Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
bean2:
oh yes, thank goodness my husband and I are on the same page. He knows something is terribly wrong with his N daughter. He is slowly coming to realize we are both co-dependent too! I really love my husband, he has never thought of this stuff before he met me and is very open minded to it all. I think I am more upset than him.
Just steams me, because I want to work on myself (and my codependency) but I end up fixating on the N. Or worrying about the other co-dependent stepdaughter.
Letting go is really difficult.
Thanks for listening
lighter:
--- Quote from: bean2 on August 26, 2020, 08:24:16 PM ---I tried breathing...and counting my breaths...and being mindful. Letting my thoughts flit around and settle on whatever it was I was stewing over that moment.... My mindfulness state is about 30 seconds max :(
Learning to sit and focus on breathing isn't something we turn on and off, like a switch. We practice it.
Monks, who've practiced for 30 and 40 years say they're still practicing and when they master it, they'll learn something else. They never master it. It's imperfect practice, and is supposed to be. That's where we NOTICE what's going on inside.... and learn to notice without judging. We lose focus, notice, then go back to focusing on breath again. We treat ourselves like we'd treat any small child. With compassion and patience.
Thich Nhat Hanh is an author and shares simple mindful practices that help us learn HOW to focus, IME. , The Practice of Mindfulness is a book my T loaned to me when I first started learning to breathe and focus on mindfulness. There are different kinds of practice and some are more helpful than others, bean. You'll find you have preferences too. It's different for everyone. There are many books he's written... you might find a couple on Amazon that speak to you. It helps quiet one down, and focus on specific things to train the mind, which becomes less difficult, then familiar then one day you notice yourself sort of huffing, without thinking about it, and that's when your body understands and responds to stress automatically.... with breathing. We only practice... and it's never perfect.
I had the same difficult with martial arts...... berating muself for not doing something perfect the first or 50th time... I was just wasting energy I COULD have used to work on what I wanted to learn, kwim? It DOES get easier, bean.. with practice. However imperfect, it builds on itself, in ways we can't understand until doors begin opening. That might not make sense, but it's something everyone experiences differently, so it's not helpful to say it MUST happen like this or that, IME. It's just trying, doing your best, and not judging yourself, IME.
It's frustrating.... sort of like looking at one of those pictures you can SEE only when the eye focuses a certain way. I went through times of anger, even..... more than frustrating. I don't think I could have stuck with it IF I didn't have a really great T doing her own work.... meaning she;s dropped her ego and is available to me in a way that's new and refreshing in Therapists... for ME.
In my case, and maybe many people's, the discomfort of learning something new has to be outweighed by the disomfort of remaining mired in suffering, which is where I was at.
Honestly, being a strong person, capable of gutting one's way through crisis, suffering through a life filled with shots of adrenaline and reactivity..... slows one down in the process. If one hit rock bottom more quickly, it's likely one would be open to new coping strategies sooner, rather than later, IME. I think our schools should teach mindfulness, meditation, acceptance, releasing outcome, and SEEING the little child in everyone....
right before teaching healthy boundaries, enforcing them and following through with consequences. Accepting something, that can't change, is different than being OK with something or giving permission for it to have happened or to happen again.
Acceptance is the emotional act of no longer STRIVING against the tide and stream. It's the act of getting out of the stream and walking with the wind.... it frees up energy to focus on what CAN DO. It frees energy up to be responsive, and less reactive. It gives us moments between stimulus and action.... so there's time to consider and select a particular response.
It's an escape from circular thinking and reactivity. It's gaining distance and SEEING the entire field. It allows us the time to see more possible responses and discern the best possible choice, Ime.
Many people worry worry worry as their primary coping strategy without understanding there are other ways to cope.
DOING EVERYTHING WE CAN, to impact a situation positively.... THEN putting the story ON THE SHELF..... going back to being present in the moment... doing things that bring us joy INSTEAD of worrying... is another coping strategy available to us. And it's better, IME.
...
Being mindful FELT like it had many moving parts to me. And I couldn't hold them all in focus at the same time... for quite some time. I still can't, truth be told. They just get more familiar, and habit turns into new default settings in our brain's wiring. Not quick, but it's a process open to all of us if we keep trying, IME.
Dropping all judgment, about everyone and everything... just getting very curious about what comes next.... and leaning into finding out what that is...
extending massive self-compassion to ourselves... consistently as we can......
getting very very curious about what's going on in our internal worlds....
remembering, when we judge others.... we do this bc we're also judging ourselves.
