Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Relationship/s
Hopalong:
Thank you, ((((Tupp)))).
You have such a kind and wise imagination.
I loved this:
--- Quote ---someone who looks at what's around him and sees beauty and joy and a sense of connection
--- End quote ---
That's EXACTLY what I need. So, I wonder what you'd think of the rich powerful former federal prosecutor who's now wooing me (online) and eager to hop on the train and come meet me? He's raving about my use of language, intelligence, and "pretty face" in some pics. I do find him interesting, because I find all sorts of life stories fascinating. That's part of my problem. Fascinating and exciting can rapidly get confused with appropriate. And then I start imagining something working when there's truthfully very little in common. The whole opposites attract thing gets me going in wrong directions in relationships. I need to look for simpler guys with wiser minds and warmer hearts.
Time for me to throw up my hands because rich powerful dominant men seem to like my profile? Oy. My guess is I'll shortly be backing away from another millionaire.
I love your bohemian gentle soul vision for me, and I strongly doubt he's that. But I'm willing to meet, once, and see. It's both hilarious and confusing. Maybe they've all been thrown in my path so I can practice my boundaries. (May need them with him, I sense. I don't want to be wooed like crazy. I want to be known.)
And get this: he's super intelligent, owns a significant business (provides financial intelligence/analysis to the government). And he's from Central America and speaks Spanish (entirely fluent in English).
Some odd overlaps with M, there. Funny. I feel a lot calmer about M since I got some more distance the other day.
hugs
Hops
sKePTiKal:
It's hard to know the actual value of the contents of a book, by it's cover.
I kinda like your explanation of the kinds of guys being attracted to you; the one about a chance to practice boundaries. But give yourself SOME credit Hops... I think you're doing fine, given all the kinds of feelings (and then the danger of overthinking them) that happens when you're attracted to someone.
If someone had advertised that B could recite Shakespeare by memory, or speak Latin and several other languages - and have an excellent grasp of history, flora & fauna... well. That doesn't fit his "cover" at all.
I usually try to read the whole book, before giving a review. But there HAVE been some that I got a few chapters in and threw across the room because it was such dreck, executed poorly.
Maybe the analogy fits?
Hopalong:
It totally fits, Amber.
I'm shakily deciding how I feel about stepping into the library.
I'd feel better in the children's section at the moment,
with the Caldecotts and Newberries.
I never knew there could be something such as TOO smart. :)
hugs
Hops
sKePTiKal:
I totally get it Hops. But dating isn't commitment, and you can always put that book back on the shelf. No harm, no foul. And I don't think it would be too forward (or risky) if there are a few more dates after the first meet - to just put your wishes for a warm, caring simple partnership on the table.
I wouldn't be impressed if a guy presented all his material accomplishments & toys to me, in curriculae vitae fashion and was a single billionaire... unless there was a warm, open, and easy to talk to man under it all (ie, he listens to me as much as he talks). I think I got the anti-materialism bug before I was 21. Other stuff matters waaaaaaaayyyyyyy more to me.
And even during the first meeting, it's a good idea to check in with yourself (powder your nose??) and get a take on how you FEEL around him. If there's an attraction, move on to whether it's his looks or personality - or little things he does to put you at ease. It would get my attention, if he didn't talk much about why you should fall at his feet helpless within proximity of his magnificence - and instead let you talk first. Watch how he watches you; IF he watches you. Does he make direct eye contact? Does he interrupt with sensitive, related questions or does he simply make a comment?
I'm not saying guys who fit that profile are all Ns, or as insecure emotionally as little boys... I'd dearly love to hope that some guys in that income class are actually real people, with real depth. But my expectations aren't great, in the odds department. Personally, just from a merely practical point of view, I wish you'd look for retired contractors or highly skilled tradesmen who are ALSO compatible with life outlooks and educated. I think there are more of those who've learned the life lessons required to grow emotionally.
But I might have a bias that's sticking out from under my skirt..... LOLOLOLOL.
lighter:
What Amber said.
Yup yup yup.
Lighter
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