Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Being happy in the moment
lighter:
Tupp:
Sometimes turning toward, and embracing conflict is almost impossible for me. It's so so hard. I can't imagine what it's like for you after being raised by your mother.
My mother was more indifferent, unable to hear me... probably my sibs also. It's maddening to watch myself struggle to HEAR my oldest dd... we're so different. Sometimes her energy is physically painful. Sometimes it's comforting and soft, which makes the cutting blunt aspects even more frustrating, IME.
Catching up with the T the other day was really good for me.
Chatting with tech support about deck and concrete sealants was helpful too. I'm usually relieved once I reach out and ask for help when I need it. It's just so darned difficult to do, IME.
I noticed that learning to identify, and access resources was a big part of my children's early education. I never heard a whisper about that when I was in school. I had trouble figuring out how to use a dictionary, and no one helped me figure that out.
(((Tupp))) How are things going for you today?
I just peeled a rug off dd's bathroom floor. I'm wondering how much energy, and what chemicals I should involve to solve that problem.... rubber backing bonded with flooring.
I cleaned out gutters and much moss from roof, then found the ends of buried drain pipes in the woods. Pressure washed the drive, and will seal this week if possible. Faucets are dripping, and in need of attention. I can't get the darned thing apart, will have to do more research on YouTube.
I'm researching sealants for my projects, and my father's. I really hate dealing with paperwork STILL, and there's always something to do.
That final thought sent a head to toe adrenaline rush through me. I really hate paperwork. THESE things are distractions I'm taming and dealing with better as I learn how. Finding balance in all areas, all the time, is trickier.
Lighter
Hopalong:
Hey Lighter,
Gentle push here, and with apologies for taking so long to ask.
When I read the list of medical/quasi-medical/remedy/diagnostic treatments you mentioned about your DD, I felt a shock go through me. (I don't often feel that so thought I'd mention it).
Have you read up on Amen clinics? Here is one place to start. Links below the article lead further. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amen_Clinics
Forgive me if this is a big overreach (it might well be!), but when I was asking myself, I wonder what all the non-mainstream medical focus is about, it occurred to me...I wonder if it's because Light felt out of mainstream as a child, and failed by mainstream culture and systems an adult? Mainstream medical culture is not just imperfect but can and has been damaging to individuals. But most of the time and at its best, medicine at respected centers (Mayo, Cleveland, university-affiliated teaching hospitals) is leading edge and life-saving.
Your attraction to anti-mainstream healing is so understandable. But sometimes worrisome to my ears because it seems unusually intense. Passing it on to the kids, etc. (I have a particular interest in how parents cope with the fire hose of medical info available, because of my career. Sorting positive from promotional is hard. Then again, "to my ears" really means...I have my own bias and this tripped it.)
I would just offer that if you find alarms about or serious criticisms of a methodology or practitioner in multiple places, consider that it is worth honoring not just the knowledge of a well-marketed "different" or "special" expert you're drawn to, but also (in the aggregate) the knowledge of those who've raised the alarm.
love
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on August 28, 2017, 01:06:00 PM ---Tupp:
Sometimes turning toward, and embracing conflict is almost impossible for me. It's so so hard. I can't imagine what it's like for you after being raised by your mother.
My mother was more indifferent, unable to hear me... probably my sibs also. It's maddening to watch myself struggle to HEAR my oldest dd... we're so different. Sometimes her energy is physically painful. Sometimes it's comforting and soft, which makes the cutting blunt aspects even more frustrating, IME.
Catching up with the T the other day was really good for me.
Chatting with tech support about deck and concrete sealants was helpful too. I'm usually relieved once I reach out and ask for help when I need it. It's just so darned difficult to do, IME.
I noticed that learning to identify, and access resources was a big part of my children's early education. I never heard a whisper about that when I was in school. I had trouble figuring out how to use a dictionary, and no one helped me figure that out.
(((Tupp))) How are things going for you today?
I just peeled a rug off dd's bathroom floor. I'm wondering how much energy, and what chemicals I should involve to solve that problem.... rubber backing bonded with flooring.
I cleaned out gutters and much moss from roof, then found the ends of buried drain pipes in the woods. Pressure washed the drive, and will seal this week if possible. Faucets are dripping, and in need of attention. I can't get the darned thing apart, will have to do more research on YouTube.
I'm researching sealants for my projects, and my father's. I really hate dealing with paperwork STILL, and there's always something to do.
That final thought sent a head to toe adrenaline rush through me. I really hate paperwork. THESE things are distractions I'm taming and dealing with better as I learn how. Finding balance in all areas, all the time, is trickier.
Lighter
--- End quote ---
I can identify so much with hating the paperwork, Lighter! When I look at all the files on my shelves and the boxes of 'evidence' I have held onto, just in case, and the endless lists of documents on my computer, I am fully aware that it represents more work than I did for my degree and my teaching qualifications combined. That was hard work and a lot of paperwork for something positive and constructive. The stuff I have at home represents abuse, domination, inequality, thousands of hours of slogging away through to the early hours of the morning trying to prove I didn't do what she said, trying desperately to get someone to figure out why my son wasn't developing and alongside that trying to work out all the medical problems on my own and figure out the best way to educate him. It represents so much negativity that even a small amount now drives me off a cliff and I'm sure it must be the same for you. I get it. And it makes sense now that avoiding conflict is important - look at how much conflict you were forced into and how long and drawn out that battle was. No wonder we want a quiet life and lots of peace and harmony :)
Hopalong:
I hear you both.
What I went through with my brother was MINISCULE compared to what you each have been through. Yet I still avoid the room where the leftover papers from the court battle are stored in tidy boxes.
Boxes can't bite. But on some level, I'm not entirely convinced.
And Lighter, my apologies for hijacking a thread about Being Happy in the Moment with an opinion piece about medicine! (Should've popped that on your Resistance thread but didn't focus. Happy to move or remove it if you'd like, just say.)
love to you both,
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on August 30, 2017, 04:11:49 PM ---I hear you both.
What I went through with my brother was MINISCULE compared to what you each have been through. Yet I still avoid the room where the leftover papers from the court battle are stored in tidy boxes.
Boxes can't bite. But on some level, I'm not entirely convinced.
And Lighter, my apologies for hijacking a thread about Being Happy in the Moment with an opinion piece about medicine! (Should've popped that on your Resistance thread but didn't focus. Happy to move or remove it if you'd like, just say.)
love to you both,
Hops
--- End quote ---
It's mad that paper can be so scary! But battles seem to be fought on paper these days, instead of in arenas as they once were :) x
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