Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Relationship/s
Hopalong:
--- Quote ---Someone wanting to hear your voice is lovely. Someone contacting you so often that you can't hear your own voice isn't. I do get and understand that completely.
--- End quote ---
Maybe YOU could be a sorta-T, Tupp!
Your responses to things are so succinct, compassionate and direct. Thank you.
Hey, they have online counseling these days....I'm sure there are sites that hire non-professionals who communicate well who can either correspond with someone or talk to them over Skype. Well, I'm not sure. I'm just making it up.
I would "counsel by email" any time. I read a few good advice columnists (Carolyn Hax at the Post started as a copyeditor, and so did Dear Prudence of Slate.com), most of whom are NOT psychologists...and always wished I could do that job.
Hugs
Hops
Hopalong:
Hi All,
I'll probably contradict myself by posting like mad over the next couple days, but just in case I don't, that'd mean I've yielded to reality and am trying to finalize my trip-prep in calm so I don't get all stressed before we leave Monday the 23rd. I may be able to post from Costa Rica but am generally hoping to go cold turkey, internet wise. I'll have access if I need it but hope I can stay more in the present moment and present place and busy absorbing whatever this new thing is going to be. (I'd better be open to learning all I can as I may be there twice a year.)
I'm in a much better place about the trip than I was. We'd worked out w/couple-T that I didn't want so much "checking in" contact withe M for a couple days, and the peace of that did me wonders!
Tonight we went to dinner and had a great time. M started when he got to the house after cuddles saying, "It was rough..." and I right away said, I understand, but those feelings are for you to work out in your own therapy. And he didn't argue! So I didn't let him make me responsible for soothing him and I think he actually got it. Big relief. Anyway, we really enjoyed being together.
Came back here and did early-Xmas gift exchange, since it'd be dumb to schlep presents to Central Am. He gave me a very thoughtful gift. A weighted blanket, which I'd once read for some folks with ADD and/or insomnia (mine's awful), can be very helpful. Perfect! I gave him a hinge-framed set of pix: one of us together at a restaurant I'd asked a server to take....and an epically cute one of him laughing with Pooch on his lap at a winery. I also gave him as a joke (unframed) a collage print of the same two, which for some reason came out with a fat bottom margin. On that space under the pic of we two I wrote with a Sharpie, "100%" and under the one of him with Pooch,"49%." (That referred to our lengthy negotiation about who owns my dog, which we settled on being I own her 51% and he 49%, and his half is the back half.) He loved both. I also gave him a DNA kit, which I figure should be interesting for a historian. He's interested!
It was affectionate, relaxed and fun. I do love the man.
Turns out if I set and hold the boundaries I need, I'm freer to love him when I'm with him. Duh. Will take practice but I'm determined to get more comfortable with it.
So I'll probably be posting again very soon but either way, will definitely be typing here again by mid-January, latest.
In the meantime, Happy New Year early, y'all. I love you and send each of you mucho hopes for your happiness.
Hugs
Hops
sKePTiKal:
Hugs Hops... I hope you both have a lovely time! Sounds like a great idea to get away from the cold for a little bit.
lighter:
Hops! I'm so glad you're feeling so relaxed around the trip. That's wonderful: )
Take pictures. I used to keep travel journals with local plants, wine labels, and details I'd forget if not jotting things down.
We'll miss you!
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
HA! While I'll miss Hops' warm unique way with words and compassion... I'm expecting a complete travelogue and romance story when she comes back!! LOL (not really, but I am nosy...)
An amazon slumber party kind of thing...
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