Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Storming
sKePTiKal:
Bet you find your "zen mode" weeding the moss again Lighter. ;)
lighter:
Yup yup yup.... back to moss, and figuring out class schedule for myself.
I paid my attorney happily.... she charged me less than an Atlanta attorney would have charged me for an half hour. Amazing, and she did lots of research last night, and was brilliant today. Just brilliant.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Lighter, I had missed all of this as we had no internet while we were away, my heart was in my mouth reading those posts but I am so glad it all got settled and quickly. When you say his copy had the dodgy looking 4 do you mean it looked like he changed it himself?? To deliberately cause another problem? I am so glad this guy is gone and all legal stuff sorted; I'm guessing there's no comeback now as everyone's had their chance to go to court and say what they need to? I'm glad it's all over for you. What a bizarre and frightening experience to have been through. I wish they would set up an island to put all the crazy makers so they can drive each other nuts and leave the rest of us alone xx
lighter:
Yes, Tupp. A messy 4, on all the copies AND original absolutely looked like a definitive 9 on the contractor's paperwork. That's not to say that his copy wasn't worse... it was the only faxed copy. All the other copies were made on a copy machine... this one was faxed to another County. My feeling is that he had a terrible copy, took a pen, marked it into a worse copy, then copied it again.
::nodding::.
Yes. He did this to add time, trouble, and expense. Confusion is his cologne.
If I didn't say yesterday, my attorney was gobsmacked when opposing counsel explained the knife incident needed to be placed into context..... OC told my attorney that only happened bc I was refusing to give the contractor the empathy he was asking for, and so menacing me with a knife was understandable. :shock:
My attorney was mortified.... she's gay, in her late 30's, and did not see that as a reasonable action. Neither did she believe this Judge would.
So, that means that this attorney is one of the "wolf pack" buddies this contractor drinks with nightly. They belong to their own He Man Women Haters Group, justifying each others terrible situations and behaviors, and reassuring themselves that it's ALL THE WOMAN'S FAULT... nothing to do with them. Interesting to see it seep into the courthouse. They have zero shame. They don't believe women have equal rights. They see interpersonal terrorism as normal courtship behavior. It's not pathological.... they kind'a know it's wrong, but they, in their hearts, believe that's the way the world should work, and they're clinging on for dear life. Sad, really.
Tupp.... here's the thing about PD's causing problems in the legal system. Usually the system is full of PD's and people who are easily manipulated, or people who make money off of conflict.... think type A attorneys, many N's, IME.
Once the PD does something, someone else, or more than one, can ramp up the problem, and add months, sometimes years to the process.
IN THIS COUNTY the Judges and attorneys know each other. There's an easy feeling... very friendly, and I will way they seem to have the litigants under control... they call a case, it gets heard right then and there, or settled outside the courtroom in little conference rooms with glass panels into the courtroom. Attorneys control their clients, keeping the topic to JUST THE FACTS AT HAND, and getting to solutions without wasting any time at all. In fact, I never spoke to opposing counsel or saw contractor's face. That means litigants aren't triggered by words, or voices, or facial expressions... just brilliant strategy for attorney's who want to settle a case, and move on. I've never seen anything like it. Ever.
I think it's all about intention.... this system isn't run by jaded, corrupt, bitter old misogynists. Nope nope nope. The male attorneys are as nice as the female attorneys, no one is competitive. They all want to protect and serve the families in this civil family court.... I was amazed. They should bottle the formula, hire only these kinds of attorneys, and implement it in all States, and Counties, IMO. Honestly, it didn't even feel like court to me, it was so different from my experiences in Atlanta family court.
I wish the crazy people could enjoy epiphanies.... find their humanity and be healed, but that's not going to happen.
About this being over... I kind'a think it's over but for contractor telling everyone he knows that I cheated. stole, and lied....telling them what he did to me, and that the bitch was asking for it. I have to remember there's no use trying to explain to people who will not hear.
I have to be more careful about who I let into any part of my life. That's my part in this.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Lighter, my skin is crawling. Malevolent is the word that keeps coming in to my mind when I read about this guy. And the whole trivialising the knife thing - wow. That normalisation of abuse or violence is what keeps the cycle going, in my opinion. Thank goodness for people like you who stand up to men like that, both the contractor and the attorney that thinks this should be seen in context (!). You've handled this magnificently. As for being careful about who you let in to your life - it's very difficult, particularly in a work situation. This guy was recommended to you as someone who would get the job done - not to be a friend or to have any personal ties. I don't see how you could have been aware that he'd be the way he is. You wouldn't have had your guard up because he was just there to work and get paid. He was recommended and that would usually be a good thing.
The contractor will most probably paint himself the victim, it's what they do. Smart people will see through him, others won't. I think it's a tough aspect of this, knowing you're being bad mouthed by someone who should be grateful they're not in jail, quite frankly. You did a grand job, as always. Know that and focus on your own amazing self :) xx
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