My last question is this. Is it posssible that this woman can act out love and a relationship for a year and then really flip out?
No. Narcissists do not
consistently act out of love and compassion for someone else. She always was dysfunctional but just expressed it in more subtle ways. If you think back you will likely see that over the last year there were "red flags" in her behavior, too. She just stopped trying to hide it as well and became more openly irrational and abusive.
Its like she woke up one day and started hating me because people praised me for my comedy and didnt praise her for career....
Well- this could have triggered her feeling rejected and/or worthlessness feelings on her part, which cause N people to begin to act out more obviously. But like I said before- if you were dealing with a narcissist there were always little manipulations going on.
I told her one night that I was proud of her career, and that I dont ever want to feel like we are competing. I told her that I wanted the world to know that the source of my strength came from my relationship.
You can pour out your heart to a narcissist but they will
never hear you. In fact, many times, the more you try to reason, the more sucked in and abused you get. You aren't met with understanding with a narcissist and things never get resolved.
That is why sadly, that you are being given the advice by so many, to leave and don't look back. Most of the time people encourage the working out of relationships but it is a very different thing with people who have certain personality disorders and narcissism is one of them.
Also, I know exactly what you mean about a relationship enhancing us, though we need to be sure to find a good balance of having our own strength independent of others, too.