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End of the Road Farm

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Twoapenny:

--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on November 25, 2018, 08:56:10 AM ---Finally feeling semi-human again - now to get back to what didn't get done.

--- End quote ---

Yay - glad you're feeling better :)  Don't go too mad with catching up, though, you might still need a bit of recovery time :) xx

sKePTiKal:
The past couple months, Hol's had a chance to unpack just about everything in her life - from her head & heart - that's ever given her grief. I surely hope we're getting to the end of it soon... as since I'm the only real human around her, I'm the one getting it all trotted out for me - and here recently, a good bit of her "seeing" has been about me personally.

So far, we're still able to keep right on going and understand that we both care very much for each other. It takes a toll, however, on both of us. There are idiosyncrasies in each of us and differences, that can make working together fraught. So we're trying other ways of working... communication can be a dicey area, but we're working on that.

So far, so good. I think. It's kind of the right time - and the opportunity exists - for her to do this kind of thing. I've noticed some old traits about her, that are still kind of driving some of her discomfort... and I think they might be anxiety related. But anyhoo... there has been a LOT of time devoted to this kind of thing lately. With the weather turning unseasonably cold, and limiting our work options, it could be a good thing. But I've got other things to do as well... and I need to figure out a way to accomplish that.

Hopalong:
You know,
you have every right (without relinquishing an iota of mother-tigerness) to require some balance for your own well being.

To state that you are going to take a break from the intensity for a day or so or hour or so...needs no explanation. It's just your right.

That stuff may be exciting and powerful and healing and no doubt is all of those. But without pacing and time to breathe and relax and touch base with your own replenishments, it can become draining and toxic.

love,
Hops

sKePTiKal:
I know Hops. We're working on that too. LOL. I think we'll both come out of this winter together, new & improved. Still with the same old patina from "wear & tear"... but free-er.

Household projects are still on-going, but slowed down by delivery delays and back-orders. Farm projects consist only of getting things protected from the elements, before the elements start falling from the sky. Hunters are still camped out in the barn, for now. It's more comfortable/doable for Ronnie to get around on the concrete in that bigger building. And he's got his own ranger to get to the back 40, too. Still rehabbing, figuring out how to do things on his own.

I've just about got the Christmas shopping done. We've decided to bake the traditional cut-out cookie recipe this year... but Holly is going off into the weird zone with cookie cutters and decorations. Which is OK.

The next interior project is going to be the main living space. I've done a few bits and pieces... but essentially, I picked out a few things from the beach house or before, that would work in here even if it's not optimal. The studio/garage under... also has the beginnings of plans in my head, too.

That's what I do all winter long, because I don't have to look outside myself or where I am, to make "fun". Something I'm trying to teach Hol, that she should've learned a long time ago. Or learned better.

Hopalong:
Me, too.
I wish I could catch a contagion of connecting to my home again.

There's so much I could do to make it prettier/happier, but I've
just disengaged from that pleasure. Clutter and neglect. It's clean
enough, but way way far from optimized.

That's Thing #1 (after Writing) that I hope new T can help me with.
If I'm alone here, I'm alone, and I have got to rediscover my joy in
decor and periodic guests and domestic putzing, or ... bad stuff.

love
Hops

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