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Relationship/s

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lighter:
Whew, so glad the date went OK.

Re connecting to your church, in ways you enjoy, sounds very hopeful and satisfying for you.

You sound so good!

Yay.

Lighter

Hopalong:
Finally. I've found my new man.
(The one on the right.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PEVaIXwL6o&list=PLBmzY_egKQboqmInge55OpvGNMPXrJc4c&index=10

sKePTiKal:
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

I wish he didn't have shades on so I could see his eyes.

Hopalong:
Just check out Jacob's Ridge by searching that on YouTube.

There's one with a traumatized new rescue (white coat, sunburned nose) that he just sits with and talks to gently for about 20 minutes, telling him about the future being different from the past, and slowly this scared and depressed creature just heals while you're watching. It's the voice and how he touches him. Watching the animal's trust literally unfold in real time, and how he expresses it (head on shoulder, gradually relaxing) is really lovely.

Sigh. Oh, and the guy's vegan.

Had my meet with the woodworker last night and really enjoyed it. Fascinating person. Lived through a very rough/poor father-free childhood, has all sorts of issues (dyslexia, depression history, two divorces, heart surgery and cancer) and has wonderful talent...built the entire gorgeous interior of the restaurant. He owns his own business and property and lives in his shop -- just recently got indoor running water for it.

(We ordered inside but ate outdoors, lovely.) What I liked about him most is how open he is. He is open about himself and his struggles and completely unpretentious. I sensed a bit of resentment toward women in his profile but it may have been more frustration. Dunno if that's present or just scarring. He does a lot of work for ultra-rich people and undervalues himself severely (this is NOT $20/hour skill but his lack of self-worth; there's been lifetime shame/insecurity). He's 5' tall.

I think he'd be a good friend and also somebody I might be tempted to try to heal and rescue. If friendship helps, I'd be pleased to get to know him. I'm not drawn in other ways so far but really admired him for multiple reasons (his talent and his mature openness about himself and his life). And I told him so.

This is a healthy thing to do, is all. I don't think he and I are quite on the same page about masks. He said oh yes, I've got my mask right here (in the car) but didn't wear it when we were waiting to order inside the place, or afterward (I hadda go pee before I left and saw him, maskless, settling in for anothe beer at the bar). What with friend across the street so ill and the odd inconsistency, I am not sure he fully grasps the reality of microscopic particles and how instant infection can be.

Anyway, I'll definitely visit his shop sometime. He's making me a wooden spoon and brought the wood to show me. (I hinted.)

hugs
Hops

sKePTiKal:
Hmmmm. Sounds promising. Even with certain things noted.

I get the impression, with his dedication to his craft, that he spends - and prefers to spend - a lot of time alone. Just being in his own "zone" and doing what he's good at. A great many women have issues about that; the ones with dependency/control issues anyway. He's probably sensitive to criticism that he's not attentive enough to their needs, ya know? It might be a little awkward figuring out to spend time together if you both require a larger than average amount of solo space & time -- but it might also be surprisingly joyful to find out it IS possible.

He's managed to survive this long on his own. Being "rescued" might not be very welcome. Then, there's that male pride thing too. Being open about his difficulties may be the strategy he's chosen to scare off anyone who isn't going to be authentic themselves. And perhaps, he'd just like to be acknowledged for how far he's come now from the past?

Very few relationships are begun on the first meeting. Even with me & B - we both know that kind of physical attraction is no solid basis for relationship. That started AFTER; I'd say we gave it serious thought that first year of separation and kept paying attention to each other... and how we felt about what we observed, and saw. There was a long "wait & see" period before even the idea of commitment was taken seriously.

If you do see him again, I'd try an experiment. Tell him how you feel about masks and why. See if he listens; and actually hears you without trying to change your mind. That kind of behavior is important to you in all your relationships - just differing degrees, depending on relationship. Take the risk, experiment, roll the dice... while it's early days, to find out more about him.

He sounds kinda close to the "type" of guy in the rescue farm. Did he just talk about himself without asking about you, waiting for you to make a "presentation"? Or did he take a genuine interest in your writing and how you spend your days?

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