It gets easier as we practice imperfectly, then practice some more, IME.
We learn to discern our own inner wisdom from the voices installed by other people... and we become familiar with them.... work on making peace with them.... EMDR helps process old traumas stuck in our brains. If we can just reduce the stress in our brain, our brain will process troubling emotions in milliseconds, bc that's what our brains do efficiently, daily..... and they will do it with the old trauma when we give it a chance.
Back to breathing and mindfulness....
Non judfmental curiosity..... resting in awareness...... these words take on more meaning as we practice, IME. Only words, b ut then we make connections and build on them. Until one begins to practice and read and notice things come up. And those things don't kill us or destroy us.... they just show us more things and so on, until we get used to embracing truths and causes of our conditions so we can make new choices and changes to patterns that no longer serve. [/b]
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Does anyone practice this daily? I am struggling to form the habit and wonder if there are any tricks to getting started? My therapist practices daily. She does yoga. Goes to retreats and participates in worldwide conferences over the computer..... and her experience..... because her work helps her to drop all ego when dealing with clients... accept where we are, validate us, teach us to do better.... feel better....
to suffer less.
THAT was why I was in the T's office. I was SO ready to suffer less, Bean. Just..... less. When that happened it was a revelation. My T wondered if I didn't want more than simply "feeling better". Honeslty, I would have been happy with that small gain, bc it felt so LARGE to me. I was patient.... I kept my appointments, usually with frantic bits of trying to meditate right before the next appointment, but in her office... she focused me very keenly on what I was learning and I leaned in with everything I had... even when I was unable to release frustration and anger and judgment and simple ACCEPT something I couldn't change. I had a difficult time accepting that acceptance wasn't saying something was OK. It was simply getting out of a strong headwind.... and working WITH the wind. Acceptance is accepting I can't DO anything to change something, then turning toward something I enjoy or CAN change. Giving my energy to something that will impact my life in a positive way, and lead to more of what I want... more joy... more fellowship..... more flow and less suffering. These things I could agree with my T about.
Learning how to get my nose off trauma pebbles..... that was more difficult. We worked through the largest traumas, one by one, typically with EMDR... eye movement and changing stories in my brain... calming my brain down so I had access to my WHOLE brain for logic, reason, creativity and problem solving skills instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off in survival mode..... trying to solve problems I simply couldn't go back and solve in the past, bc the past is gone forever. T helped me find a way to move those traumas INTO my processing center, integrate my brain so I could SEE the problems/trauma with all my abilities at hand, SOLVE and move that trauma INTO historic files, in my brain, so I wasn't reacting to the same things over and over and over again. There was just quiet and peace and NOTHING when I thought about them.
I don't meditate like I could, and I refuse to say SHOULD, bc I feel I learn something every day and I pay very close attention to what I'm feeling and how I'm responding or reacting. I can tell the difference now, even if I can't stop myself reacting, I AM AWARE, and I understand what's happening inside. I understand what I can do to gain more distance, have more choices and be more responsive.
I also am thinking a lot about Pia Mellody's "negative control" and "resentment" as symptoms of codependence. I can definetely see these traits in myself (and realize that after going through therapy I have decreased both tremendously). I found Pia Melody super helpful too, but that was just a starting point for understanding WHY I was codependent and how my reactivity, around someone, indicates I have work to do in that area... lessons to learn.... something I'm working out for myself. Viewing that person or that problem as a lesson, rather than a difficult person/problem I need to banish... has been helpful. But aren't these symptoms more prevalent in the Narcissistic rather than the Codependent? Especially the Resentment, which manifests itself as Anger at the smallest slight. N's have their own path and work to do. It's not our work. We focus on our work, and our path and we learn to see the wounded child in everyone... in ourselves.... the Ns. Everyone has causes and conditions they're dealing with. Ev3eryone is doing their level best, based on the causes and conditions they've experienced.... when they know better, they'll do better. One of the red flags to me has always been that an N shows you who they are when they so easily get angry, and hang onto resentment, and it is disproportinate to whatever you have said or done. Absolutely, Bean. They will gaslight you with their anger, making you crazy (if you are codependent), such that you are months later stills scanning your memory for What exactly You did to Anger them. Of course, nothing. ugh
We do that until we learn to do better, and STOP scanning, worrying and wondering. We learn to mind our own business.... what is ours to tend to, in other words. Primarily self care. We forgive ourselves when we forget not to overstep or try to fix or help..... bc we're human and have a wounded child inside our hearts too. Just like the N..... there's trauma and wounds in each of us.
