Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
How Do You Manage Your Stress?
lighter:
I'm so glad you shared all that, Hops. Every word of it. Nice to read you're cooking, and what, and who ate it... honest.
::nodding::
I like domestic stuff too.... but..... finding the zone is sometimes difficult.
Sunday I bought lovely Honey Crisp apples, and made pie.... s. One big beautiful pie, and several smaller ones..... all with crumbles on top.
SO.
Good.
My youngest didn't want to help. Usually she makes lovely lattice pie crusts. She was guarding the remainder of her break jealously..... keeping it all to herself.
::shrug::
So I baked for the joy of solo baking. It was comforting, but.... as I told DD16 on our phone call today..... I really miss Easters with her and her sister from simpler days gone by. She understood.... she said it out loud so I didn't have to. She understands too, Hops.
Tomorrow dd16 goes to the Village program again..... I'm so happy for her to have at least 2 more weeks of magic and ritual before she comes home. I wanted her to take the most difficult parts of our story into that part of her program, and so I talked and talked to her today about our history. The things she never knew, and the things she forgot or blocked. We both felt...... like it needed to happen. I wish I could have held her, or comforted her physically. She has an incredible T to help her through it, and another T guiding her through Village. I feel so blessed to have those supports.
Afterwards it felt like a weight came off my shoulders. I had energy to clean one of the freezers, defrosting a chicken for tomorrow night, and processing the remainder of a pork loin for 2 more meals.... one I cooked before picking dd14 up from school. Baby bok choi with sweet onions, garlic and pork.... salty and perfectly spiced. Last night we had salt and pepper pork with extra jalapenos please. Now we love spicy food together.... all three of us.
Tupp..... the idea that you'll be planning special times for yourself.... regularly..... again... brilliant, IMO. That struck me like a lightening bolt, it did.
::nodding::
Yes: )
I love sharing the board with you guys ((((Tupp and Hops)).
Light
Twoapenny:
Yep I love this board as well, a good place to say what you feel or to read what others feel, depending on what suits best :) Feel very lucky to be able to come here :)
The soup sounds lovely, Hops, perhaps the grated knuckle was the winning ingredient? :) Your friend's caring responsibilities - wow. I just couldn't physically manage to do all of that but I think when you're 'in the zone' it just feels normal so people get on with it. To do all that alongside a job as demanding as being a lawyer? And then to lose them all, so tough for her to cope with. She sounds like a good person to know :) And, Lighter, apple pies! Yum yum :)
I've been trying to get back into some sort of routine and get myself moving again but I have noticed that I feel as if my cloak of invisibility is slipping? I don't feel as if I'm hiding as much or such a need to be in control all the time. We went to see a friend yesterday and some other friends were there - usually that freaks me out a little but it felt really easy to chat and see where the afternoon took us. Today I saw the lovely osteopath who put my back into some semblance of order again so it's a little sore from all the manipulation but feels better as well. She's always good to talk to as well, an interesting lady who has a lot of knowledge about all sorts of things (and three mad cats that she always has a funny story about).
And this evening I decided to start posting disability related info on Facebook. I don't usually use it much and when I do it's generally for things that don't attract an opinion but the British Government have called an election and if we don't get the current government out then things for disabled people here will get even worse than they are now. I thought about it and have decided to just post facts, not with a view to trying to sway votes but just to put objective information out there. I've forewarned people so they can switch me off their newsfeed if it isn't the sort of thing they want to read but many reacted positively. I feel like I am speaking up a bit and I've not done that for a very long time. Feels good.
Twoapenny:
I am feeling generally in a good place and have had one or two things pondering through my mind which I thought I would share :)
I do find it difficult to combine 'looking after myself' stuff with 'getting on with what needs to be done'. It does feel difficult to find enough hours in the day to do both. I am trying at the moment to make my days 'work related' (ie, doing things that need to be done rather than things I want to do) and then making the evenings and weekends more about doing craft or pottering about in the garden, or reading, just anything that doesn't feel like work really. But it is difficult to find the time to fit it all in and mentally I do struggle if my To Do list isn't shrinking. Having said that I am quite on top of things at the minute and we're kind of bumbling along quite well so that's good.
I am struggling a bit with the current political climate in the UK. Since people voted to leave the EU there has been a real surge in racist crime and with people saying racist things that, generally speaking, they wouldn't have said before. Now that the election has been called, there is again a lot of unpleasantness towards people with disabilities and I do find it upsetting that so many people prefer to accept what the papers tell them instead of doing a bit of their own research and thinking for themselves a bit more. I'm trying to find that balance between feeling that I'm doing what I can to help 'the cause', as it were, and not driving myself mad in the process.
I am also finding that, as my son is getting closer to his 16th birthday, I am feeling that I want to leap to the rooftops and start shouting about all the awful things people have done to him through his life (mostly family). I feel that we're getting to a place where it's safer to speak because my mum won't be able to manipulate the situation the way she has in the past, and I just wondered if anyone else ever got to a point where they wanted to tell the world? I've always felt quite ashamed of what's happened and what my family are like but I'm finding I'm feeling that less and less.
lighter:
Hi Tupp:
Sometimes I do want to tell...... and then I remember what kind of bears I'd be poking.
Just telling my children the entire story this week has been gut wrenching for me. Any strong desire I have to tell "everyone"..... always subsides.
I understand it though.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Yes, poking bears, and also encountering people who don't care, or who think it was your fault, or that you should just forgive, etc etc. There's the desire - and then the consequence of the desire. I should keep telling that to myself when I want to eat biscuits!
How did the girls do with finding out all that has gone on? Did they know some of it anyway or were they completely in the dark? Hope you're all doing okay, it's a big tale to get out there into the open x
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