Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Reciprocal Relationships with Others and Ourselves
Hopalong:
Awwww, (((((((((((Tupp))))))))).
I just feel joy for you all over.
I'm so GLAD.
Huge hugs,
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: CB123 on July 31, 2019, 11:03:55 PM ---Tupp,
I really, really enjoyed hearing about that group. That seems so much better (to me) than just a coffee and chat group. I feel energized with groups of people that are gathering for a particular purpose, so I'm very enthusiastic for you! Isn't it funny how when you decide you arent going to continue along trying to build relationships with people who are responsive, and then almost right away this door opens up? I wonder what that is, but I 've seen it before.
Sleep is non-negotiable for me. I can imagine you feel like a million bucks if you don't normally sleep til 7. Lack of sleep can undo my day faster than anything else. Coffee only helps so much.
CB
--- End quote ---
CB, I'm exactly the same, I can and will do chit chat in certain situations - at the bus stop, sitting in a cafe, waiting at the doctor's surgery - but to specifically carve time out of my day to sit for two hours listening to people talk about nothing that interests me is just not on my list of things to do! I've been to many groups in the past where I've left feeling exhausted. People need to talk and offload, I get that (and I am lucky that I have you guys to do that with) but other people (like me!) need to do more than listen to tales of woe. I just find it tiring. So yes, it's been a great find, they're very proactive and also very funny (I love funny women! I think they're great). One is a very natural story teller and she had the whole group in stiches yesterday with tales of her daughter's antics many years ago. I come out of there feeling good and I love the fact that they're fighting for change and refusing to sit back and do nothing - I find other people's apathy really draining so it's great to be around that productive energy. Really lucky to have found them. And yes, sleeping in a proper bed! Makes such a difference, my back is nowhere near as sore as usual and coffee does only take you so far :) xx
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on July 31, 2019, 03:03:05 PM ---
--- Quote from: Twoapenny on July 31, 2019, 11:16:06 AM ---Well guys, great news! Today has been amazing :) Whoo hoo!
New bed is incredible - my alarm woke me at 7am this morning which is the latest I've slept since we moved here. Sooooo comfortable (the cat thinks so, too). My back is nowhere near as sore as usual and I was so comfy I would have gone back to sleep if I hadn't had to get up :)
I'm so happy to read this, Tupp! Nice bedding, a decent mattress, and kitty tucked in for comfort. Sounds like bed time's improved a good deal. That's wonderful: ) Good sleep is so important.
Bought a dress and a couple of nice tops in the charity shop, very cheap, pretty and summery. Even looked at heels and hats - didn't buy any but thought maybe a bit further down the line might go for hats to ring the changes as I don't have much hair and might even venture into wearing heels every now and again (not sure if I could walk in them now but might have a go).At our charity shop I often find little kitten heel shoes.... often in new condition. Having a nude pair, a black pair, a red pair, and a blue pair are options to consider. Just t TINY heel. I think our clothes absolutely influence the way we feel, sometimes more than others. A pretty summer dress, on hot days, feels different than our same old run around clothes, IME, and I swear feeling better radiates off us like the sun... people can see and feel that too, IME.
The nice mum group - apart from being so nice and welcoming they are setting up formally as a charity and have ideas for various ways to help and support local families. All very informal, low key and non-snobby. Without meaning to sound unkind or ungrateful, I've found in the past that some of the people that run groups aren't always very nice to low income families or if there's a family with a relative in prison or something like that. This group is very different, very down to earth and understand that life is tough and we deal with it as best we can. Really like them. You might find some of your people, Tupp. You never know when they'll come along.
They've asked me to be more involved and we had a team meeting today, at which I offered to be Secretary (they need three roles filled to satisfy the Charity Commission requirements). I explained that I've never done it before but was happy to have a go; one of the guys who's helping ot set it up has worked for charities for years so knows how everything works so is going to talk me through the process and I can send stuff to him to check before it's sent out. Very excited and it's so nice to be part of a group for a change, instead of ploughing through things on my own. They've offered to send me on a Safeguarding course, as well as a First Aid one so I've said yes to both. I'm trying to take opportunities as they come now. I've been scared for years about sticking my head out anywhere in case my mum causes problems but I need to move forward so I've said yes. Absolutely in agreement here. Time to come out, embrace the sun, and dance, Tupp. I have explained to the lady running the group about my mum just in case the many false allegations in my past might cause a problem, or if my mum gets wind that I'm involved and starts phoning social services again, but the lady was fine with it, said various members have got various problems in their background and it's all good. And it is all good :) You did what you could do, proactively. Now it's time to put your mum away, and turn to what's in front of you now.
So a nice day, finally! I don't feel as tired, stressed, run down or demoralised. Son had a nice day at college and is now upstairs. I'm going to get the dinner ready and then do some yoga as I slept too late to get any done before we left this morning! Things are good :) xx Wow, that's a terrific update, Tupp. You're keeping self care in place, and I think sleeping in wasn't a mistake. I think extra sleep was a good thing. You're building more of what you want for tomorrow, seems to me.
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Lighter, it was all good news but today I've had a big emotional crash and all the anxiety and fear has resurfaced. I think it must be that you take a step forward and all the old fear reflexes kick back in. I didn't sleep well, couldn't stop thinking about my mum, have been ruminating all day about unsupportive friends (you have amazing friends in your life, Tup! Focus on them and not the crap ones!) and have generally been in a down place about it all. I think the only thing I can do is keep on keeping on - keep focusing on moving forward, accept that other stuff will come up when that happens, work on it as it does and eventually it won't be there anymore and it won't keep causing problems? I guess?
I have got acupuncture next week and I was reading up on emotions and Chinese Medicine - their theory is that different emotions get trapped in different organs so the therapist will work on releasing emotional blockages from different places depending on what they are. It's interesting to read and I feel very comfortable with this guy so I will have an honest chat with him about the different emotions that I keep finding resurface and see if he can help move any of it along at all.
Another day, another dollar! And all that :) Lol
PS The charity shops here are great, absolutely awash with all sorts of weird and wonderful treasures. Some have vintage sections (I got my son some great Superhero T shirts from the 1980s), some have fancy dress sections (which is really big around here for some reason), some even have bridal sections! A thrifty bride could kit herself out without too much trouble. I love having a rummage - will keep an eye out for some heels that are unlikely to cause a broken ankle :) lol xx
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on July 31, 2019, 04:33:18 PM ---Awwww, (((((((((((Tupp))))))))).
I just feel joy for you all over.
I'm so GLAD.
Huge hugs,
Hops
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Hops! It was nice to write a positive post for a change :) I don't feel quite as positive today - insecurities and old fears resurfacing, I think. But I will continue to work through it and move forward. It feels like two steps forward and one back, instead of one forward and two back, so there is improvement :) Lol xx
lighter:
(((Tupp)))
Breath, and get curious.
Feeling down is cause for curiosity. Right?
No more judging.
Be compassionate with yourself.
What would you want me to do?
Do that.
It's going to be OK.
Even if it's not OK.
It's OK.
Lighter
Remember, breathe in 4 seconds, hold it 4 seconds, breathe out 4 seconds - repeat several times as needed
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