We may extend compassion to the N without allowing them to trample our boundaries. It would be unwise to engage someone who's not honoring us or relating to us with reciprocity.
I was also wondering about the rage that the N feels when you cut off their N supply.
When you think about it, Bean..... what does an N rage remind you of? It's not an adult response to frustration, is it? It's more like a toddlers tantrum.... an immature response... a very harmful coping strategy that might have worked for them when they were children, but no longer serves in adulthood. It's self defeating to rage and bully like a big toddler to gain some illusion of having control.
It reminds me of the saying.... one person can't make two people happy, but one person can make two people miserable. We can accept an N is broken, unable to do better, and is making sad choices based on their causes and condiitions. N's have trauma too. They're less resilient... they suffer a lot, bean. It doesn't make the harm they do OK. It doesn't. It doesn't mean we allow further harm. It just means we accept the N is suffering bc of causes and conditions... the same as we suffer, and we learn to see that in everyone. To have compassion. To be patient, but also to tend to ourselves, self care, and good boundaries.
It feels odd to stop doing the things I;ve associated with who I've always been.. in the past, IME. Just today it struck me... I'm not DOING this codependent thing anymore.... SHOULD I FEEL GUILTY? No. DO I need to go back and do it some more? No. Can I turn back to what I was doing, and enjy that thing again? Yes, and that's what I did. As I do it more and more, it gets easier, more familiar, I choose it more often, and eventually it will be my brain's new default setting. I won't have to fight for the right choices so hard.
But then, there will be new lessons and new COWs,(Crisis Of The Week) and that's just life. I can accept it, or I can fight and rail against it and let it control me. I'm trying to calm my brain down, with breathing and mindfulness, so I have every option available to me..... so I have a few moments to consider my choices.... so I don't repeat old self defeating patterns.
Moving on from N abuse seems almost difficult if not impossible for a Codependent. Just my random thoughts after several months of being cutoff from my N stepdaughter...
For me, understanding what's going on INSIDE my brain..... why I repeat mistakes or habits that aren;t serving me..... understanding WHY sometimes I can't STOP worrying about what might happen..... catastrophizing... or worse... going over past events I can't change..... THESE things happen when my biochemistry is hijacked by my amygdala/fight or flight/reptilian brain, and I can't think my way OUT of that mode, no matter how hard I try. In fact, thinking makes it worse, IME.
When I learned my brain was ringing alarm bells, LIKE A FRIGGIN TIGER WAS CHASING ME.... I understood WHY breathing HELPED. Breathing, calmly..... filling my lungs from the bottom to the top... like filling a vase... then releasing it slowly.... while FOCUSING ON EACH breath.....
is something one cannot DO if a tiger is giving chase.
Breathing is a tool. Think of it as a pair of wire cutters, sneaking up, beneath the alarm bells, and cutting those wires. If we breathe calmly, our bodies understand that as NOT BEING IN DANGER!
We take back control of our biochemistry, and breaking that down a bit further.... what that means is we engage the part of our nervous system responsible for calming down the fight or flight mode.
Our parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) shuts OFF fight or flight survival mode, and we cultivate tools to do that. Because fight or flight mode shuts down access to our frontal lobe.... the part responsible for reason, logic, creativity and problem solving.... is it any wonder we can't fight or think our way OUT of upsetting, circular patterns creating suffering and frustration for ourselves?
I don't know about you, bean, but I believe we all deserve less suffering. Everyone on this board is a kind soul. A well intentioned soul.
Whatever you find in therapy, I hope it's more joy, less worry, more responsiveness and unconditional acceptance of what can't be changed.
Victor Fankl said....
"Live as though you're living a second time, and as though you acted wrontly the first time."
This, for me, is important today, bc we're all working out lessons we're meant to learn right now. We're all here experiencing hardships in order to understand compassion... patience.... a deep abiding understanding that we're all dealing with trauma and our wounded inner child. There can be no compassion without cruelty. No light without dark.
We all are products of our causes and conditions.
Your sd would do better if she knew how to do better. She doesn't lash out in self defeating ways, bc it brings her joy. She does this bc she's suffering, and she's terrified of what's behind it. She's on her own path. You can't fix her. Her father can't fix her. She has to do her own work.
Learning to SEE ourselves in all suffering beings connects us. We don't have to allow abuse, and accepting that abuse happened isn't the same as saying it was OK, bc it wasn't and it never will be.
