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End of the Road Farm

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Hopalong:
There are surely sooooo many possible reasons you are where you are, Amber, and doing what you're doing.

Your creativity (that does extend to a mountain farmette!)
A place to heal from losing Mike
Stimulation of the projects
Being an emotional survivalist
Practicality
Beauty of nature
Love of adventure
Respect for your own introversion

And more, more. You'll uncover more and more reasons your life has meaning and clarity.

You ROCK it, mountain or ocean or sidewalk.

love,
Hops

sKePTiKal:
You know, I think I have to call the equipment place and order an auger. I think I'm going to kick myself for not getting that particular attachment at the same time as everything else.

Digging 10 holes for the rose in rock & shale... is intimidating. Difficult. Holly said she could really work off a lot of frustration helping, but as soon as this last freeze is past (tomorrow night)... these babies need to get into the dirt.

But saying "no; I don't 'need' that" first, is all part of the denial dance I put myself through; I "should" be able to dig those holes by hand. Yep; indeed-y do. But dammit, I'm 61. I'd much rather dig in soft dirt. And I've got a LOT planting of shrubs/trees like this I want to do.

I've just about "had it" with this reflex to deny myself; make life harder on me; choose to feel like I don't deserve such & such. Downright sick of it in fact. And then the sheepish return later on... admitting I really wanted/needed it in the first place.

Boredom is indeed setting in, in the form of cabin fever. My imagination is feeding off itself - and it gets into trouble doing that. I can't remember the last time I was bored. Maybe before I quit my job.

lighter:
Arrrgh.. that denial bug. 

Get the auger, Amber. 

You'll use the auger.

Lighter

sKePTiKal:
Already ordered before you posted Light.  I NEED it this weekend, when the weather is supposed to be decent. I NEED my topsoil/compost too, around the same time. But equipment scheduled for Tuesday; and I'll need to check back in with nursery on whether they're digging topsoil yet - it's been too wet and today's weather isn't helping.

lighter:
Arghh... I remember when I wanted to dig fence posts for dog area... and my father's auger had been loaned out by my brother.... years and years and years ago. 

I got the auger back, then lost the momentum to GET THE JOB DONE.... lost the thread.... lost the will.  I lost something I needed, even after the auger came back.  I guess I expected it to be put ON the tractor, but it was just plopped down, and... I lost the thread.

You get the job done, Amber, and we'll all cheer for you.

::nod::.

This is so exciting.  Spring at your farm!

Lighter

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