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Reciprocal Relationships with Others and Ourselves
Hopalong:
Lovely, lovely.
To me it sounds like you're respecting yourself, Tupp. Not in an angry or brittle way. But in a natural way. You're respecting the natural limits of your energy and your own needs.
You're tending to yourself first with kindness, as a priority. You're on your own side and not forgetting or abandoning yourself in the presence of others. And that makes other social decisions and choices so much easier. It all flows from that more solid sense of yourself...you are still present when other people are. Not a shell of you or a performance. Just real you, being gentle and honest. Gentle includes saying No, and not leaping to take on responsibilities you don't need to carry. And cooperating with your own well being.
You've befriended yourself.
BRAVOOOO! Thanks for sharing this, it was wonderful to read.
Hugs
Hops
lighter:
Tupp:
For me it really helps to see exactly what's been happening... what our actions and energy in a situation has been, so we can assess it. Maybe change, or tweak it, so we get more of what we want.
That you're in observer mode is wonderful!
Lighter
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on May 30, 2019, 08:02:54 AM ---Lovely, lovely.
To me it sounds like you're respecting yourself, Tupp. Not in an angry or brittle way. But in a natural way. You're respecting the natural limits of your energy and your own needs.
You're tending to yourself first with kindness, as a priority. You're on your own side and not forgetting or abandoning yourself in the presence of others. And that makes other social decisions and choices so much easier. It all flows from that more solid sense of yourself...you are still present when other people are. Not a shell of you or a performance. Just real you, being gentle and honest. Gentle includes saying No, and not leaping to take on responsibilities you don't need to carry. And cooperating with your own well being.
You've befriended yourself.
BRAVOOOO! Thanks for sharing this, it was wonderful to read.
Hugs
Hops
--- End quote ---
Hops, I agree! Lol, it just feels better, it's hard to put it into words but I suddenly feel like I've been looking at it from the wrong angle and instead of assuming something about me is making these relationships difficult, I've realised that other people also have their own hang ups and stuff that they do, and it doesn't mean I'm faulty - just that I'm keener to have those deeper connections and longer chats and I'd rather wait for that than fill my day up with things (and people) I don't particularly want to be around. I just feel more content in myself and less desperate to validate myself through other people's eyes, I suppose? It does feel better - I feel like a weight's been lifted and it suddenly feels easier :) xx
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on May 30, 2019, 10:24:17 AM ---Tupp:
For me it really helps to see exactly what's been happening... what our actions and energy in a situation has been, so we can assess it. Maybe change, or tweak it, so we get more of what we want.
That you're in observer mode is wonderful!
Lighter
--- End quote ---
Being able to observe it is helping, Lighter, I find it hard to separate out how I feel from what I can see is going on sometimes. If I'm feeling low, I just want to not feel low, rather than observing it, you know? So this has been helpful, I just felt like I could sit back a bit and watch what was going on and not attach quite so much importance to it all? It felt good! Lol xx
lighter:
Seems this is an important piece of the puzzle, (((Tupp )))
Light
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