Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness
sKePTiKal:
Sounds like things are coming along - in the normal fashion they do - Lighter.
It very well COULD be hotter there this year; it's been cooler than normal here - even if I do whine about the heat/humidity. Anything above 83 with humidity about does me in. Today is a gloomy overcast and soggy day after last night's rain.
I am so glad, that I didn't just keep adding things into my "list" around here this year. I really wanted to finish the last few things on last year's list that got pushed back... and EVERYTHING I've tried to do since March/April has been delayed. Farmer's Almanac comes out next week I think. I can't wait to find out their predictions for winter/next spring. Next year's list COULD be pretty intensive again - IF the weather will cooperate.
lighter:
Amber:
I'm glad you stopped adding to your list too.
I'd like to try living differently the remainder of this year. I'm ready to stop agonizing over things, and problems, and deadlines. Sometimes I recognize chaos creation habits before they have me. Sometimes not.
Friday my Bora-Mild-Care wasn't delivered as promised. I started to spin, then shrugged, and left an after hours message to deal with today. The first call was calm, but didn't realize a trainee answered. Got original customer service gal on line, and think it's handled....re routing 5 gallons to hotel in different city, by Friday....
what could go wrong? The thing is, I stayed calm. Swam with DD. Cooked three beautiful lasagnas in an electric skillet, and worked on making bathroom look fresh, and clean....walking meditation for me when in right headspace. I know you know what I mean. This is sea change for me to notice fretting patterns, and choose joy instead.
I noticed there was as much worry about how failure would look to others, as for all my expensive lumber, and work to be eaten by termites. Both very alarming, and problematic for me...... delivery date sabotage not my fault, but doesn't matter, bc of the fail. Still feels like I FAILED, but shaking off. Sibling jept saying...."We feared you put your order in too late," so calmed myself over and over, each time. Assigning blame in my family is a thing. Focusing on resolution 100x better. Customer service apologized profusely, and refunded next day air fee. All good, and I didn't need to make her feel bad to handle it. I noticed I tend to take in responsiblity fir things I have no control over, and worry about them.
I touched the cold water line in bathroom sink while painting. Rust crumbled away, and water began dripping. Turned off, and will get parts to replace c and h valves and lines. When I showed engineer, he touched and now it's dripping again...floor wet, whoo boy
.
I scratched my head, got a container, figured I'll scour wet floor and use that water....no reason to worry. Will replace today, if get parts, and worker ever shows. It rained, and no one showed at all.😬
Getting used to that part, and looking for positives. Thank goodness plumbing getting fixed before aI go, kwim?
Sister coming today. I'm a tad worried about her tidying things so I can't find them. She also grabs any wash cloth and ruins them while cleaning, even when house filled with rags fir that. I can't complain, she's cleaning, but I have towels for guests that need to stay clean. Sometimes it's 2 steps forward, one step back, and half my time spent looking for things.
Just had phone conversation with friend that took my attention off today's missions. Noticed discomfort, and did a check... .was it old pattern, or warranted? A little of both, and now I'm back finishing list, calling workers, and going for parts and cash. Better not to let anxiety in at all, unless crisis at hand. This is all regular stuff.
The journey continues.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
Yeah, I unhooked the water supply line to the washer BEFORE I turned off the valve. Duh. Took another shower. Backed up and got pliers to help my hands and stubborn knobs... and all is done. No harm no foul.
When blame and frequent criticism are applied to every little thing you've done around the FOO, I think we just internalize it - and do it to ourselves unnecessarily. It's just a mental habit; those can be changed even if we may always have the tendency to fall back into it - because of neural patterns and associations. Usually when stressed out or exhausted or any other "weak moment". Just go back to working on it... it's all any of us can do.
As for your sister, if you simply ask her to use cleaning rags instead of wash cloths, please... and to put things back where she got them, in the interest of not making more work and using up time... I don't see that being offensive or implying or transferring the "blame".
It really sounds like things are moving right along for you on your trip Lighter. Don't forget to have FUN too.
lighter:
Thanks, Amber. I try to have fun with DD every day. Yesterday we got snapper and lobster from diver and his boat driving wife. 12 lobster and 8 snapper for $50.00 bc I had my renter handle transaction. Usually I wouldn't that good a deal.
I digress. Cleaning fish took up time I planned on swimming with DD. Missed opportunity. Also, she's painting a big blue green octopus on bathroom shower wall. Spending hours. It's marvelous! Really saves that area, and makes it special.
I leave tomorrowso I m intensely focused on doing all I can. I think Bora guard handled as of 15 minutes ago.
DD 's beautiful octopus on shower wall is splendid. Hope she has time to paint a mermaid.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
That's quite a deal on the seafood! Excellent. Cooking and eating qualify as fun too. ;)
It's turning out to be quite the busy week around here too. Details to follow in the farm thread.
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