I found a new poem today, and I'll put it here.
Poem: Please Call Me By My True Names
By Thich Nhat Hanh
Don’t say that I will depart tomorrow— even today I am still arriving.
Look deeply: every second I am arriving to be a bud on a Spring branch, to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings, learning to sing in my new nest, to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower, to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.
I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry, to fear and to hope. The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death of all that is alive.
I am a mayfly metamorphosing on the surface of the river. And I am the bird that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.
I am a frog swimming happily in the clear water of a pond. And I am the grass-snake that silently feeds itself on the frog.
I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones, my legs as thin as bamboo sticks. And I am the arms merchant, selling deadly weapons to Uganda.
I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat, who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea pirate.
And I am also the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and loving.
I am a member of the politburo, with plenty of power in my hands. And I am the man who has to pay his “debt of blood” to my people dying slowly in a forced-labor camp.
My joy is like Spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth. My pain is like a river of tears, so vast it fills the four oceans.
Please call me by my true names, so I can hear all my cries and laughter at once, so I can see that my joy and pain are one.
Please call me by my true names, so I can wake up and the door of my heart could be left open, the door of compassion.
One more thing, and I know I've posted on and on here...
but one more thing.....
today I really felt what it's like to drop all ego and SEE the suffering of someone who's done great harm to me. To hold a space for them... filled with compassion.... and really SEE how their suffering has shaped them. It didn't make what they did to me OK. I simply could see..... causes and conditions shaped that person. It wasn't a choice, in other words. That person was acted upon and that innocent little child, they were, did what it needed to do to survive. And the suffering... I recognize it in myself. I recognize it in that person. It connects us.
The truth is, I've learned so much from hardest of times. When I calm myself down....
get my nose off the pebble or problem I'm struggling with.....
I see greater possibility, release expectation and accept what comes at me..... do what I can, then turn back to what brings me joy in THIS moment..... that's the difference between joy and suffering for me.
THAT's my choice to focus on what I CAN do, and not what is happening TO me, or has happened to me.
Sorry it took so long to respond, bean. I have company and lots going on.
Lighter
bean
--- End quote ---
lighter:
I'm going to re watch The Razor's Edge soon. The original version from 1946 with Tyrone Power and Gene Tierney.
I remember watching it when i was a teenager, and it was impactful. NOW I SEE, even if I have more to learn. Dropping ego.... releasing attachment to things. Yup yup yup.
The Razor's Edge
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For other uses, see The Razor's Edge (disambiguation).
The Razor's Edge
The Razor's Edge 1st ed.jpg
First edition
Author W. Somerset Maugham
Country United States
Language English
Publisher Doubleday, Doran
Publication date 1944
Media type Print (hardback & paperback)
Pages 314 (Paperback)
ISBN 1-4000-3420-5
OCLC 53054407
Dewey Decimal 813.54
The Razor's Edge is a novel by W. Somerset Maugham. The book was first published in 1944. It tells the story of Larry Darrell, an American pilot traumatized by his experiences in World War I, who sets off in search of some transcendent meaning in his life. The story begins through the eyes of Larry's friends and acquaintances as they witness his personality change after the War. His rejection of conventional life and search for meaningful experience allows him to thrive while the more materialistic characters suffer reversals of fortune. The book was twice adapted into film, first in 1946 starring Tyrone Power and Gene Tierney, and Herbert Marshall as Maugham and Anne Baxter as Sophie, and then a 1984 adaptation starring Bill Murray.
The novel's title comes from a translation of a verse in the Katha Upanishad, paraphrased in the book's epigraph as: "The sharp edge of a razor is difficult to pass over; thus the wise say the path to Salvation is hard."[1][2]
Contents
1 Plot
2 Influences and critical reception
3 References
4 External links
Plot
Maugham begins by characterizing his story as not really a novel but a thinly veiled true account. He includes himself as a minor character, a writer who drifts in and out of the lives of the major players. Larry Darrell's lifestyle is contrasted throughout the book with that of his fiancée's uncle Elliott Templeton, an American expatriate living in Paris and an unrepentantly shallow yet generous snob. For example, while Templeton's Catholicism embraces the hierarchical trappings of the church, Larry's proclivities tend towards the 13th-century Flemish mystic and saint John of Ruysbroeck.
