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Twoapenny:
I hear you on the new builds, Hopsie, I much prefer old places but as you say, you can decorate any way you want and fill it with lived in furniture and colour.  And the same with the garden; I have an image of fifteen identical lawns with neat tubs by the pathway and then one garden with a riot of flowers and a swing seat in it :)  And yes, caring for anyone at any time is hard work, doing it when you're older yourself is just so much to do (and I know that many do it) but sometimes when we're out I see an elderly person pushing another elderly person around in a wheelchair and it just breaks my heart (mostly because I know how tiring pushing someone around is and I'm thirty years younger than the person I'm seeing in my mind right now).  They're necessary conversations to have.

lighter:
Hops"

I like the idea of a tiny house build on your large lot.  It sounds divine, and we're completely on board with downsizing and simplicity.  I think it could be nice to have rental property options. 

::nodding:

I do love color on walls.... the robbin egg blue makes me feel safe and happy.  Butter cream yellow makes me feel calm, and bright.  I like the idea of you choosing colors around your own paintings.

About long term care insurance.... I looked at it.  It's expensive.  I opted instead for life insurance, and would never consider creeping into a decrepit old age.  I don't fantasize about not going there.... I KNOW I won't go there.  We should have control over end of life decisions, of that I'm sure.

Lighter



 

Hopalong:
That's brave, Lighter. Which I am not...

It's hard, watching my two folks in their nineties reckon with where they are.
I can see it in their eyes sometimes. The gradual loss of hope that there will be periods when it's good, or good enough to feel worth it. They continue to hang on, but my older gent with zero family (and nobody visiting more often than me) -- sometimes it shows, that defeat is coming. He's had a fierce fight for life since I started with him a year ago when he was due a heart procedure. And it's been slow downhill since. He is SO willful (and driving) that when he decided he wanted implants, off he went to a dentist (whom I consider a profiteer) and had seven teeth extracted. While waiting for the new denture, he's lost 15 or 20 pounds he couldn't afford to lose. He's skeletal, hates eating, and only forces himself to.

The Nlady has a failing heart and one kidney, and a current kidney infection. Her survival is a daily surprise in a way. But her Nishness oddly is sustaining her. She is SO compelled to maintain image and illusion (I am still the charming center of everyone's universe) and seek attention/admiration that her drive is something to behold. She is, of the three, the most demented. I found her phone in a kitchen drawer the other day, and though we speak by phone in the morning, by the time I get there she's often forgotten I'm coming and masks it by being scattered. She talks nonstop and exhausts her friends, but I see them circling dutifully in the same way my mother's did.

I don't envy either one, and the two share many personality traits. It's all about control and all about them, absolutely nonstop.

My third lady is a selfless delight who thinks about other people all the time. She is the only one who thought of me at Christmas. She had her kids send me a cash card and she went to the trouble of buying a fancy water bottle for my pooch, whom she'd met when we swung by my house on day. Pooch scrambled into the car and checked her out, and she's not even a dog person I think. But she's kind and tuned in, and recognizes how much I adore pooch. I was very touched.

Neither of the Ns (if I don't go too far in calling them that, but I swear, I don't...how many are there in this world?) even paused to think of a thank-you or a card. I bought Ngent a fancy pillow and gave the two ladies a cute basket of chocolates. Gave all three a perfect holiday card that spoke of gratitude, with notes thanking them for all they've taught me.

Big OT ramble, Light, but I hear you. I'm such a coward that I don't know if I could pull it off but I always say I would.

xo
Hops

sKePTiKal:
I think what speaks to us about older structures is the echoes of the life previously lived there - the people - the kids who ran a toy into the molding, and yes - that means the house wears it's bumps and bruises and "war medals" just like people do.

That's one thing about the new cabin that attracted me. Not only was it a decent layout for living on one floor (for me)... but I had self-contained guest space and the pretty good sized "utilitarian" downstairs. The downstairs still need "help" and since I'm annoyed by the wall/door layout... before I finally get rid of the carpet which makes no sense with all the wood dirt I get on it... I want my contractors back to tell me if my ideas will work.

I am committing the mortal sin of actually painting some of the trim in places. The interior walls are totally all pine. I LIKE that look, but it does get visually boring, despite the cozy feel.

The beach house was about the same vintage as this cabin; a little newer - but definitely a florida coastal style. And meant to impress the snot out of the "less fortunate". I hated that about it... so putting wood shutters to most of the windows worked to give it a slightly less snooty character. More Caribbean... and I deliberately created a style I called "post-modern pirate". Very simple, durable, "club style" furniture with some softer touches and eclectic as an indoor yard sale.... or open market bazaar.

I let Mike help me turn the poolhouse into total Margaritaville tacky.

That furniture transitioned to the cabin just fine (with some massive purging of pieces that were huge and simply wouldn't fit in here). For now. I'm just now beginning to think about tweaking it and blending it into a new "theme" which is industrial, rustic, viking "great hall"... LOL.

In general, I find older homes are better quality builds than new construction. That wasn't true of the beach house, however... so that statement doesn't always hold true. It's possible to find an older home with the character preserved... and the functional systems modernized already. With this house, I assumed the job of updating what needed it, and I'm constantly shifting focus from one area to another always prioritizing the work that should completed first (from a logic standpoint); safety; and modern efficiency. I've also seen new plans/builds that DO respect the architectural heritage of an area. The architects and contractors are sensitive to this buyer subset.

Hopalong:
For me it's not so much the house building, but the context.

Trees GONE.
Land CLEARED.
Houses (even fancy) CRAMMED together.
Zero diversity, white enclaves
HOAs
No yards

All that bugs me more than the buildings, as with color and imagination any interior can be creative/original.

But taken in those new-development settings, it ain't worth it to me....

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