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Book: Voicelessness and Emotional Survival: Notes from the therapy underground
Hopalong:
Dear Doc G,
The more I read/learn about AEDP therapy, the more I wonder whether it might have been an amazing fit for you. If I'm right, I wish even harder that it had been available to you during your training. Imagine a career when you didn't feel like the voice crying in the wilderness!
https://aedpinstitute.org/
Your book has arrived and is #1 on my reading list for 2019, although it may be January before I can dig in.
With love and gratitude,
Hops
Dr. Richard Grossman:
Hi Hops,
I spent some time on the AEDP website. While there’s some overlap, especially in the “attachment” area, I’m not sure that I would be a good fit with their approach either, and I suspect they would ultimately find me to be a “bomb dropper” as well (you’ll understand what I mean by this when you read the book). For example, in my view, it is the real relationship between patient and therapist that matters most. And, as a result, the "character" of the therapist is of utmost importance. I spend a lot of time “talking” about this in the book. But from what you write, it sounds like you know significantly more about AEDP’s approach, so you’ll know better than I whether I would “fit in” after you read my book. Let me know! I can’t wait to hear all of your thoughts and feelings!
And, as always, thank you for all the help and support you've provided to people on this board for 14 years! It's meant a lot to me...
Richard
Twoapenny:
Dr G, I have started reading your book. I like to read books twice; once to get the gist and a second time to think more deeply about the issues raised. I've only just started the first read but something has already jumped out at me so strongly. At the end of the first paragraph on page 19 (I won't put it into context because I don't want to spoil it for anyone else) you write:
"......because he was the doctor/expert, there were never any consequences, or, for that matter, anything patients could do or say because if they did, it would simply be seen as part of their problem"
That, for me, sums up every problem I have encountered with the public sector (and, indeed, many members of the public) regarding my son. Doctors, teachers, social workers, paper pushers, even receptionists and secretaries sometimes - they don't 'get' my son. No-one spends enough time with him to really understand the way his sensory issues affect him; to know that much of what he says is learnt phrases he's memorised from films or books and he doesn't actually understand what he's saying; to know that noise that wouldn't bother them at all is like someone drilling into his brain; how much every day activities tired him and make him unwell, how much time I spend on alternatives for him - acupuncture, osteopathy, homeopathy, vitaimin supplements, daily physiotherapy and goodness only knows how much else. That for him to do well at college I have to spend the other 144 hours of the week not doing too much so he doesn't get too tired to manage the 24 hours a week he's at college. No-one else sees that, but I do, and when I try to explain it to people - so that other people can look after him in a manner that his disability dictates - I'm over-ruled, because I'm too emotional, or I won't let go, or I've got mental health problems, or I'm not seeing it from their point of view, or anyone of goodness only knows how many other things I've had thrown at me over the years. It's enormously frustrating and it's what has broken me over the years - many, many years of not being heard. So yes, thank you so much, you've summed it up so well in just that sentence.
I'm really enjoying it and so much is resonating with me already but that part really summed things up for me so I wanted to mention that quickly now :) x
Dr. Richard Grossman:
Hi Tup,
I’m so glad the book is resonating! Yes, people in the field of psychological health have done much damage over time. That was the reason I thought it important to write about my psychology professors, Massachusetts General Hospital/Harvard Medical School boss and two therapists. I’m so sorry you and your son have experienced the same. At least we’re not alone.
Thank you for commenting. It’s funny, but two people have told me that they read the book twice and appreciated it even more the second time around! So, your second “take” will also be important!
Please let me know all of your thoughts!
Richard
OnlyMe:
Here I am! One would hope that now that both of my NPs are deceased, that the toxicity would end. Well, I find that a lifetime of having NPs (and no siblings) has left many more scars that are only beginning to surface. Amazing, somehow.... and so as I tried to wrap my head around yet another layer of healing, I remembered you, DrG, and all of this wonderfully supportive and understanding group, and so I logged in - and imagine how comforted I was to find that you are still here! Whew and Yippee. AND, that you, DrG have written a book! What a magical coincidence, I'd say! Perfect timing, every which way. Yes, I have now ordered it, and it will arrive around Jan 17th. Thanking you in advance! 8)
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