Wounded and traumatized by the death of a comrade in the War, Larry returns to Chicago, Illinois, and his fiancée Isabel Bradley, only to announce that he does not plan to seek paid employment and instead will "loaf" on his small inheritance. He wants to delay their marriage and refuses to take up a job as a stockbroker offered to him by Henry Maturin, the father of his friend Gray. Meanwhile, Sophie, Larry's childhood friend, settles into a happy marriage, only to later tragically lose her husband and baby in a car accident.
Larry moves to Paris and immerses himself in study and bohemian life. After two years of this "loafing," Isabel visits and Larry asks her to join his life of wandering and searching, living in Paris and traveling with little money. She cannot accept his vision of life and breaks their engagement to go back to Chicago. There she marries the millionaire Gray, who provides her a rich family life. Meanwhile, Larry begins a sojourn through Europe, taking a job at a coal mine in Lens, France, where he befriends a former Polish army officer named Kosti. Kosti's influence encourages Larry to look toward things spiritual for his answers rather than in books. Larry and Kosti leave the coal mine and travel together for a time before parting ways. Larry then meets a Benedictine monk named Father Ensheim in Bonn, Germany while Father Ensheim is on leave from his monastery doing academic research. After spending several months with the Benedictines and being unable to reconcile their conception of God with his own, Larry takes a job on an ocean liner and finds himself in Bombay.
Larry has significant spiritual adventures in India and comes back to Paris. What he actually found in India and what he finally concluded are held back from the reader for a considerable time until, in a scene late in the book, Maugham discusses India and spirituality with Larry in a café long into the evening. He starts off the chapter by saying "I feel it right to warn the reader that he can very well skip this chapter without losing the thread of the story as I have to tell, since for most part it is nothing more than the account of a conversation that I had with Larry. However, I should add that except for this conversation, I would perhaps not have thought it worthwhile to write this book." Maugham then initiates the reader to Advaita philosophy and reveals how, through deep meditation and contact with Bhagawan Ramana Maharshi, cleverly disguised as Sri Ganesha in the novel, Larry goes on to realise God through the experience of samadhi—thus becoming a saint—and in the process gains liberation from the cycle of human suffering, birth and death that the rest of the earthly mortals are subject to.
The 1929 stock market crash has ruined Gray, and he and Isabel are invited to live in her uncle Elliott Templeton's grand Parisian house. Gray is often incapacitated with agonising migraines due to a general nervous collapse. Larry is able to help him using an Indian form of hypnotic suggestion. Sophie has also drifted to the French capital, where her friends find her reduced to alcohol, opium, and promiscuity – empty and dangerous liaisons that seem to help her to bury her pain. Larry first sets out to save her and then decides to marry her, a plan that displeases Isabel, who is still in love with him.
Isabel tempts Sophie back into alcoholism with a bottle of Żubrówka, and she disappears from Paris. Maugham deduces this after seeing Sophie in Toulon, where she has returned to smoking opium and promiscuity. He is drawn back into the tale when police interrogate him after Sophie has been found murdered with an inscribed book from him in her room, along with volumes by Baudelaire and Rimbaud.
Meanwhile, in Antibes, Elliott Templeton is on his deathbed. Despite the fact that he has throughout his life compulsively sought out aristocratic society, none of his titled friends come to see him, which makes him alternately morose and irate. But his outlook on death is somewhat positive: "I have always moved in the best society in Europe, and I have no doubt that I shall move in the best society in heaven."
Isabel inherits his fortune, but genuinely grieves for her uncle. Maugham confronts her about Sophie, having figured out Isabel's role in Sophie's downfall. Isabel's only punishment will be that she will never get Larry, who has decided to return to America and live as a common working man. He is uninterested in the rich and glamorous world that Isabel will move within. Maugham ends his narrative by suggesting that all the characters got what they wanted in the end: "Elliott social eminence; Isabel an assured position...Sophie death; and Larry happiness."
Influences and critical reception
1946 hardcover edition promoting the first film adaptation
Maugham, like Hermann Hesse, anticipated a fresh embrace of Eastern culture by Americans and Europeans almost a decade before the Beats were to popularise it. (Americans had explored Eastern philosophy before these authors, in the 19th century through the Transcendentalists, Theosophists, the visit of Vivekananda in 1893, and then Yogananda's move to the U.S. in 1920.) Maugham visited Sri Ramana Ashram, where he had a direct interaction with Ramana Maharshi in Tamil Nadu, India in 1938.[3][4] Maugham's suggestion that he "invented nothing" was a source of annoyance for Christopher Isherwood, who helped him translate a verse 1.3.14 from the Katha Upanishads for the novel's epigraph – उत्तिष्ठ जाग्रत प्राप्य वरान्निबोधत | क्षुरस्य धारा निशिता दुरत्यया दुर्गं पथस्तत्कवयो वदन्ति || (uttiṣṭha jāgrata prāpya varān nibodhata| kṣurasya dhārā niśitā duratyayā durga pathas tat kavayo vadanti|| ) – which means "Rise, wake up, seek the wise and realize. The path is difficult to cross like the sharpened edge of the razor (knife), so say the wise."
