Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
This and That
sKePTiKal:
There are a couple ways to make that walkway Lighter. But since you want to plant moss, you're going to want to use the easiest way.
So, first step is outlining your path. Landscapers use a kind of spray paint to do this - but you can just layout length of hose, rope or even string. Then, you'll want to clear the sod off... and if you like, you can go down a couple or 3 inches, so the stone wil bel "sunk" in the dirt and the moss will grow up over the edges. I used to do this with creeping thyme.
So, you can either go gather stones (easy for me)... or have a pallet of "paver stone" delivered. The commercial stones will be more uniform in depth, even though there will be some variations. Then just lay them out in your own personal "puzzle" pattern. For moss growing, I'd use a mix of topsoil and peat moss (to hold moisture)... scoop it on top of the stones and then broom it in between. Wet it down really good - wait a few days - wet it again and plant your moss. I think you can also "feed" moss old milk... maybe it's buttermilk.
lighter:
Ahhhh, thanks for that, Amber. I'm wondering if I can find enough rocks to complete a path. I think I'll have to have pavers delivered.
I cleared all the weeds from the bottom of a giant oak tree today and planted more moss around it. Some of the round lovely moss from the nursery, and a big rock went in too.
A neighbor with a German Shepherd, I'd never met before, came round while I was pulling weeds. Another neighbor gave advice, and was giddy as a child wondering how my yard would turn out. I love his big black slow gentle dog.
I transplanted a lot of moss today. The girls owe me several hours in the yard, and I'm looking forward to that.
My youngest dd has a friend over. He's a boy, but not a "boyfriend." Of course he's very funny, and makes her laugh. She likes what we call "giggle boys." They're nerds together. Later on two more friends joined them, and stayed overnight. They're so nice. This morning they got up, and made brunch. DD cooked apple bottom pancakes, and the giggle boy cooked jalapeno, onion, and garlic scrambled eggs topped with cheese, hot sauce optional. I LOVE THIS KID. It's odd when the kids all the sudden grow up, yet aren't.
My oldest enjoyed being around her sister and friends. She played piano, did homework, cooked dinner tonight, and folds clothes as I write this. She has her school photo tomorrow so showered, and will have clothes picked out before bed, bc she thinks it's a good idea. If this doesn't sound wonderful, let me just tell you.... it is.
I can hear in her voice that she's paying attention to her tone, and words when she speaks to me. And it's a good thing, bc I feel like I have her back. I've really missed her.
Lighter
lighter:
Yesterday morning I woke up from a nightmare involving my late husband. Since his death I've had many dreams about him, but they were always of him alive, with me trying to solve everything peacefully. Sometimes there was kissing, of all things.
THIS dream was about his hunting me down, with various minions, and trying to kill me. I was running and hiding and being chased by him, new people he'd just found and convinced to help him so I wouldn't know their faces, etc. On and on it went.
I used to have running and hiding dreams about him during the divorce, but not for a long time have I had them.
At one point in the nightmare I was trying to find a hidey hole, and found my sister hiding behind a chair. She looked alarmed that she'd been outed, then offered to let me hide with her. I tried, but that meant we were both exposed. Two women, and one chair.. it didn't work. They found us.
I was exhausted all day after this dream.
Anyway, towards the end of the dream a devil-ish fellow came up to me and said....
"You know....you know." and it was assumed that I was being told there was a stalemate, and my husband had decided to let me live.
I was then in my Mother's entrance hall, in the house she lived in before she died, and my husband was coming to drop the kids off. I could hear the Pug's nails scratching on the drive.
And then husband walked up, put a pistol to my forehead and grinned at me. He'd tricked me, of course, and I fell for it, again. I reacted quickly, my head went left, my right hand up, and he blew one of my fingers off, but missed my head.
He looked upset and pulled the gun back down, and tried again. Same thing happened. He then handed me the gun, turned and walked away.
At this point, where I had the gun, and the choice to shoot him, I woke up. I wonder why I couldn't have woken up earlier, during the terrifying running and hiding stuff. Why did I wake up at that point?
I'm not used to this kind of dreaming. I think it's a new level of processing I haven't been able to deal with.
This morning I was driving home from school drop off and thought about a friend who passed away 3 years ago. My heart hurts to think of her. Just makes it hard to breath. I let myself go to that sad place, forced myself really. Eventually it felt like she curled up inside my chest, for comfort and safety, like she once curled up in my bed for comfort, like a child.
That's the way everything seems to be going lately. I force myself to face whatever is vexing me, and it leads to feeling better.
The front yard is almost clear of the larger weeds. I haven't been perfectly pulling everything at all times, but pulling will be easier from this point. I'm proud of myself. I think the neighbors can finally see what it's supposed to be. What I'll make of it: )
This weekend is Nana's birthday, and I have work to do on the farm, along with filling 3 or 4 underbed tupperwares with moss for my yard. WHOO HOO. Can't wait.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
ugh.... what an awful dream lighter.
lighter:
Ya, it really was terrible, Amber.
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