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Relationship/s

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sKePTiKal:
I think Lighter meant Cullodden, Hops.
I'll let her explain LARPing; it's some kind of dress-up or role play thing. (I don't get out much, LOL).

lighter:
LARPING is Live Action Role Playing and I was pictuing men running around on a field of imagined battle.

 Some in Kilts. 

The reality is the opposite of LARPing.

Lighter

Hopalong:
My British poet friend was very helpful when she called today and I told her about the Scot.

Scottish men, like quite a few English men too, she said (half her family's Scottish) tend to be careful and guarded at first, and not romantic and feets-off-sweeping or that sort of thing. They take their time but once they DO decide about you (if it's a Yes) then they are the kind of friend/whatever you can count on forever. Or something like that.

It made a lot of sense. And I liked hearing this.

So far, we (me and Scot) both acknowledged we really enjoyed our meet and that he'd get in touch when ready (I offered that). So he feels no pressure and I'm leading with patience because There Is No Rush. No floods of verbiage. Good!

I'm just really pleased I met him. Hope he's motivated and/or ready enough to continue seeing me, but I could also tell that he is still deeply rocked by the loss of his wife whom he loved and shared his life with for 45 years. Must've been awful. They were here visiting his son, happy tourists, and she fell to a sudden aneurism. Boom. Gone. He just said "it was awful" and that it had taken him many months to even feel "in compos mentis" again. My heart went out to him. He had almost never lived alone so he's been through fire in the last several years.

And tomorrow I meet yet a different man. Likewise light approach and friendly, I think. And this is good.

hugs
Hops

Phyll:
You all are too funny!  I do not know what larping, culloden, or the battle of Flodden mean.  I am enjoying hearing about your dates Hops.  I admire your courage and discernment in this dating process.  It sounds hopeful and fun.  I would definitely let the pooch weigh in... 

sKePTiKal:
Hops, I'll just say this about your Scot friend... 5 years post-Mike, there are still residual echoes of the old stuff. It's not debilitating; I do have to fight to maintain the space to continue letting it go (thanks Hol; stuffing my life full of "new" never worked before, why should it work now?) And I notice all kinds of tiny things coming up - still - interacting with B that require the unstructured, unfilled time to just "feel" my way through.

Maybe just feeling my way through to what is "me"... ya know? Because though no doubt your friend's experience & mine are different, I never lived alone before Mike died either. I was always "combined" in a relationship, making those compromises, etc that one does in relationship. I don't think I'm all that solid in "who I am" yet... but I am getting there.

So, give this new guy his time & space to deal with those things, his way. I like your new dating strategy overall. I think it's perfectly tailored to what your real needs are. It honors your strength & independence & curiosity about the world & people. Happy "shopping"!  ;)

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