Many thought Isherwood, who had built his own literary reputation by then and was studying Indian philosophy, was the basis for the book's hero.[5] Isherwood went so far as to write Time denying this speculation.[6] It has been suggested that a man named Guy Hague was an important influence in the character of Darrell, although it now appears that he was not at Ramanasramam when Maugham visited.[7] The English poet and translator Lewis Thompson is thought to be a more likely candidate.[8] David Haberman has pointed out that Ronald Nixon, an Englishman who took monastic vows and became known as Krishna Prem, served as a fighter pilot in the First World War and experienced a crisis of meaninglessness that was "strikingly similar" to that experienced by Larry.[9]
Another distinct possibility for influence is raised by the anglicised American, British MP Chips Channon in his diaries.[10] During a trip to New York in August 1944, Channon wrote ″I saw much of Somerset Maugham, who never before was a friend. He has put me into a book, 'the Razor's Edge' and when I dined with him, I asked him why he had done it, and he explained, with some embarrassment, that he had split me into three characters, and then written a book about all three. So I am Elliott Templeton, Larry, himself the hero of the book, and another: however I am flattered, and the book is a masterpiece...″
References
Katha Upanishad Archived 7 February 2009 at the Wayback Machine "1-III-14. Arise, awake, and learn by approaching the exalted ones, for that path is sharp as a razor's edge, impassable, and hard to go by, say the wise."
Razors Edge: The Katha Upanishad by Nancy Cantwell. Timequotidian.com, 29 January 2010.
Talk 550. 15 October 1938. Talks with Ramana Maharshi. Inner Directions Press. ISBN 978-1-878019-00-4
"Eastern promise". Mint. 17 May 2008.
'Fable of Beasts & Men'. Time (magazine). 5 November 1945.
Isherwood's letter to Time is cited in Christopher Isherwood, My Guru and His Disciple, page 183.
Godman, David (1988) Somerset Maugham and The Razor's Edge http://davidgodman.org
Thompson, Lewis, and Lannoy, Richard (ed) (2011), Fathomless Heart: The Spiritual and Philosophical Reflections of an English Poet-Sage, p.1, North Atlantic Books
Haberman, David L. (1 July 1993). "A cross‐cultural adventure: The transformation of Ronald Nixon". Religion. Routledge. 23 (3): 217–227. doi:10.1006/reli.1993.1020. ISSN 0048-721X. Haberman states that Nixon's "direct experiences with the death and destruction of warfare filled him with a sense of futility and meaninglessness (strikingly similar to the experience of Larry in Sommerset Maugham's The Razor's Edge)" (p. 283).
sPress. ISBN 978-1-257-02549-7. Channon, Henry (1967). Rhodes James, Robert, ed. Chips: The Diaries of Sir Henry Channon. London: Weidenfeld and Nicolson. ISBN 978-1-85799-493-3.
External links
The Razor's Edge at Faded Page (Canada)
Life magazine article about Razor's Edge movie ("Movie of the Week: The Razor's Edge – Maugham book makes superb film", 18 Nov 1946, pp. 97–100).
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bean2:
Thank you lighter. I am feeling great joy for you and hope, because I know how hard this work is, and to drop the ego and see others' as just hurt people like us...it's truly why we're here (I think)
I kind of laughed when you said I would be huffing soon. dang i hope so, I want to speed up that tiger chase, to get there ALREADY. I guess that is a good sign that I'm impatient
My N mother visited yesterday, and I am so far from accepting her as a hurt person, who can't help herself. And I want to be OK with her too, and sometimes it just feels like Sloowwww progress.
But I hear what You're saying to me. It's very powerful. thank you again, that was a wonderful long post, it made me feel like my struggle is real and that you listened and really saw my hurt, as you took all the time you did to respond.
bean
lighter:
Bean:
Really desiring to feel better is a good start to productive huffing, IME; )
You're welcome, and I hope you have peace around sd situation soon.
Lighter
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