Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
This and That
sKePTiKal:
Lighter that man doesn't just sound like a criminal; he is one. Pirate variety. In your situation, you have two feasible choices - pay the extortion, if you can - to free yourself to travel. Or fight him... and then, I'd advise you to step out onto that beach FIRST by yourself, accept what you can't change... feel all those feelings... including the calm that will come with knowing what you "must do" after all that... and then, give him hell.
Don't waste time trying to figure out a way around him. Pick one of two choices. If you choose to pay him, understand that this is a "tried & true" way of the world and has always been this way. You by yourself aren't going to change that.
This level of stroke is rarely survivable. That's blunt; and I'm sorry for that. But you're in a time-critical situation and need to know that. Blessings my dear... and whatever you choose... us Amazons will keep the bonfire going for the moment when you can stop "doing" and just be.
lighter:
Ok.... I found an ally at the marina yesterday. I remembered him, and went straight to him yesterday morning. He solved several critical issues, and is dealing with the criminal accountant terrorist.....person.
The extortion is happening, just buffered and delivered by different people which brings up less fear.....and hate.
My father's breathing on his own now......comfort levels in place. I'm a bit of a mess, on and off. Certain conversations with certain people bring on tears, and my poor DD 15 gets carried along, at points, in my sadness....weeping. This is me mourning, and she's trying to be stoic, for my sake. I'm stoic, just bc there's so much to do, then I'm rocking. Sometimes in public.
Again...... The introvert in me flails, then goes to sleep early. Wakes too early. Sleeps again.
I'm badly in need of a hot shower, which I'll take at the marina first thing in the morning. The freight arrives sometime around 9 at the ramp. I plan to take a high protein breakfast, strong coffee, and a tiny green nerve pill at the far end of the marina.....then I'll walk to the ship.
What's going right in my life.....my sister and DD15 are amazing, and steady me.
The weather is perfectly calm, and mean I move forward with this huge, ungainly project.
There's another freight company opening up next month on this island.....the owner is my ally, and took me on his borrowed golf cart around the other island yesterday, helping me navigate problems, and presenting as excellent property manager. Such relief, I can't tell you.
Lighter
Hopalong:
Oh whew, Lighter.
I'm so glad you found some more supportive people there.
Is the second island just where the property manager guy lives?
I get very confused about where. But it doesn't matter.
I'm glad things are going better and good for you for seeing it all through.
Glad your dad is off the ventilator.
xxoo
Hops
sKePTiKal:
Is this a good sign that they've taken off the ventilator, Lighter? I mean, why did they think it was necessary in the first place? As a "just in case" until they had a more complete picture of the stroke?
Guess I'm confused a little.
lighter:
Dad put on ventilator bc they didn't know extent of stroke at the time. Once they knew the decisions were made for removal, but wanted to get his children's input first.
Dad receiving morphine....breathing slowing down. All monitors in room turned off, but nurses can see vitals in their control room. Very clean, we'll run hospital sibling says.....last night shined light into Dad's eye, and there was zero pupil response. He's already gone....been gone since night of the 3rd I think.
Customs agents at house so I have to run and see where we are in that process.
DD15 sleeping through this freight moving.... experience.
The journey continues.
Lighter
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