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Beware the scorned NM

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Ales2:
My last job ended in March. I was an Associate Producer of the local TV show and produced 16 episodes.  In April, I produced a Power Point Presentation for the web and have a business partner for that. The Course could yield as much as 5k per month for both of us with the appropriate online and direct marketing. In May, I took on a business partner for a new Tv show, with a pitch deck and business plan just like the one I recently completed. It requires Investors to produce the show.

Instead of offering encouragement, help or suggestions of where I can make these ventures successful or profitable, I am being pushed to look for Executive Assistant and Office Manager work.

This is the story of my life, no matter what I pursue, I'm consistently pushed and marginalized into lesser positions.

This is the end of the line for this therapist and my mother. Neither care or listen enough for me to speak and explain myself.

Ales2:
Financial dependency is not the problem. When I was successful and independent the words I hear is:


they made a mistake
it won't last
you didn't earn it/deserve it
thats cushy considering your experience
....and so on.

Marginalization has nothing to do with financial dependence/independence. Its ignoring people's accomplishments and belittling them or undervaluing their contribution.

lighter:
I'm sorry the T didn't work out, Ales.  For a second there it seemed like you found someone who understands you. 

From here, I took away this....

the T doesn't understand what you do, or what it means to you.   I felt he was asking you to state, and defend your position so you both understood it better.  Since you were there, you have a better idea about what he meant. 

Your mother likely colored his view on your career choice. Maybe he didn't understand clearly what you yourself said about it.  He's likely very concerned about you, and as I said... doesn't understand well enough to make suggestions like he's making.   Not being understood can be different than being judged, and marginalized?

Not sure, but I'm sorry you're so disappointed.  You seemed to get on very well with that T.  I can't imagine, for a moment, his message that you were overpaid, and out of your depth... as your mother suggested over the years, is what he intended you to hear. 

Lighter

 

Hopalong:
And I have zero doubts, zero, about your creativity and your competence, Ales.
I have an outsider's view of Hollywood which is probably very inadequate to truly understand the market there anyway. I just read things about the vast numbers of talented people competing for jobs, but maybe it's much like the rest of the country. I really don't have enough knowledge to hold forth about it.

When my career was stalling I hit real depression, accepting the shock of "downward mobility" in my 50s was really hard. Forgive me if for projecting some of my own rough memories into your situation. You're in a unique field in a unique place.

You sound as though you know your stuff, you know where to look, and you should be cheered on rather than deflated!

CHEERING!hugs,
Hops

Ales2:
Thanks for the comments.

Yesterday, I had an angry conversation between my Mom and me, therapist present in my head on my 3 mile walk. It went like this ...

You never....blah blah blah...
What the problem? Same thing for the last 40 years...
Mom says she still does not know what that is...
I've been complaining about it for the last 40 years...

Therapist stops the conversation. Tries to redirect it...

Then I have this epiphany. I could explain it one more time to a woman who is both deaf and incapable of understanding me. Nothing would be solved.  I've come to the conclusion that I have been trying to get along with a person for 50 years of my life now....and if nothing has gotten through to her by now, its too late. Ive wasted so much of my life on this relationship and its hurt me in so many ways, its just not meant to be. No therapist if going to fix this. 

I feel liberated. Nothing I do with her will ever matter. The only thing I need to now is move my life forward. And, I don't think there is room for her in that new life.

Their actions of pushing me into an Executive Assistant job when my last job was as a Producer, clearly tells me they are not going to support my growth and financial independence.

I agreed to three sessions. I agreed to take other work and pursue other work avenues. After the next session, I will tell them we are done, I agreed to what they wanted and we can end our sessions. No need to go back. I will exit peacefully and gratefully, there is no need to be angry about it.

One note - I think the T wanted me to take another job immediately, so my mother can feel better and not worry about me and move on to her assisted living or selling her house or whatever nonsenses she's currently claiming. I think when we are more "stabilized" (his word, not mine) that he would want to work on the relationship. Not really. I told them if I was not going to continue to working in TV production there is no reason for me to stay in LA. If I am going to work outside the business, I will move to Florida. They have a better cost of living.

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