Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
--- Quote from: Twoapenny on September 17, 2020, 11:15:37 AM ---
--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on September 17, 2020, 11:14:13 AM ---Time to experiment with filling space with new things!
--- End quote ---
For me at the moment I'm mostly filling space with biscuits, Skep ;) Lol x
--- End quote ---
Lol, Tupp.
Us.
Too.
I'm also looking for deeper daily meditation practices....maybe outdoors in this amazingly cool and breezy fall weather. More walking meditation.
The work you're doing....I'm in awe. Are you adding EMDR to it?
Lighter
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on September 19, 2020, 12:03:03 PM ---
--- Quote from: Twoapenny on September 17, 2020, 11:15:37 AM ---
--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on September 17, 2020, 11:14:13 AM ---Time to experiment with filling space with new things!
--- End quote ---
For me at the moment I'm mostly filling space with biscuits, Skep ;) Lol x
--- End quote ---
Lol, Tupp.
Us.
Too.
I'm also looking for deeper daily meditation practices....maybe outdoors in this amazingly cool and breezy fall weather. More walking meditation.
The work you're doing....I'm in awe. Are you adding EMDR to it?
Lighter
--- End quote ---
Walking meditation sounds nice, Lighter. We are trying to walk most days; we tend only not to go out if it's very wet or very hot (more the former than the latter now). I've been using the Sandra Rolus meditations on YouTube. She describes herself as a trauma and sexual abuse healing facilitator and when I first heard her say that I did my usual eye roll and thought oh blimey, another 'guru' but I have to say I feel I've experienced some very deep shifts whilst doing her meditations so I'm thoroughly hooked right now.
No EMDR, I'm finding the lackdown/pandemic so useful just because it gives me time. I can think about things for as long as I like and I'm not getting more stress added daily which often makes things I want to think about vanish because I have to deal with the immediate problem. I'm really liking being able to structure my day as I see fit and have got into the habit of being busy morning and evening and lounging around in the afternoon. That pattern suits me. I'm reading more, writing more, watching all sorts of films and documentaries as well as planning and thinking. Just having time to think is an absolute luxury, as is being able to meditate or do yoga if the thinking starts making me feel stressed. I'm finding things are coming up and I can really work on them, instead of having to shove them to one side because we've got to be somewhere. I do remember years ago saying to a therapist I felt like I'd do much better if I just went to a retreat for a year so I didn't have to think about anything other than getting better and it kind of feels like that's what we've got now? Time to be at home and just focus on me. I feel in a very fortuitous position right now and I've never felt like that before, quite the opposite! Are you still seeing your T or did it have to go on hold with the pandemic situation? xx
sKePTiKal:
Tupp, not only having time to think is wonderful... but then, there is being able to stretch out the to-do list to fill the extra time we have. For me, thinking about the way I want to do (some) things is just as important as trying to schedule things the most efficiently. New ideas, intuitions, feelings about relative position of the priority... all of that has time to be properly processed and decided on... without the artifical "time pressure".
Honestly, people often imply there is something "wrong" with me... because I've discovered the joy of going way slower about things than seems "normal" to others. I just shrug and tell 'em - I prefer to do things this way. I really don't feel obligated to "fit in" with societal norms anymore... or even close friend's/family "expectations". As long as I'm being authentically me - and pleasing my SELF, and enjoying that.... everyone else can take their perspective, opinion and "concern" and take a flying leap at a rolling donut. :D And I do like returning that favor to others. Do as you like, as the "spirit" moves you... and you'll be happier in the long run.
I don't want to be a cog in any machine; the universe and it's fated destiny is still subject to my free will and choice; and I always promised y'all that at some point (back then it was in the future) I was going to "wear purple"... now I think it'll be purple paisley on a black background... LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
My "life" is how I experience my "days"... the feelings, energy I have to expend and what I choose to expend it on, and the people I care for and about... and enjoying to the best of my ability and patience who they are. Without anyone trying to fit people into pigeonholes.
Pigeonholes are for pigeons. :P
Twoapenny:
'Take a flying leap at a rolling donut' is my new favourite phrase, Skep :) Lol.
Yes, sloooooow. That is what I'm finding so helpful at the minute and I want to hang on to it as much as possible in whatever shape our new normal takes. I am really enjoying choosing when I am productive and get stuff done and when I don't, and being able to be productive for a while and then just stop because I know I can finish it tomorrow. It will adjust slightly as the days get shorter but those changes are gradual and I can adapt to that as we go along. It's been a real eye opener to me to see how much of what we were doing before was more about other people's (or society's expectations) rather than what we really wanted to be doing. I'm liking being able to do jobs in their entirety as well, instead of shoehorning a bit of gardening into the twenty minutes I have spare. It's nice to go outside and know if I'm out there for three hours it's fine, and equally if I've had enough after thirty minutes I can leave it till another time. I keep watching those homesteading/off grid type programmes and there's a lot that appeals to me (and a lot I think I might be too wimpy to cope with) but I definitely want life to be more organic and tuned in with the seasons, daylight hours and just less artificiality about it. And yes to so much purple! I love the meme that does the rounds on the internet every now and again of the lady in purple with feathers in her hair and it's captioned, "I don't want people to say, what a sweet old lady - I want them to say what the hell is she doing now?". Can't think of anything better than that :) xx
sKePTiKal:
There are ways to make the hard physical work of homesteading easier, Tupp. You don't have to always be the "mule" pulling a plow... there are even ways to minimize weeding, which I still enjoy immensely even if I do get tired; it's just the satisfaction of creating the visual "order" I like. I'll bet even your son would enjoy parts of that kind of work.
Sometimes, mother nature "wins" - and there isn't a decent way to cope and get a crop or have your herbs/flowers do really well. Sometimes it's too much rain; not enough; too hot... a host of other things. Wrapping my head around the real commitment it requires to maintain a garden space, permaculture bed, animals... I face a lot of resistance; excuses (It's too hot! I'll be sick and out of commission for days! waaaaah.... poor me) And so the work to overcome that, do things in a timely fashion, not find a handy excuse continues.
I think it's because at one time the bulk of the work - planting, tilling, weeding, harvesting & preserving - fell completely on my shoulders with very little assistance that part of me has held on to that resentment. And the voice I hear, when I am choosing to do/not do... is exactly the know-it-all, always "right" voice of Ex#2. He always dictated how it "should" be done - but he didn't DO IT. I did. And I wasn't permitted to say "no". I haven't quite exorcised that yet.
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