Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Reciprocal Relationships with Others and Ourselves
Hopalong:
Tupp, it feels so positive to hear you having a calm, sane day where you're doing what you can and experiencing a sensation of peace about that.
That is beautiful. Only 6-8 months more of those kinds of reactions and it'll be your new habitual position toward stuff! (Whatever that article said about habit training, is what I'm referring to.)
You are really an inspiration.
Hugs
Hops
PS Did the comfy mattress help?
lighter:
Tupp, you OK:
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on September 30, 2019, 02:59:40 PM ---Tupp, you OK:
--- End quote ---
Lighter, I'm good, thank you, checking in on posts but need to catch up on what everyone else is doing - lots has been/is going on, there has been a big shift, I think and things are starting to move and settle, will report on progress soon and catch up on all the other threads xx xx
Twoapenny:
Hi all, sorry I have not been very active on the board lately; I have got about a million threads to catch up on, you have all been very busy of late! I hope it is mostly good stuff :)
Things are not great here; I have been feeling like I'm in quick sand and the more I tried to do, the further down I sank. College is not going well; son's needs are simply not being supported well enough. They are doing what they can but the additional support we won in court has still not been implemented (that's down to the Local Authority, not the college) so son's health is deteriorating rapidly and we are both exhausted. I have thought about pulling him out altogether but have decided to keep him enrolled and let him decide each day whether he feels well enough to go in. If I can see he's still doing too much and it's making him worse I may have to put my mummy foot down and tell him he has to stay home for a few days but I would rather he manage things for himself as much as he is able, so for now we're going with a chat in the morning about how he feels and whether he's up to going in and I'm letting him decide.
There was an incident last week; quite minor and probably just an oversight or misunderstanding on the college's part but unfortunately when I contacted them to ask for the situation to be clarified so that everyone involved knew what was supposed to happen I got several different versions of the same event from different staff members. When I queried the discrepancies one member of staff in particular got quite funny with me which I don't appreciate and it puts my back up. A mistake is just that and this was a fairly minor thing, it just needed someone to confirm that it had been dealt with and everyone now knew what was going on. Instead it escalated fairly rapidly and what particularly bothered me was something they claimed had to be done because of 'teaching practice'. They are unaware that I used to be a teacher and what they were saying was bullshit - I haven't pulled them up on it because it wouldn't have achieved anything and I didn't want anymore drama but it has left me feeling uneasy and in all honesty when I took him in today I didn't want to leave him there.
I think all I can really do for the time being is stress management stuff, so I have re-arranged a couple of appointments that I was feeling anxious about to give myself a bit more time and head space in between. I am trying very hard to focus on positive, constructive actions but I do find it difficult; the fifteen years of public sector nonsense starts spinning through my head and I have to work very hard to quieten it down again. Then I resent that I am having to spend time quietening down stress caused by other people and then I have to work at not resenting it :) And so on.
I have been looking at ways to try and make a bit of money and/or give myself and son gainful employment. He draws a lot of pictures and I'm going to look into making those up as little greetings cards and seeing if we could sell small packs of those. He also writes a lot of stories and I'm wondering if we could try self-publishing some, not as great literary works of art but more as a kind of 'look how lovely and creative this learning disabled young man is', more to try to dispel the myths that people with learning disabilities are only interested in playing bingo and what they're having for pudding.
I'm also looking at his enormous Lego collection and wondering if I could put together a series of articles or advice guides regarding the use of Lego in education and give some examples of the kinds of things we've used Lego for at home and how people in similar situations to me (ie, forced to home educate because of a lack of suitable provision) can use the things their kids are interested in to create schemes of work and lesson plans (without having to spend a fortune, because we managed it for years spending very little). But essentially all ways of trying to use things he's created in one way or another to generate a bit of work and/or income. And once I've found a way to keep him usefully occupied all day I can start focusing on myself making a bit of money. A friend has suggested proof reading, which I will look into, and there is apparently quite a lot of data entry type stuff to be done from home these days - quite boring work but it would bring in a bit of cash.
I think we're on a bit of a cusp. The way we've been doing things isn't really working but I'm not too sure what else to do next. So I'm just going to try a few things out and see how we get on, without making any big decisions or commitments. I will let you know how it goes.
Sorry to have been so absent and I will try to catch up with all the other threads soon xx
lighter:
When life isn't working, sometimes it feels like life's coming to an end, rather than the parts that no longer serve.
(((Tupp and Son)))
You do what feels right without reservation. Trust yourself, Tupp.
::sending strength, creativity, and intestinal fortitude::.
Lighter
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