Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
This and That
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on April 02, 2018, 11:15:55 PM ---Lordy, I was a little shocky when I wrote that post, guys. I'm calmer, but worried my freight and container won't go tomorrow, bc of some missing invoices..... I think Amazon puts them inside the boxes? I feel my heart will actually explode if it doesn't go this week. Hard to breathe thinking about it.
About perfection.....
I'm just hoping for movement forward.
Anything forward at this point will do.
Anything.
And yes, Tupp....being curious is a shift in perspective that helps a lot. It's helped me make it through this day.
Nite, guys.
Light
--- End quote ---
Did things go, Lighter? Hope it went through okay. I find that inability to control others and other components very difficult to manage when it's something that's essential and when you have many things that kind of link together and have a domino effect, whether for good or for bad. I hope something moved in the right direction at least. Let us know. I've been thinking of you xx
lighter:
Things are going.... shipping today...arriving tomorrow. Will be a marathon day dealing with customs on one island then receiving freight and container on another, unlaoding and moving a quarter mile down the road with 4 other pallets on a flat bed trailer with a forklift following behind? And two short hours to move and place the very full, has to be unloaded container. Yesterday was about finding wifi, then sending e mails, then walking 1/4 mile to get phone service and discuss same. I thought my heart would explode.
I'm sure I LL be surprised at every turn, bobbing and weaving, solving problems on the fly this entire safari.
My sister and youngest dd arrived yesterday afternoon. I'm so happy they're here!
My brother just called, and my father had a stroke thus morning. I was in California when he broke his leg. Why am I always so far away at these times? I'm always two hours or less away.....but when disaster strikes..... And my sister this time. I need her so much now. My father needs us.
It's funny how my mind goes to what the adult s in my life did in times like this.
Lighter
Hopalong:
I'm so very sorry about your father, Lighter....
so shocking and difficult to be at a distance.
There's no why to it, no something you coulda, shoulda, woulda...
I hope when you can you'll update us,
without adding to your stress. I assume you're
on your way home. Will be thinking of you today.
It is so hard to get that kind of news. Nobody can
hold back Nature...we just distract her for a while.
Be kind to yourself, and little girl Lighter, especially.
(((((Lighter))))))
love
Hops
lighter:
Thanks, Hops.
I can't go home yet.... I'm the consignee and no one can collect the freight but me.....it arrives tomorrow, and gets released on Friday. I'm half wishing I'd never started this project.
Now that father's attached to a ventilator, I'm particularly prickly about being extorted by the little people in positions of authority..... yesterday the marina manager used emotional terrorism as his way of collecting a landing fee.
He pretended he didn't know the freight company was scheduled to land at his marina, said they certainly could not and instructed me to plan for a Landing on the other island... blathering on about insurance and potential damage to other boats....
I called the freight company and she said the marina manager was happy about my delivery and jumped on the wagon with their own shipment of cargo landing at their marina too.
She said he said he told me about the landing fee,....he did not. He mentioned one was not in his hand by way of explaining no freight delivery was or could be scheduled. I'm so not in the mood to be terrorized and threatened right now.
I'm wondering if it would be cheaper financially and emotionally to go to the other island with the freight.... I'm so angry at this horrible man! The locals hate him.... he's operating like a criminal, and my father lays dying.
The idea we'll have to have to unhook him from the ventilator is horrifying. He never wanted that....wrote a living will to ensure it didn't happen to him.
I can't go until this delivery is done and every day there's a new link to overcome. Mr. Marina also said his forklift is down....another lie....and that insurance wouldn't let him loan it out anyway.....all the other marina staff said it could and have planned on it, btw. That's the next hurdle....getting the container off the chassis in a two hour span of time on Friday. The whole of Thursday will be paying up to 45% duty on the freight.... I missed the March cut off for hurricane relief programs....and this heavy equipment dilemma.
The good news is....once the freight is here I have competent folks here to deal with it. I can go home, and be with my father. The doctor said he has a large bleed in the left side if his brain.....gives him 1% chance. I'm not sure for what. Life? Recovery? He's already partially paralyzed....it can't be recovery. He's unresponsive. He coughs and grimaces....it must be terrible. His paralysis makes it difficult for him to cough on a good day. I'm so sad I'm not there, even if he can't hear me.
I'm so tired, and there's so much to do.
Lighter
Hopalong:
Oh my gosh. You're being extorted. "Money's not in my hand..." What a jerk. I hope there's someone ABOVE the marina manager you can talk to. Somebody owns the place, and a customer spelling out exactly what their manager is doing might be eyeopening.
If you are your father's Healthcare Power of Attorney, can you direct doctors to unplug your dad? I Taking out the tube isn't horrifying, it's peaceful. It gives him peace. You can, if it feels right to you, ask for his. Then they can give him "comfort measures only." Release.
SO hard on you to not be able to be there, but this is what is happening. It will be okay. You will be okay.
Can you take a few minutes to stand on the beach and telegraph your love and farewell to your father?
love
Hops
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