Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
End of the Road Farm
sKePTiKal:
aaaaaannnnnnndddd... just like that, "hurricane Holly" met someone from an online dating app. He's a local boy, also developing/renovating an old farm near here. They've been spending a good deal of time together in the past week/10 days. He's younger than she is. LOL... he seems very nice, but I'm not able to get much of a read on him yet. It's not "serious"; she considers this "fun" for now - and it's definitely a way for her to get through the holidays without succumbing to boredom, restlessness or running over the mental-overanalyzing "what went wrong" with Matt. New guy seems to just taking things at the same speed, so it works. She has a couple other "friends" - guys she's known awhile - she's talking to, but they're on the other side of the country... so not much companionship there.
I'm just as glad to have some "me time"... and move at my own speed again. Even if I am dogsitting, because Knuckles managed to cut his dew claw some days ago. She wants to keep him relatively quiet till it heals up better.
I have so many teeny tiny things I want to do - that don't matter to anyone but me - and I want/need time to just THINK and suss out where I might venture off next, in the coming months. Necessary projects, "nice to have" projects, and the "pretties" that got postponed due to lousy weather all spring & summer. I'm waiting on a storage/platform bed for the former "bunkroom", and trying to organize (read: purge) my office... have been making steady headway doing the same thing in the studio. Garage under studio, is still a disaster... and no, I didn't get a wood shed built this year.
So having "quiet time" like this... is PERFECT for me. And the new beau is doing wonders for her ego-wounds... and keeping her entertained for now. I signed back up for a dating site too. But found that most of the "matches" are the old ones from the last time I subscribed. Huh, ya think maybe they just made up some profiles? Those guys don't TALK, that's for sure. Even if I initiate conversation. There was one new guy - a writer - who was funny as hell in his profile. I sent him a flirty message... got a response... and he promptly killed his account.
It has been suggested that the next time I go to Home Depot and shop for men... I take rope & duct tape. LOL. "Look what I brought home Holly"... LOL.
But, ya know what? It's just not that a big a deal for me and I keep myself entertained pretty well, most of the time.
----------------
PS - my mom sent me a box last week - pictures of where she's lived the last 20 years (but no longer does) and pics of my niece/nephew... but I'd already gotten some from my brother. AND, there were 3-4 years worth of birthday cards she never got in the mail... and "very early works in oil" by yours truly. Only one of which I might have an attachment to...
LOL. For what it's worth - she's trying to catch up. But so far, the "spots" are the same... no change yet.
lighter:
Amber, are you buried in snow? We're about melted out, but there was a frantic snow blowing day, directed by an elderly neighbor, 2 days ago. Honestly, I think we'd be ok to let everything melt, and skip the back breaking work. I say that every time, but I can't watch
that neighbor, and not help. The snow plow came down our street yesterday. School likely to resume tomorrow, which is good, bc I have a dentist appt I'd like to keep. I baked. We made yummy food. I'm ready to get out of the house now.
It's good Holly has a distraction. I'm not sure what to make of the online dating, but it seems to be a distraction for you too. You have your sense of humor in place. Glad to see it.
How's your brother doing?
Lighter
Hopalong:
Amber, sounds like serendipity! Holly with a new boyfriend (don't get me going about how cool that would be for you if she one day settled on his farm....brakes, Hops, brakes...). And you're craving some creative cave time, your own pace, all of that.
I hope it continues and gives you that winter creative spirit. I hope the office purging rubs off over here!
I know what you mean, Lighter, about pointless shoveling when it's all going to melt fast anyway. I wasted $25 yesterday on a cute young man-bun wandering the neighborhood with his shovel. Fast 15 min. for him and I could have skipped it (short driveway and two short walks). Pretty good snow but not that much...stayed home Monday but had no trouble getting out and about today.
Seeing Pooch in her little red insulated "coat" a friend gave her was fun. Even bouncing her little self through the snow, she stayed visible.
I had a new online date a week ago. Very sweet man, but again...lives nearly two hours away. I'm going to treat him to a beer tasting here after the holidays. The other very sweet man (engineer) type who lives on a different lake got in touch, explained the lady he was seeing wasn't panning out, and could we meet up to "talk about options." Lord. Engineers.
I wrote him I am genuinely pleased to have him as a friend but don't see romance in our cards. He said fine, but will I go with him to a historic site? I'm happy he could shift gears easily but we just are TOO unalike for an intimate thing. So now and then he'll pass through and we'll have lunch.
That may describe how things with men go for the rest of my life...and maybe it's not so bad.
Hope you enjoy all that you are doing and that the holiday blues recede. If they don't, got that Hellidays thread for you!
love
Hops
sKePTiKal:
LOL Hops, you matchmaker you...
I have no expectations that Holly will ever follow a traditional course. New guy doesn't even rate "relationship" status yet. But she LIKES him and has fun being with him. We're still talking about building her something at the farm... and not exactly rushing it. She's going for walks with new guy - who raises mushrooms along with ducks, geese chickens and dogs... and scouting out possible sites.
And I'm pretty sure I'm going to not want to commit to a legally binding situation either. It's not out of the question and things happen. But I'm definitely NOT advertising (or available) for such right now.
She has cultivated a pretty wide circle of diverse friends. And despite the fact she's not lived in the city "over the mountain" for a decade... new guy was asking her if she was a celebrity or something, as many people come up to say hi and hug her. At least he's not intimidated by her... or looking to "possess" her. This whole experience for her, has been a giant ego-boost; she readily admits that. But her reaction to that is to tread even more carefully and deliberately - knowing those recent lessons she's starting to get past. She's still making things, too. Still an amateur; it serves the purpose of keeping her focused during non-work, non-scheduled time but her skills are improving a lot.
It's awfully easy for me to vicariously "have a life" while she's around. But since she's been going out more often, I seem to have acquired a dog - LOL... and have had time to accomplish my little things that I know I want to do. Cooking is a frequent creative outlet right now.
And I'm almost at the point... where my interior design phase on the house is just about to hit a comfortable, flexible and functional stage. The studio/garage building is next on the list... but I still haven't decided what I want yet. That's a whole different process... because it is shared workspace now, part-time "party room" and overflow guest accomodations.
Been thinking more about next season's project list. I think a generator tops it, for now... but some study needs to go into that... and hard decisions made about "need" versus "want" for what I want to power. It'll be pricey to fuel it with propane, but I can get the longest run-time that way with another 1000 gal tank. Especially if I am restrained on the "wants" list... well pump is one of the top things; hot water the next on the list... then I guess freezer/fridge. Everything else, I believe I have adequate backups for... and lights are the last on the list. Absolutely don't need lights.
The outdoor kitchen is getting thought about again, too. It would make a good canning kitchen, as well as making it easier to cook for the large groups of people Hol likes to surround herself with from time to time. It will be wood fired, but I'm not finding good sources yet for plans to build. I'll keep looking.
But so far, nothing's written in stone yet.
lighter:
Amber:
Get a good generator. Whatever size, try not to have to go outside, under a crawl space, and power things on, one at a time, every 20 minutes. Get one that kicks in, and powers the fridge/ freezer, pump and a few outlets all by itself, if you can. My neighbor had one like that, while I was in my crawlspace. Hers was the better set up.
:: Nodding::.
I'm glad you're cooking with interest, and enjoying your outdoor kitchen plans. It seems you have a handle on the big projects, and can relax into things now.
I'm curious about what you and Hold might build, if you find the site, for her. Three bedrooms, 2.5 baths, or maybe a small cabin, just for her? Oh dear. Now I'm picturing a tree house; )
Hops, have fun on your outings.
Lighter
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