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Relationship/s

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Meh:
There is some taboo about being a "Gold Digger". I think it's very American thinking to be afraid of the label gold digger. People that I have talked to from Norway and Finland somehow can accept that money is important and think of it as a practical concern. I think this obsession with not seeming like a Gold Digger is an American culture thing.

lol I mean isn't calling someone a gold digger similar to slut shaming. Culturally men go after women all the time for looks but men don't get shamed for that. Anywho I know that's not the point of your post. I just react to the word gold digger because I think it's something messed up deep in the American Psyche. Why can women not be at least equally as shallow as guys are. Still females are supposed to be virtuous to their own detriment. I'm gonna stop rambling. Why is gold digging a social concern though, consenting adults make their own choices.

The gold diggers play came out like right before women got the right to vote it must have been interesting times.

lighter:
Once again, Hops, I want to mention the safe space of "making out like teenagers."

Whatever form that might take for you.... think about designating closeness, with rules in place, then see how things go with positive energy, and expectations on board.

Everyone keeps their skivvies on... yours will be comfy, and make you feel good.  Maybe jammies?  I think the important thing is to know where the lines are, and be comfortable with them... trust them.

Soft, pleasing touch is nice on backs of knees, and inside elbows.  Lovely almost kisses, brushing of lips, and forehead nuzzling are expressions of non sexual touch I feel are important, but often ignored.

Lighter

Hopalong:
Well, dang.
All is well but I spent the night in the hospital incapable of coherent speech, feeling very strange, plus puking. Ugh. It was scary, but I had friends plus M. rally  -- come here to feed and walk pooch, sit with me in the ER, etc. And M blew me away, and a lot of my resistance melted. He simply stubbornly stayed with me and wouldn't budge, half the night and half the next day (when he wasn't sorting out Pooch).

I slipped deeper in love again because he was so genuine. A close girlfriend said later, "I know he can be a knowitall but boy, what a heart." And she never says stuff like that about people.

It was most likely a TIA (transient ischemic attack) and I have a little white dot in my brain and new meds to take. But I wound up with one of the best neurologists in the country and he said, "Yes, go to Paris anyway."

So we are--tomorrow! I feel okay and am very happy about the trip. The silver lining was the revelation of what it felt like to have someone so at my back when I was scared, speaking garbledly, and vomiting. Didn't deter him one bit, and all of his behavior was just that I'm that important to him.

Hmmm. Maybe I'm going to be able to stop looking a gift horse in the mouth. He will still drive me crazy with personality stuff sometimes, but I just got a good luck at the character beneath all that.

I'll have a tablet with me so hope to keep up with you all this week. I know if you'd been here there would've been even more Amazons at the hospital!

love you guys,
Hops

Hopalong:
Lighter, thanks for that advice too.
I didn't respond directly because I'm old enough that I felt a tinge embarrassed reading it...but the truth is I've been told my whole round-heeled life that I'm a wonderful lover. I get the subtle and sensuous stuff.

What I will need (and will maybe get an occasional approximation of which right now is looking like plenty) is for sweet M to calm down enough to not overwhelm me with so much of his anxiety that I can't actually relax and do any of that stuff. Baby steps. We'll start simple, I think.

Lately it's all shot into the context of life and I'm feeling pretty grateful and calm.

Okay no more sex detail! (I know, I brought it up...my bad.).

:)
Hops

Hopalong:
Gboat,
That was an amazing post and I think you're right.
Culturally, Americans really amuse themselves shaming and being suspicious of women. Despite the fact that if most average women had equal economic power the whole question would be moot.

And if I were to "dig" for anything, it'd be a new bathroom and/or a safe spot in a merely decent old-age home. Not exactly baubles to keep a princess happy.

Thank you! You made me stop resonating so much to that.

Hugs
Hops

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