I would love to see the Snoopie dance, Lighter :) Do you know, I'm luxuriating in the feeling of not feeling obliged. I did wonder when I went to bed last night if I'd wake up this morning feeling guilty and rushing off to put things right but no, I woke up early, my son was still asleep so I stayed in bed reading for a while, now he's up and I'm going to do a bit of paperwork before we head out and I don't feel any kind of draw to rescue, advise, intervene or worry about them thinking 'oh she didn't bother to call'. I've got a paperwork mountain to deal with, a van to restore, a flat to decorate and furnish, a beautiful garden to work on, a book to write and a million other things that I want to see and do, all of which, right now, feel more important than sorting out other people's stuff for them. I started to wonder if I would become selfish and cynical and be the sort of person that won't put themselves out for a minute, and then I thought, do you know what, for forty four years I haven't put myself first even one time, so if I never do another thing for another person I think I've already done enough. And I feel quite energised and invigorated about it :)
Hopalong:
Read a funny-stunny quote this morning:
When you stop pleasing people, people are not pleased.
Pithy perfection.
:)
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on May 11, 2017, 09:09:42 AM ---Read a funny-stunny quote this morning:
When you stop pleasing people, people are not pleased.
Pithy perfection.
:)
Hops
--- End quote ---
Hops, that is so, so true, and is why I've often found it difficult. It is very painful to discover people you love only want you in their life if/when it's convenient or helpful to them, and it's one of the reasons I've found putting boundaries in place difficult, as well as saying no and putting myself first. But I have to say that deep seated urge to keep everyone happy seems to have gone and I want to concentrate much more on keeping myself and my son happy (the cat has made herself happy by nicking the fish I'd taken out of the freezer for tea :) ). We all need to be more cat!
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version