Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Meandering
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Garbanzo on May 13, 2019, 12:28:22 AM ---Here is a different film by same lady Niki lindroth von bahr this one has some English sub titles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7KIsGq3XVw
This one only French unless you pull it up on Amazon w/ Prime and there is a version with English subs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMB4ZJ4Xqjo
https://www.amazon.com/Burden-Niki-Lindroth-von-Bahr/dp/B07BHZTSS3/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=the+burden+swedish&qid=1557721854&s=gateway&sr=8-2
--- End quote ---
Thanks, G, I'll have a watch of that later! I like watching things that are a bit different; there's so much on TV now that it's easy to fall into watching the same things over and over because wading through seeing what else is about takes so much time! Was TV a lot more limited in the States years ago? We only had three channels when I was a kid and they only broadcast in the evening, it all finished by midnight usually - I think one channel used to show old 50s B movies later than that? You used to have to move the indoor aerial about to get a good picture; my dad used to make me and my sister take turns standing on a chair holding the aerial up so he could watch the football results :) Lol x
Meh:
Just waking up and I barely want to put my coffee down long enough to type. There is something in the mailbox but I'm not ready to go get it yet. While drinking my coffee the passing thought came to me about CBD oil or something, I don't use these products so I don't know a lot about it. I have a feeling it wouldn't work well for me. It's just that I am tired of chronic anxiety it almost defines my personality. It occurs to me what if I could just be relaxed and calm and at ease and less engaged with irritating things. I'm just going to write out something here not sure what. What if what I am doing is thoughtful downtime. I get the image in my mind of a subterranean mole that spends it's days going up above ground to do required non-sense but only really feels like a mole when it's back in it's subterranean earth home again.
I'm not even sure if I feel like writing I sort of do but I sort of don't. Blah. I'm going to listen to some Tibetan singing bowl music LOL and stare at my screen. Wordy music can only distract me at the moment. My apartment is a mess, I tore it apart looking for a hat that I made but I never could find it and now everything looks like a rototiller has been here. It's bothering me. I will have to deal with it.
So in all this downtime I have at the moment I have been reading a bit about hormone imbalance. I never knew much about it before. My face skin has been so messed up, sensitive, red inflammation, rough.
I was reading that hormones are connected with cortisone, inflammation, allergy, the thyroid gland, MOOD, ANXIETY. Sleep headaches, energy levels aka motivation get up and go.
I ordered some progesterone and I think it is helping my skin. I don't want to get too crazy thinking this is going to FIX my skin issue. The dermatologist wanted to do laser treatment and really I thought that just touches on a symptom not the cause.
When I had insurance I really should have demanded a hormone level test, I didn't even know they could test for such a thing I'm so ignorant. I also should have demanded a thyroid test. I didn't think of doing this.
I felt something was off all I could think of was to ask for a cholesterol check and diabetes check. The cholesterol is TOO high even though I only weigh about 130.
What is hitting me is that I have been ignoring my health and wellbeing for so long. I have some tendancy to want to blame it on my job. i probably can't 100% do that. But commute time and working full time instead of working from home or having my own schedule does impact the way we live. My job was emotionally stressfull to me. I don't miss talking to angry people. Please god let my next job not be about talking to angry people 40 hours a week.
Hopalong:
AMEN! I can't imagine the chronic stress (for an introvert, especially) of talking to angry people All Week Long.
I love that you're doing Thoughtful Downtime. I love everything that implies. That is freaking awesome, Boat.
Wow. You did some kind of dive in that time that brought you up to the surface again with a lot of thinking, a lot of insight, and a lot of focus.
BRAVO.
And, wowsers!
xxoo
Hops
Meh:
Yeppers. Endocrine system so entangled with everything else. Even coffee messes it up depending on what race a person is it either lowers or elevates estrogen making a person estrogen dominant and other hormones lower.
https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/01/27/caffeine-alters-estrogen-levels-in-younger-women/
Twoapenny:
I think it's very, very easy to neglect our health when we're working hard to just get through the day, G. I don't know what your health system is like in the States, but in the UK there's very little focus on causes of health problems and natural ways people can help themselves through diet, supplements, sounds (music therapy and so on) and all the other things that are out there. So it's difficult to wade through information and to try to figure out what might help, especially when dealing with a job that must have been very draining emotionally.
For what it's worth I am finding acupuncture helpful for my hormonal problems (heading into menopause and was experiencing a chronic drop in mood from Day 14 of my cycle until my period ended). I'm certainly not cured but I'm on Day 17 and I feel human. Normally I would be on my knees by now so it seems to be helping. I did find the coffee triggers hot flushes in me so I've cut right down on that and that's helped. It's difficult because so many things 'might' help and it's hard work trying stuff out!
With regards CBD oil, I take three drops in the morning and then vape the oil through the day ( the oil that you take orally and the oil that you vape are different). I also have CBD lollies that I can suck on if vaping isn't appropriate. I am finding it helps with my anxiety. The advice I was given is that you should start with three drops of the lowest strength and slowly build up to taking more, to see the effect it has. It can create a slight worsening of problems initially; that is apparently a good sign that it's helping and you're on the right path with it. It has been a lot of trial and error with me and it is expensive; I am very lucky that we have a really good hemp shop in town and the guy that runs it is not only an expert but he really passionately believes in helping people out rather than making huge profits out of them, so he'll recommend the product he thinks helps best rather than the one he can mark up the highest. I know he imports from the States, I think Charlotte's Web is a good brand? So it might help - but again, it's only a might!
I love Tibetan singing bowls :) Bizarrely, I also find psy trance really relaxing, despite the fact it can be quite frantic. I don't know if it's because it reminds me of happier days or if it just does something to my mind but I am a big fan of music without words :)
With the messy apartment, have you tried just doing ten minutes at a time? I find that helps me with a big, overwhelming project - ten minutes of picking things up (it's amazing how much you can get done in ten minutes). I think you're doing an amazing job of hanging on in there with all that's been going on, G. And I hope the hat turns up! xx
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