Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
Since tweaking my back, I've been stacking up projects. I have Hosta, Linton Roses, watermelon and squash seedlings to find planting spaces for.... and I don't KNOW where those spaces ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. I NEEEEED to finalize a plan that works well... that doesn't need tweaking or changing... that suits my aging and abilities. Need need need... no pressure. Whew.
If I worry, I know I'll get it wrong or remain paralyzed. I've been in my rabbit hole of research. It's time to shift to resting my mind. Time to allow space for my intuition to have space and voice.
It's sunny today. The ground is wet. The yellow circles in my moss MIGHT be bear and possum and dog and wildlife pee, but I don't see ANY other traces of their visits. I don't ever SEE them. Wouldn't there be scat? Somewhere? I worry about my entire yard going yellow with something I can't see that's killing it dead for good. The worry shuts down my ability to problem solve, so that's clearly not helping.
So, I'm going out into the yard and resting my thoughts. I won't let my neighbors take my attention and pull me into their projects. Yesterday I was happy in the garden, problem solving and a neighbor came by with his dog, which shifted to his letting the pug off the porch, pulling me IN to his orbit, to his dog splashing in mud to asking to use my hose and for dog soap and his ending up in my outdoor shower giving his dog a bath needing a towel.
If you give a mouse a cookie.... that was a great children's book. Enjoyed it very much. But this neighbor.... and a couple others.... I have to calmly set boundaries with. Even the Pug set a boundary. She leapt off the porch, when freed, then quickly changed her mind and got back on the porch and looked viewed everyone thorugh the railing while I was putting moss back in place from those big puppy paws, then turning on hose water, then looking for dog shampoo, then solving the problem of caging the wild puppy while neighbor bathed him and I'm just not going to do that today or in the future if I'm not choosing it myself. I don't want a big wet puppy running over my outdoor furniture and clean blankets and table.... I don't. I feel sorry for my neighbor, who lost his calm amazing best friend dog, and his choice of puppies.... but I can't be a part of solving that for him. I can give him help and support, as he helps and supports my journey, but there have to be limits.
I get to set my limits, as he sets his.
::sigh::.
Back to resting. Will do some walking meditation today.... feet kissing the moist happy moss and earth.
Lighter
lighter:
Well, it's official.
I'm done thinking about the upcoming election. I don't want to hear either right or left wing parties prattle on with their skewed opinionated versions of the news. I've stopped watching them.
Today youngest dd and I had to run by the school and decided to drive through downtown. Lots of buildings were boarded up at street level. Many artists have done very cool art on the boards. We saw the place where the police stabbed water bottles and destroyed medical supplies.
A police officers was on the phone, standing next to his stopped patrol car and a recycling bin he looked into.... put his entire torso in to take a look.
Later when we drove by again there was an umarked white car and what looked like 2 people in haszmat suits looking into the same bin. Something's going on in that bin.
We have an 8pm to 6am curin few bc of the protests, there were protestors chanting and one dancing when we drove by. We didn't feel unsafe. It was peaceful, as you'd imagine it would be where we are. I don't understand why the police attacked medical supplies. I'm still scratching my head over that one.
I'm unhappy with the ACAB slogan, which is spray-painted around here. I don't agree all cops are bastards. I feel very strongly laws should apply across the board, to everyone, including cops. I have to say the chant and signs "I can't breathe" upset me..... made me cry. That's powerful. That's truth. I don't like ACAB.
Lighter
Hopalong:
I read the chief's statement in Lighter's city and it was about police stabbing water bottles because they'd been used as projectiles. He also said they'd rather have confiscated than destroyed them, but couldn't. He also mentioned the aid stand was on private property without permission (nit-picky). He added that that night's protest went fine with no injuries.
I don't want to mistrust all police, we're not quite Chile yet. And I've read some powerful columns recently about the HOPE that is in what is happening. With videos, and an outraged populace protesting in greater numbers than during Viet Nam, this might possibly be a turning point for our culture. It'll still take a long time and include more horrors and mistakes, but I think our entire society except for jerks is sick of racism. MOST people have begun to understand it's destroying America way more than any handfuls of looters and criminals could.
Eugene Robinson gives me hope. (Washington Post.) So do others. Not Tom Cotton. And I'm thankful for what General Mattis wrote. There is hope going on too, not only trauma and misery.
hugs
Hops
Hopalong:
A dove with I think a hurt wing possibly (not sure) has been sitting on the edge of my patio birdbath for an hour. I walked past (socially distant) a couple times and it didn't budge, so I tried walking up to it and pouring fresh water in the bath. It didn't budge. Worrying about it but don't want to re-traumatized if it's hurt.
Maybe it's just lazy and has claimed it (doves are territorial) for now. It's relatively safe from cats on my patio and the hostas will give it ground cover, but if it's truly hurt I don't know how it'll eat.
Must google dove diet...
Hops
lighter:
I'll definitely look at that, CB.
Right now I'm BACK dealing with airbnb support over a problem they SAID they solved 3 weeks ago, but DID NOT.
I feel time is stolen from me when these things happen.
Having to spend hours dealing with something, then find they didn't do what they said they would, and it's like starting over..... just to get a person on line takes hours.
In the meantime, boundary work on codependence is ongoing.
Thanks for providing the link!
Lighter
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version