Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
Hops:
There's lessons for both of us, I'm sure.
Lighter
lighter:
I haven't seen my Moss friend L in over a week. Her BIL and SIL have been visiting and she's taking a course she's overwhelmed with. I really miss her, and I didn't realize that till just now.
I have a social distancing BBQ tomorrow evening with a couple I really like. He's the sweetest man you've ever talked to... think Mr. Rogers building Ukeleles, and she's a Pediatrician from the UK now heading up a major health care system.... not sure which one in our County, but will hear all about it tomorrow I'm sure. They just got a BIG puppy, part herding shepherd and part Newfoundland so his paws are HUGE. He's just adorable with his stubby little legs and chubby look.
It will be interesting to SEE and hear how this Doc is navigating social interaction, come to think of it, as they're cooking for us.
A neighbor offered eggs on the Neighborhood message board. About 100 people jumped on the offer... turns out there's not that many chickens. I was third on the list and just got MINE! So. Happy. I was the first person to ask to see the chickens, and she was delighted to share them. Said she was disappointed no family with children had shown interest.
Honestly, she wasn't a good communicator.... we had no idea she wanted attention from the shy original post. She's reaching out for contact.... I was so thrilled that was the case and posted exactly what the situation was so she'll be getting lots of offers for company, I'm sure.
The other happy news with the egg gal is....
she has like... 100 tomato plants in the ground! What will she do with all those tomatoes.. do'ya think? I suggested she sell them to her neighbors! Honestly, I have my own plants... 5, but would love to spend time in her huge garden, next to the chickens, picking sun-ripened tomatoes for customers she's selling them to.
We're cleaning out problem areas in the house. The absolute mess of wires and video games and controllers under the LR TV are all tidied, up, behind TVt of the way or in a cupboard, we cleaned out for that purpose.
I'd be in the yard, but it's raining again!
I'm just so happy about the eggs and looking forward to visiting.
Lighter
lighter:
I set a visit with moss friend L (MFL) in the morning. I've really missed her and have been looking forward to discussing both our yards... collecting moss.... talking about her classes.... my stuff.
At first she invited me to a Sunday night BBQ with her neighbors and daughter. I thought.... I'll be recovering from a Saturday night BBQ... I just don't want to do that, so I asked for what I wanted again, gave her an out and let it go.
I'm happy I asked for what I want. I'm happy she's recovered from her company and ready to visit again. I'm happy I didn't say yes to that second BBQ, though I can if I want.
This is new for me. To ask for exactly what I want and not get sidetracked by anything.. and there are so many things to get sidetracked by when you're used to caretaking other people and their feelings as default.
Putting that down.... and gently observing it provides space to SEE it clearly, without emotion, and get on with taking care of myself as priority. I'm astonished at the interior pressure I feel to please others.... without thinking about it. I can avoid feeling overwhelmed. I don't have to regret saying YES if I say NO to things I don't want to do. Wow, I bet that looks crazy to people who always ask for what they want.
I also sent a text to MFL's neighbors, with the amazing moss yard. I want to compare notes and see if they know what the yellow circles in my moss are.
The boy is back in the house.
I was in the yard moving rocks and thinking about what I want to do next with Hosta. It's still raining! I saw a chipmunk and put a screen over the rain barrel where the squirrel drowned. I'm amazed at how clear and clean the water is in barrels receiving no sunlight.
The tomatoes all look OK after the rain.... even the two little ones I peeled off larger plants from the nursery. That's 8 tomato plants, which seems like more than enough to me. 5 pepper plants, hot and sweet. Something's coming up.... I think it's seedlings I planted. Will have to see what it was... I think zucchini and lettuces.
We have Thai lettuce wraps and ham/black lentil soup in the fridge, so I don't have to fuss with cooking for a while.
Lighter
lighter:
The egg lady just texted thanks for the visit. She'd been discouraged, bc a neighbor 80 on the list reported her for selling eggs. I told her it wasn't personal. He was upset she didn't have enough eggs for everyone.... and he transferred some aggression her way. It happens, even if it doesn't make sense. She had such hurt feelings, and I know what that feels like. A psychic slap when you feel you're doing something kind and it backfires.
She's back in a happy mood. I'm hoping we're buzzing about her veggies stand in the near future. Everyone was so excited about the eggs!
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
Nothing's quite as easy as canning tomato sauce, Lighter. Yeah, there's the boiling, skinning & pureeing stage which takes some time. I'll cook it down a little, with some onions & garlic - salt & pepper before filling jars and the water bath. With the minimal spicing in the jarred sauce - it can go a lot of different directions.
And it's soooo satisfying in January, to see all the pretty jars and taste summer in chili, marinara, whatever.
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