Weekend was great!
First night we spent with the publisher of my first book (poetry) in her family's huge old place near my university...she was (at nearly 80) her enchanting self, and the whole time was magical. I was so moved to be with her again. Major mentor in my writing life, and one of the most generous souls I've ever known. She never met a writer she didn't encourage, and her support buoyed me in a permanent way. I adore her. And she was smitten with B (has always adored men). Kept muttering things to me about him, like (my fav), "Staggeringly handsome!". Cracked me up.
B was dear and solicitous of her and lovely to all my friends, as usual.
Funny thing happened. On the way to the restaurant to me a couple I hold very dear and hadn't seen for 15 years, we passed the fabulous art museum (used to live across the way and spent many hours in rapt poet-spaced-out joy there) and I actually choked up just at the sight of that building. Then when I saw my long-lost gf at the restaurant (mother of my own D's best friend and aware of much that's happened, seeing her own Ds photo laid me out again) I hugged her and just started crying. Had to go to the loo to compose myself. Finally blurted out to her, "This was the last place I was truly happy." It was bittersweet but so lovely, beyond lovely, to be in that place and with those dear people again. Her hubby picked up the tab for all five of us, which shocked me. Warn't cheap!
B had wild boar. He was a bit stunned at the surroundings I think. Sophisticated in a way your average high-end golf club isn't! I took two huge hanging baskets (petunias, a cool hybrid blue stripey one). One for my publisher, which she reacted to like a new adopted baby, even given that she has a sun porch jammed with plants...and one for B's friends.
Next day we went to the shore to stay with them for two nights -- a verrry eccentric couple. She a glass artist and he a fine carpenter. Huge rambling house that was a wing added, then another wing...etc. It was jammed with objects and art and sculptures to the point of claustrophobia (and don't get me, or my lungs, going on the dust...). But we had a sort of upstairs apartment to ourselves in the last wing and it was fine. They were kind and welcoming and lively and she cooked something fierce. I was touched and happy to connect so well with them. She and I hopped into her convertible and went into the little village where her art is part of a store's display. It was just fun. I picked up on some martial tension with them and hope they can resolve it, as folks like that don't come around every day.
She shared a few stories about B and his wife (for whom she had a lot of sympathy...controlling was the issue B's wife wrestled with too). She also said how much they cared for B and how delighted they were with me, so that was mighty sweet. I'm sure if I stay with B we'll be friends too.
We went to look at B's old place, which was unoccupied. Beautiful stone house right on the river, and B felt melancholy about how his painstaking landscaping had been either undone or neglected by the next owner. I was glad to be on the spot of such a big chapter in his life and it clearly meant a lot to him to tour me around and show me so much of it. Lovely area, remote, wooded, lovely homes, etc.
On the way home we yakked it up and he surprised me by asking some questions about Aspergers, and said he thought (or had heard a T say, I don't recall) that he might be somewhat that way. That made a lot of sense to me. I asked kindly, "Do you think you sometimes miss some social cues?" and he said, Yes, I think so. That touched me and made me less impatient (internally) with his incredibly laborious storytelling. I talk and think at lightning speed and he tells a story with such slow deliberation that it tests me a lot. And this tidbit made me soften, find compassion and patience. So I'm glad we had such a long stretch of road time that it allowed that to come out.
All in all a very good experience that left me feeling more hopeful. B started telling me how much he'd like to return to the UK (he was there as an Air Force cadet) and it wasn't hard to fantasize being on a trip like that....
Thanks for asking!
love
Hops
