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Meh:
Almost 3 AM tired but laying awake in bed.

lighter:
Brain doc says wearing blue blocker eyeglasses 2 hours before bedtime helps with light and electronic use messing up sleep patterns.

Sleeping in a room without electronics is better.

Putting our phones far away from us, when we sleep.

Melatonin... just a little.... can help, and did help my oldest dd for years.

Sometimes I take a Benadryl or two.

Writing out my goals, and worries before bed, helps me calm down.  I think my brain works on those things while I sleep sometimes.

I honestly fall asleep pretty easily when I have Youtube videos playing.  That didn't used to be the case, but it is now.  I watch funny things, not heavy sad things. 

What do you do when you have trouble sleeping, G?

Lighter

Meh:
Thanks for the tips Lighter. It's unusual for me to have trouble sleeping like this, I do sleep I just end up taking a long nap later in the day but it messes up my schedule. It's just I've put myself under a lot of pressure all of a sudden, I hope its "positive stress". Stress nonetheless.

Today I was noticing more just my emotional ups and downs. Not entirely sure what that is about or where it comes from. I think it's important, because I will get on a down note and then make decisions while I am on a down note. Recently I've more just decided to wait it out but keep momentum.

Twoapenny:
Oh G, it does sound like a lot of stress to deal with, so many things to think about and so many unknowns to try to factor in.  It's a shame it's so time pressured, is that because it's tied in with an out of work scheme type thing?  It's frustrating when their aim is to just get you signed up (so they can sign you off, presumably) whilst your aim is to make the most of it and give yourself a good chance in the future.  I hope there is a course that just kind of ticks your boxes and is accessible to you as well.  Working for a museum or community arts programme sounds lush :)  I hope there is something there that ticks all the right boxes for you xx

sKePTiKal:
Well, I think the emotional ups/downs are par for the course when you're seriously trying to navigate something new to you that can have such an impact on your life.

You said something that gave me an idea - talking about the difference between the advisors' wish to get you signed up for SOMETHING. Anything. They know how easy it is, to change your mind about programs, once you're going to classes.

You instead, want some reassurance that you're going to enjoy the school experience and content of the classes; because you are making the leap to thinking that will mean you'll like working in that kind of area. You already know how much is riding on your decision for you personally - those intangible things. That's good to know. And maybe you should try actually listing those kinds of things that you hope for in the process of education and graduation and finding a new job. Maybe that will clarify things for you. Those kinds of things are addressed SLIGHTLY more a 4 yr school. (It's still pretty disingenuous.) Thing is, you often don't know if you'll be interested in something or like it until you TRY IT. And the opposite is sometimes also true: you find out later that this thing you were so enamored with has some aspect of it, you absolutely detest. LOL. Life; it ain't for the shy or hesitant it seems, a lot of times.

But community colleges and even some Uni's are now focusing more on whether they can find you a program of study where actual jobs exist. And trying to match people up with where the need is. That is another way of approaching your decision. And at some point, you're just going to have to say - well, I've done the due diligence and research... and this is my best guess and strongest inclination RIGHT NOW. And just do it.

Because you're not locked into that; you can change programs or major later. No harm, no foul. No judgement either. It happens a LOT.

ETA: once you are a "student in good standing" - all schools have a mega-amount of support available to you, and financial aid options open up some then, too. Check out work-study programs. You're already on campus and generally speaking your work hours will be adjusted around your class schedule. Grants are good things, but read the fine print. Sometimes they won't cover living expenses. Loans are really problematic these days - but still exist as a last resort to get you to the goal.

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