Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Relationship/s
sKePTiKal:
You'll be OK Hops. It's all about being really close to someone and showing empathy and compassion with touch. Start there and you'll discover it's a lot more than that. One thing naturally leading to another, as is usually the case. Those are really good feelings, IMO.
lighter:
I wrote "something that makes you feel powerful/at your best."
I certainly did not write "negligee."
::nod::.
Hopalong:
Got it!
:)
I really did perk up with the emotional strengthening you gave, ((((Light)))).
Thanks, hon.
Hops
lighter:
You really seem to connect with him, Hops. This is so different from your last relationship. I hope that's real for you. Every day.
Also, you can ask for what you want. You can steer this thing into your comfort zone... maybe?
Lighter
Hopalong:
Thanks much, Lighter.
I can. I do. I think I spent months trying to get across what I DON'T want that I couldn't focus well on the nuances. But thank god, he got it, and backed off the relentless repetitive pressure that was driving me nuts.
Somehow, I still believed it was his anxiety, nothing horrible. Just that, yet it was still driving me crazy. Then...he went into therapy. And almost overnight, he relaxed and cut out most of it, and then I told him another piece, and found that when I said directly (just as you're recommending) "I don't like that" -- he stopped doing whatever it was.
One small thing I should've spoken up about earlier was his habit of taking my wrist or hand unexpectedly when I was walking past him. I know he felt he was just reaching out to me, acting on impulse, but it made me feel trapped and jumpy. Sure enough, I opened my mouth and explained that...and he's never done it since.
Our communication is waaaay better and there's just a deeper connection now. I'm amazed but since HE relaxed (and I think therapy is the reason), I am relaxing more too. And that's gradually bringing me to what he wanted in the first place!
Men.
Love him but what a challenge it was...I had a lot of resistance to work through.
Hugs
Hops
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