Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
I wish I'd sent the boy back home on the 26th of March, or sooner.
Sooner.
I'm smacking myself in the forehead wondering why the heck I didn't DO THAT.
I think it's bc I thought youngest dd was entertained and less bored, but.... it was something I wish I'd done differently.
I'm not in charge of her boredom or entertainment.
I'm in charge of this household and how it runs.
It seems so simple now.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Be kind to yourself, Lighter :) It's an unprecedented time. You were doing a very sweet, kind, helpful thing, as you so often do. From bits and pieces you've written on here it sounds as if your kindness may not have been reciprocated. But - we live and learn. He's gone now, you've got your loft back and hopefully some time and head space. Perhaps once the washer and cooker problems have been sorted as well things might settle a bit more. It's a tough time so don't give yourself a hard time. I would be struggling if son wasn't so utterly content in his man cave doing nothing but exactly what he wants :) Lol. You did a good, kind thing and now you can be good and kind to you :) (((((((((((((((((((Lighter ))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xx
Hopalong:
Well said, Tupp! I agree.
And I love that mossing has become a verb, Lighter.
I moss
You moss
He/she moss
We moss
Y'all moss
They moss
Something unique in that species really speaks to you in a lovely way.
And mossing is bringing friending, too.
Enjoy,
Hops
lighter:
Hops and TuppL
Yes, moss is bringing new friendship and connection.
This new gal has an art studio filled with things I have all in big armoirs in garage ..... the same sorts of things. She does the same sort of art, but full time with gusto and I love it. Maybe we can do art together too!
She collects the same huge pine cones from the wood, bark, gears and gadgets, bobs and bits.... lovely papers, the same paints and glues and root starting powders... that's for gardening, but also the same broken pottery and pots and MOSS!
Tupp... I'm more in awareness than anything. Not criticizing myself, but SEEING the options were there all along. The only thing between them and me was ME, and that's important content. It's time I see it, I guess, and I'm grateful. I'm doing my best. Thanks for the reminder to be super kind to myself, always. Sometimes it slips away.
::nodding::.
I'm about to put the first load of wash in, then go out into the yard since the rain stopped and it warmed up a bit. MOSS loves the rain.
::nodding::
I'll brush my hands through sporophytes and wonder why I don't do it every single day, bc it's pure joy. Sometimes new friend L will point out something amazing I walk by all the time in my yard. I do the same in hers. It's a reminder to stop, drop the thing we're thinking about...usually the future... and just tune into now.
You know what? I think I used to live this way all the time.
I notice oldest dd looks up and smiles when I'm happy and present in the moment. This has been a pattern since that smart little monkey noticed I'd picked up the weight of the world and put down the joy she was used to experiencing with me in 2006.
What a journey. What a long roundabout way to get back to it.
Lighter
Hopalong:
Don't you worry! ANY time we reconnect to our present selves, in peace, is the right time.
I think I used to live this way all the time.
That's beautiful.
It means you KNOW that your inner child who was able to be present and experience peace and happiness, is there.
Yay!
Hops
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