Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Yard
lighter:
I should have put..." rhetorical" question, Hops. Any time I ask these kinds of questions on the board.... I ask without expectation.
labeling downtime as "paralysis" worries me, for us all,bc it's nonhelpful judgment, IME. My true expectation was for you to find something useful from the time you spent in stillness.
I don't know about M asking for updates and lists of things you've done or not done on a daily basis. That sounds very judgy.... very loaded with expectations. It honestly makes my stomach buzz and flip with anxiety to think about it.
My heart wants M to care about your heart... how it feels.... and to express compassion without expectation. To accept you where you are KNOWING you'll figure it out, bc he trusts and believes in you.
I believe in you, ((Hops.))
Hopalong:
No worries, Lighter.
It's just a very very sensitive deep issue with shame-bombs buried along the path, so I'm very tender about how and when I speak of it. You know when I am, I'll let it all rip right here!
Ja, M is doing his growing too, which is likewise extreeeeemely gradual (and perhaps from a more-handicapped starting point). I'm holding us both pretty gently right now, as I've pushed him hard the last two weeks in T. I think we're generally still pretty good and only tiiiiiiiime (and lots of patience) will tell.
hugs
Hops
Hopalong:
[replying to Tupp from one of the virus threads]
I'd love to see that tree, Tupp! Is it out front or out back? Do you know what sort of tree it is?
I can't/won't do birdseed until the bears go back to bed in late fall (hopefully, since global warming is making the region all-season for some bears). So I've just got two baths.
The one out front under my dogwood tree I made from an old cement pedestal (the bath itself cracked), atop which I have parked a big blue-and-cream casserole dish I inherited that has no lid. Looks cute.
On the side patio in the hosta bed it's a shallow big glazed plant saucer atop another simple pedestal (can't remember where I got that one). If I come up with another DIY suitable "bath" I'd put it out back by the mini-patio and veggie beds.
Both the existing ones are straight sight-line for windows opposite either my front room sofa by the big window, or my back room sofa.
There's nothing more fun, ime, than watching a bird just go nuts in a birdbath.
M had a yard adventure of his own yesterday. Very large black snake with a food-bump in its belly got stuck in the deer netting M had put around his baby fig trees. A murder of crows was screeching away at it from the trees. M heroically (hates snakes) snipped netting away, got thumped by the snake (not bitten) while the crows screamed and finally tossed the snake on a stick into his woods to sleep off its dinner.
You will be amazed to hear that M's hyperbole and exaggeration skills were employed to the max: The crows were snapping at my butt! They were going nuts! And the damn snake got me! Must've been EIGHT feet long! It was intense!
For once, I got a kick out of his drama. (Until he repeated the whole story.) LOL.
hugs
Hops
Hopalong:
Where Covid-19 risk intersects with yard:
Through early fall visiting outdoors will be fine. For after it gets cold though (maybe I should get it now), I'm thinking of a patio propane heater...whatever would be effective enough to allow outdoors visits! A firepit's too big. Patio's long enough for about 4 people to sit eight feet apart, but narrow. House and tall fence block wind on two sides so the patio might adapt to some cozy distance-chats even then. Hope so.
Must hit Amazon and find out the sticker shock.
hugs
Hops
Hopalong:
Fairly expensive but a bit of maintenance and I think I should just accept the winter months and be grateful I can visit M and vice versa.
Sigh.
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