Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
End of the Road Farm
sKePTiKal:
Is OK, Hops. I do get that we all have those thresholds at different places. But it does help to laugh at it all - the stereotypes he pokes fun at (male & female) and how they still persist in all our psyches... despite how hard we CAN work to not fall into that trap. We can laugh WITH each other over what I call "dumb things humans do". We all have "something" about ourselves like this, and while they're different things, I think being able to laugh at ourselves is a form of love & acceptance*.
Michael ALWAYS had more shoes than I did and couldn't resist the gaudiest, tackiest things. I was definitely a mudhen, to his peacock. And except for space issues, it really didn't bother me.
*I mean something entirely different from the "mean" sort of humor that I see a lot of these days - laughing AT someone, and putting them down or having a laugh at someone's expense. I don't find any of that funny at all. It can be a fine line, granted; and perhaps our personal thresholds have a lot to do with how we perceive it.
Laughing is really good for the soul. I think it helps chi flow, too.
sKePTiKal:
First real sign that Holly is moving forward now:
The show they thought might be coming - isn't. So everything on the stages/in the warehouse has to be removed and/or disassembled. That's another 2 weeks of work for her. And the production has to sell off the furnishings they used on set. She got a bed for $30 (sans mattress; but easy to procure later)... a couple of chairs, 2 glass front bookcases and 2 floor lamps for $140 total. So she is already beginning to think about the "next place" she can turn into a "Holly-nest".
I don't know WHERE she could've gotten her talent (and luck) for this kind of thing.... :takes tongue out of cheek and stops rolling eyes:
She never really had a chance to put her "touch" on Matt's place; never really "moved in together" in 9 years. So this is her doing what comes natural -- and feeds back into her self; she's gonna be just fine.
sKePTiKal:
Except the proverbial "other shoe" has dropped. Again. :shock:
Please stay tuned for another episode of the disgusting Amy saga. Or maybe not. It's like a lot of movie sequels - it's the same story; only some of the characters and "action shots" have changed. Y'all have heard it all before and truthfully nothing significant has changed. Just the added threats of physical violence this time... even directed at Holly and me, this time. And Sky is almost 18. I'm thinking I won't put y'all through it again.
The threats, I'm not totally convinced this guy is capable of acting on. But he's not rational either... and I've already rallied troops, gotten experienced advice, and for now - am just trying to keep Holly kinda centered. As usual, her innate kindness and sense of how "wrong" things are, are making her examine what if anything can help or fix the situation. But again (just spoke on the phone) she really doesn't need my help - just compassion/commiseration.
And I'm just trying to process out my revulsion at the details/circumstances... and find some glimmer of hope that all three of them: Amy and the boys even HAVE a future.
Apparently Amy has said she's really close to "ghosting" both Holly and me. My comment was: oh, please, make my dreams come true! But I know it's really a lie, because the next time she gets herself in a fix that requires money, I'm getting a phone call. (I have yet to speak directly with her this time.) There is only so much evil, depravity, perversion and irrationality I can stand before I simply shut down and shut it out of my mind. And it doesn't seem to make sense to me anymore... to try to protect and defend people like that without letting them suffer the consequences of their actions. I'm real sorry bad things are happening to them, because of their choices.
But when it's starts to show up on my doorstep, I'm all out of pity and sympathy.
Twoapenny:
Oh Skep, I'm so sorry. I always get really behind on your threads because you're so busy, I feel like I've only missed a couple of days but you've crammed so much into them it takes me a while to catch up :)
I'm sorry that the Amy situation has come to a head again. It's so hard, isn't it, drawing a line between being supportive and kind of playing a role in abusing yourself, in a way. Especially with kids involved, albeit kids who are older now. But I'm sorry things haven't worked out a bit better this time and I hope you're able to find a way through it that doesn't involve you having to put yourself out there to get hurt xx
lighter:
What a nightmare, Amber. I'm sorry you and Holly have to keep watching Amy train wreck her life, over and over. I'm sorry Amy and her sons are IN that train wreck. It's terrible. There are no good options. There never have been.
I hope Holly can pull back, gain some perspective, and remain fairly centered while she's transitioning out of her relationship with M. I'm sure you remind her she didn't cause Amy's problems, she can't control Amy, and she can't fix her problems. Only Amy can do that, and A will have to choose that for herself when she's ready.
Caring more than Amy won't help Amy.
Staying centered, so you have more emotional and physical resources if needed, is better than spinning into grief, and despair. I know you KNOW all this, but sometimes it helps to see and hear these things when grief, despair and resigned acceptance present at the same time.
Resigned acceptance is a difficult choice, but it's the only one that doesn't eat us alive, IME. I hope Holly remains focused on herself.
Lighter
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