Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Yard
lighter:
I haven't been in the front yard all summer.....maybe twice, but in the rain or as rain ended. I'm avoiding neighbors, still, I realize.
It's time to decide how things will go. I chatted with retired nurse and it's clear Yelly Guy has been endearing himself with acts of service in the yard. He must have whined about me, bc she enunciated "it's good for BOTH of us" meaning me AND her.
This was over his weed eating on either side of our shared drainage ditch....looks like a creek. I usually do it. I've been away, busy not caring. I think he weed eats our property line to the street, which is mostly moss.....looks pretty good. I feel almost nothing about it either way.
I'm posting about it, bc of the conversation with retired nurse AND a text YG sent...
"Not expecting a response
Just wanted to say hi."
He sent a picture if neighbors cat sitting under my truck last week. I didn't respond.
I realized tonight WHY I don't respond. Fuk off us all I feel....I have nothing polite for him. Nothing. No energy to force out a response making "nice.". Maybe I'm done making nice. Without malice. Just.....done.
At the same time..... reptilian brain knows bruised male ego isn't always stable or rational. Better to ignore him and not waste space in my brain, ime.
I'm extremely resistant to being forced into contact with icky people, I realize.
About the trail still being shut down:
A neighbor I don't know posted on neighborhood message board asking for update, complaining signs still up....wanted to know if property was public....when would trail reopen.
The doc answered her immediately....
The property was private. The owner had made a nice trail so property wouldn't be damaged. The high traffic damaged the tail. Owner Lighter was figuring out what she'd do and doc expressed gratitude for having had access in the past.
Doc very smart lady.
I've seen people on the trail, despite the signs twice. Younger neighbors who have access through their parent's back yard 2 doors down and a father and son on bikes I've never seen before. Not sure what they're thinking....saw them read the signs then ignore.
Doesn't make me want to hurry up and work myself hard to fix and open trail back up.
I'm tempted to have the two families I like help work on the trail then allow only them to use it.
Other people will want to follow them if they see anyone using it.
I'm really enjoying the privacy and quiet closing the trail creates.
Doing nothing is a choice too.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
(((((((((((((Lighter)))))))))))))))))) I'm very much at the same stage as you with being done with being 'nice' - largely because I feel there are just too many people who take advantage of 'nice' - and I end up being put upon, having unwelcome attention/conversations, having to deal with situations I didn't create because someone took 'nice' to mean pushover, no boundaries, her needs don't matter, I can have my needs met and so on. I'm not going out of my way to be rude to people, far from it, but I do feel very much that I want interactions with people that matter to me and that I get something out of as well. Polite to others, yep I can do that, but 'nice' I am pretty much over. I guess you're at a similar point to that. Yelly Guy sounds very childlike with his attention seeking. Very odd.
Is the trail a public footpath that you must reopen or was it you kindly making it accessible for others? I'm hoping there is a way forward that doesn't cause you stress, whatever it might be. I watched a programme here yesterday about a lady who has a public footpath that runs through the middle of her land and she was talking about the damage people do because they don't stick to the path and go wandering all round her fields, scaring her animals, leaving picnic rubbish around, one family were having a barbeque in what is essentially her garden! I don't understand some people's mindsets, truly. The nurse and the doc sound like good people to have around, though.
Hopalong:
Just two thoughts, unsolicited advice both:
1- I'd let the trail go back to nature
2 - I would block YG's number from your cell (thought you said you had no text relationship with him long since ... why receive, even if you don't respond? Why expose yourself to his unsolicited texts? Why enable manipulation?...)
Sorry about the trail. Good deeds....
Hops
lighter:
It's funny how our paths Trek down similar paths, ((Tupp.)) I'm trying to dial in some middle trail....between fok off and making nice automatically.
Something emotionally removed and cool.....zero heat or flash of chemistry.
Hops:
The mowing and texts are designed to elicit a response from me. The same with yg chatting up nurse neighbor. I'm considering telling her the truth, to end that manipulation.
As for blocking his texts..... that's a response, Hops. I won't be shoved into any response by YG's actions or words.
There's a right way to deal with this, for me and I honestly can't see it clearly. Yet. I will.
BTW, this was so far down my list it didn't get brought up at T's office.
I lock my doors. Remind the girls when they don't lock up. Gently remind them how difficult it would be to have a mentally unstable person try doors in the neighborhood and find ours unlocked.
I have every confidence we'd overcome, but it would sure be unfortunate if we had to. Then I reminded DD20 eyes and throat shots, target selection and protecting one's computer.
I hope she understands the ounce of prevention motto, esp as she's home alone quite a bit. I hope her brain understands it's ok to hurt aggressors her brain identifies as friend/neighbor. I know mine does, but it's unknown till you're in that moment.
Lighter
lighter:
Baby bluejays are learning how to navigate the trees. They fly into my potted hydrangeas on front porch then to trees then to fp railing then to stick in gutters. I need to clean out my gutters.
Tadpoles don't know what to do with frozen spinach, bc I haven't raised them up on it,vI guess. I really enjoyed watching their little coiled bellies full of bright green food flash when they surfaced, but they aren't full if green this time.
Lighter
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