Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Yard
lighter:
I decided to line the property line between the nurse and my yard with fairly large rocks and that happened about the time the nurse came home from work. We walked the property line, chatted about it and made sure she was happy with it. She complained about the thick, perfect moss left on her side of the line and I ignored her.
At a point, she wanted me to help her move some of her too high piled leaves OUT of her leaf island and INTO my new leaf areas, but I was going up on the roof and had lots of leaf blowing of my own to do before the rain started. it was already spitting and the roof is steep steep steep so..... I went to my job and left Nurse gobsmacked and heading to her lawnmower to chop up some of the leaves in the circle. When I got off the roof I noticed she'd done JUST her side of the circle, which seemed a bit childish. I usually do the entire thing myself. Whatever.
Another thing the nurse said was "Your sister is a hard worker and knows how to FINISH things she starts." I was like.... uh huh, she does.
Then she said it again, with more emphasis.... like I sould take offense and I pictured my sister purchasing mice to mouse people's basements who tick her off. My sister does commit and finish what she starts, particularly when someone is dicking with her. Me? Tick me off and I'll bring you the rocks you ask for and bring you food when you're sick.
Anyhoo, nurse actually met adult Lighter today and she was obviously not pleased AND she was unhinged enough she was letting the things she and Yelly Guy gossip about seep out.... she just couldn't help it.
As I walked to start my roof gutters, nurse said... "Maybe the wind will blow some of those leavs off yur roof."
I said i was going to handle them and she said.... :Better get started." Like I needed her to order me around.
It's clear... she's squarely in Yelly Guy's corner and I don't much have to worry about it, bc I just made sure I don't have to spend much time in my front yard anymore. She can handle her side, with YG's help, and that's fine with me.
I did talk to Cowboy about this today... before I made my decision. His advice was..... "YG will find someone else to bug....this will pas. When is see him in the street or near my yard, I just walk away and go to my proch and you have a porch..it's not fair, but you distance yourself and he'll get tired of helping the nurse without any pay off."
OK. And so the rocks and leaves happened.
Oh oh! I did my roof without any weakness or problems..... and it's a very steep roof. I have my groove back, baby! Feeling strong and had a lot of energy since the cold passed. To be clear, I was uber careful, esp at first while I figured out where I was with ability and strength. Had to change shoes then it was off to the races...... I'm so pleased!
We have 100% rain tonight and tomorrow, so will work inside tomorrow. The rain should wet down the leaves on the property line and cement them in place. THAT was a priority. I'll see how the water is running in the downpour..... and tweek anything needs it.
Lighter
lighter:
SO, the nurse has dropped that cloying sweet way of speaking, so different from her usualy no nonsense cadence I've missed.
I don't know if my demeanor is reason for the change OR if Yelly Guy outed himself as a liar or said something a bridge too far about me. Whatever it was..... I hope it lasts.
YG hasn't been around... and neither has his wife. Maybe it's a co inky dink.
Does it matter? Not really.
I saw my moss friend yesterday and had such a lovely visit. Her home is so serene.....the fireplace was going...... everything was in it's place. There's such serenity when it's just us. Don't get me wrong..... I like her husband. I think she loves him...in the way a traumatized child raised in an alcoholic home can love a man who refuses to slow down or stop drinking, even as his wife begs and explains she feels worthless when he refuses. And he does refuse. Has always refused.
He's not so kind to her behind closed doors...... and now her sister knows this after living with them for 2 months. The cat's out of the bag and she's not sure what to do about it, if anything. I encouraged her to continue with the Al Anon meetings without judgment, at least till she finds some clarity. She's only attended 2 meetings.
Boundaries are new to her. Enforcing them seems beyond her reach. For now. Will just have to see.
But our visit, the just us stuff, was lovely. Maybe there's a way to find some emotional and physical distance from her husband's drinking....without changing her marital situation. Maybe. She's Feeling trapped.... her kids tell her they don't want to hear about it anymore.... she feels voiceless in her family.
She's also feeling a bit wrinkly around her younger, never been kissed by the sun sister. I told her I love the sun and much prefer it's company to sitting indoors my entire life. I wouldn't trade it for a smoother face,but then...... my inner crone beckons and assures me the best is yet to come.
I believe her.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
Cheers to cronehood Lighter! It does have it's freedom and joys.
lighter:
I've been clearing branches and sticks out 8f the yard, fully expecting to enjoy the wirk, movement and sunshine.
I'm a little shocked with the rumination over the Yelly neighbor and retired nurse anything up to him after I shared his wildly innapropriate behavior.
And I go back and forth...upset with YG then the nurse and there's nothing I can do about it without widening the circle of suffering.
But then, it's pretty much just me suffering right now and I've managed to see more choices and, finally, compassion for retired nurse.
I was kicking rocks and eating bologna samuches till about 2 hours ago....abd compassion fell like a wet blanket on my resentment and anger, which is a relief.
I process this with the Cowboy, who wants to call the magistrate Court and ask for a TRO. At first he wanted me to call, while leaving him and cowgirl out if it, but I already know where that leads.
Cowboy saying YG still seeking out Cowgirl in the forest.....Cowboy knows sure YG is stalking me and his wife.
He can make that call, esp since YG hasn't spoken to me recently. If we pass, I growl and he runs fast by me. I'm so past pretending.....well to the point of resolving my feelings and how I'll handle things, one way or the other.
I don't think YG's wife needs protection from what her husband IS. She knows. She might be relieved to hear the truth and put a stop to his pressing in where he's been asked to stay far away.
Cowboy knows she'd put YG husband in his place....all the money is her family money.
My T will want to process all the energy out of this situation for me......then hope I can let it all go.....find enjoyment in my yard again and maybe have one compassionate chat with Retired Nurse, to clarify and understand without expectation.
The thing is.....Im done sucking it up so everyone is comfy. That's going to change. I can't quite see how yet, but I will.
Lighter
lighter:
I looked out the front window early this morning and saw 2 police cars at the Cowboy house. I also saw two little grandchildren of my actual nextdoor neighbor dressed like policemen and drving their little electric police cars around the circle. I had to rub my eyes and make sure what I was looking at.
I went to feed the pug and saw 2 police uniforms in my backyard, realized it was the kids running from the barking pug and chased the kids into my drive, trying to get them back to the backyard to pet the pug BUT the pug ran into the street and almost got to the Cowboy's house... she would have too, if she wasn't so hungry. The Cowboys were in the driveway with the cops.....voices were raised a bit, but not bad.
I fed the pug hen went to let the boys pet the pug on leash. I was in their driveway with their exhausted looking grandparents when the Cowgirl looked over and saw us looking her way..... I'm sure it looked like we'd set up lawn chairs to watch the police action, but really it was the preschooler twins in their cop cars and not them.
I have such terrible luck with this kind of thing.
Anyway, I've released that discomfort. The Cowboy got into an Uber while carrying a little black briefcase. I just saw a fire truck go by in the direction of Cowboy's office... I'm at the grocery store now.
The Cowgirl texted me to keep my head down, things were "going to get ungly."
I hope she's secured the Cowboy's guns... I hope he didn't have one in his case. Anothr siren just went by.
Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Let's hope.
Lighter
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version