Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
How Do You Manage Your Stress?
Twoapenny:
Less of a rant, someone else chimed in with a non racist response which made me feel better, I sometimes feel like I'm the only one (and I hadn't responded because I just can't bear those endless rows about whose opinion is the right one).
Hopalong:
I relate to your rant, Tupp, and the same sickening underbelly erupting on the Internet has taken over life in the U.S., too. It's so sad to lose community when people allow FB to become a default community. And the power social media gives to hate-filled fringes is ghastly. Not to mention triggering for unstable and uninformed people who only need one more crazed click-bait headline or radio rant to pick up that automatic and go murder.
The only way to win that one in the personal realm, I believe, is to stop reading. And deal with the new shape of a life where you miss updates, happy news, ins and outs of others' lives...when they only share them there. But what you may gain is a conscious, intentional circle of people who are no longer lulled into online life as a replacement for engaging with others in the present world.
NB: I consider this board a massive exception, btw!
For me, on balance, choosing to stay off social media has been a price worth paying. I've discovered that ftf connection means more than ever before and I'll work harder than I had to before FB to create it. What's hopeful in my sub-circle is that slowly some others are recognizing it too.
I do find people now who WANT to take a walk together, who WANT to attend a small group of support (in my case, a UU "covenant group") and more intimate relationship, or who WANT to volunteer in ways/places that allow you to connect repeatedly over time until almost by default, you begin to belong to each other.
As a family-less person, I have to fight my urges to isolate all the time. But I know it's essential.
love
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on June 19, 2017, 12:01:00 PM ---I relate to your rant, Tupp, and the same sickening underbelly erupting on the Internet has taken over life in the U.S., too. It's so sad to lose community when people allow FB to become a default community. And the power social media gives to hate-filled fringes is ghastly. Not to mention triggering for unstable and uninformed people who only need one more crazed click-bait headline or radio rant to pick up that automatic and go murder.
The only way to win that one in the personal realm, I believe, is to stop reading. And deal with the new shape of a life where you miss updates, happy news, ins and outs of others' lives...when they only share them there. But what you may gain is a conscious, intentional circle of people who are no longer lulled into online life as a replacement for engaging with others in the present world.
NB: I consider this board a massive exception, btw!
For me, on balance, choosing to stay off social media has been a price worth paying. I've discovered that ftf connection means more than ever before and I'll work harder than I had to before FB to create it. What's hopeful in my sub-circle is that slowly some others are recognizing it too.
I do find people now who WANT to take a walk together, who WANT to attend a small group of support (in my case, a UU "covenant group") and more intimate relationship, or who WANT to volunteer in ways/places that allow you to connect repeatedly over time until almost by default, you begin to belong to each other.
As a family-less person, I have to fight my urges to isolate all the time. But I know it's essential.
love
Hops
--- End quote ---
Yes this board is a massive exception, thank goodness, and I see that you are right about things Hops, gosh, I just find it so frustrating, there is so much horror and pain in the world just through natural disasters and things like famine and disease, I don't understand the need to add to that by people being so hate filled and wanting to cause pain and upset. It also feels to me - and I don't know if you're experiencing a similar thing in the States - that the centre ground is becoming increasingly right wing and that is becoming the new normal. My views, broadly speaking, haven't changed in the last twenty five years or so, whether in relation to equality, human rights, environment and so on. But I find increasingly I'm being labelled 'extreme' and find that other (well known) people who share my views are often written up as 'far left activists', whereas twenty or so years ago pretty much everyone I knew thought more or less the same as I did. I'm not sure what exactly has happened but it's certainly making the world an increasingly unpleasant place for me. So yes, I can see that social media may need to go again. Lol, I feel like I'm in a playground shouting at people to play nice :) xx
lighter:
Tupp:
I identified with your post about protecting your son..... the going overboard, and not quite knowing when it's too much, or just heading off center with it, and not realizing we're off course. Making it a quest we couldn't see or question bc that's what we were living. Not realizing we'd prioritized safety without the ability to question.... face pressed up against the glass, and unable to SEE it, IME.
Remembering my face was pressed against the glass helps me forgive myself, and it explains WHY it happened. You certainly deserve grace, and understanding from yourself. You've been there... done that. You've gained some much needed perspective, just like I have. It takes some distance, and the will to do better. God help us if we desire perfection.... it just slows us down, IME.
Keep giving your son space and chances to grow. You're doing great, (((Tupp.)))
Love,
Lighter
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Twoapenny on June 19, 2017, 02:43:06 PM ---
--- Quote from: Hopalong on June 19, 2017, 12:01:00 PM ---I relate to your rant, Tupp, and the same sickening underbelly erupting on the Internet has taken over life in the U.S., too. It's so sad to lose community when people allow FB to become a default community. And the power social media gives to hate-filled fringes is ghastly. Not to mention triggering for unstable and uninformed people who only need one more crazed click-bait headline or radio rant to pick up that automatic and go murder.
The only way to win that one in the personal realm, I believe, is to stop reading. And deal with the new shape of a life where you miss updates, happy news, ins and outs of others' lives...when they only share them there. But what you may gain is a conscious, intentional circle of people who are no longer lulled into online life as a replacement for engaging with others in the present world.
NB: I consider this board a massive exception, btw!
For me, on balance, choosing to stay off social media has been a price worth paying. I've discovered that ftf connection means more than ever before and I'll work harder than I had to before FB to create it. What's hopeful in my sub-circle is that slowly some others are recognizing it too.
I do find people now who WANT to take a walk together, who WANT to attend a small group of support (in my case, a UU "covenant group") and more intimate relationship, or who WANT to volunteer in ways/places that allow you to connect repeatedly over time until almost by default, you begin to belong to each other.
As a family-less person, I have to fight my urges to isolate all the time. But I know it's essential.
love
Hops
--- End quote ---
Yes this board is a massive exception, thank goodness, and I see that you are right about things Hops, gosh, I just find it so frustrating, there is so much horror and pain in the world just through natural disasters and things like famine and disease, I don't understand the need to add to that by people being so hate filled and wanting to cause pain and upset. It also feels to me - and I don't know if you're experiencing a similar thing in the States - that the centre ground is becoming increasingly right wing and that is becoming the new normal. My views, broadly speaking, haven't changed in the last twenty five years or so, whether in relation to equality, human rights, environment and so on. But I find increasingly I'm being labelled 'extreme' and find that other (well known) people who share my views are often written up as 'far left activists', whereas twenty or so years ago pretty much everyone I knew thought more or less the same as I did. I'm not sure what exactly has happened but it's certainly making the world an increasingly unpleasant place for me. So yes, I can see that social media may need to go again. Lol, I feel like I'm in a playground shouting at people to play nice :) xx
--- End quote ---
Do you know, I just realised this morning that the offensive stuff I read is usually from people I know! One of the reasons Ive used social media is to try to connect more with people who hold similar views to me. The area I live in is very right wing (and very white, middle class, conservative) and most of the people I know are like that so I wanted to try and meet different people, given my circumstances make it difficult to get out and about, and particularly difficult to get far away! With that in mind I have joined a couple of 'hippy' forums over the years, assuming their views would be mostly left wing and fairly open minded but no, that wasn't the case there either. Another sign that I need to move on, move forward, I think. Lots of signs, not quite clear how to go about it, lol.
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