Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
Made another triple batch of cha gio this afternoon.... it was better than the last.
More ginger and garlic.... fish sauce, beef and turkey.... a little sugar, soy sauce.... most of it made without rice wrappers, about 6 minutes each side in the air fryer. The little logs browned up nicely and taste like dumpling filling which is super yummy. Wrapped in crunchy lettuce leaves with fresh herbs..... just about the best meal I can think of. If I added rice noodles or broken rice it would kick it up a notch, but not necessary AND my skin and joints are much happier with these choices.
If I needed a concrete reminder of why I don't eat eat certain foods and why I don't eat non foods..... those are it.
DD20 is babysitting till 10 and will have crazy funny stories when she gets home. The last time she babysat, the 5yo had her taking notes about the play 5yo was writing, then they performed it till big brother came home and performed it again till the mom got home. Big brother was pressed into labor, then the play was performed again for the mom. This child is large and in charge. BTW, the
"play" was the same song over and over, with different names, banged out on percussion instruments only.
Lighter
Hopalong:
Aaaaghhh.
Hard-core sexism and/or misogyny in our FOOs plays out foreveer.
I'm really sorry you have endured so much of it, Lighter.
And equally glad you still take joy in the new generations and in your own healing.
It's brutal stuff from our brutally sexist culture.
hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
I do wonder, Lighter, (or more specifically, I know from my own experiences) that people have to numb themselves down to cope with all sorts of things, and abuse/neglect/mistreatment just becomes normal to them and something they don't connect with or comment on. It's relatively recently, I think, that women have been able to earn their own money, get themselves a mortgage, marry a man because they choose to rather than having to and all those sorts of things. So I'd guess that speaking up, going against the man of the house, protesting in any way just wasn't an option for a long time - so people just become immune to it and shrug it off. It's horrible when we look at all the ways we mistreat ourselves and others (and very difficult to untangle ourselves from). I find I have to keep my distance from people who are still in 'acceptance' mode, because I'm not accepting other people's acceptance just now - not sure if I want to, either. I've had to pull away from my sister, and the kids, unfortunately, because I can just see those old patterns playing out again, with everyone involved oblivious and no-one doing anything to change. My mum replayed her pattern with us, my sister is replaying it with her kids and I don't have the spare energy needed to put the work in to be around people and not become affected by or involved in it. So I've taken three steps back and we're back at Christmas cards and weekly text messages now. I don't know why some people pull forward and some don't. It's disturbing to see. I'm sorry your Grandad was the way he was. It's an awful shadow to grow up under and it does do so much damage, I think a lot of it doesn't even become apparent until much later on in life?
I've no idea what cha dio is but it sounds delicious :) Lol
lighter:
We're staying with my recently widowed fruend this weekend. She's having foot surgery as I write this. She was in a car accident earlier this week and fugitives from the police ran a light.....fruend T-boned them and broke bones in her foot. Car totaled. Another car pulled up and dragged the criminals out if their wrecked vehicle then fled. Not sure what happened with that, but my friend us dragging herself up and down stairs in her 3 story townhous with sore ribs, very banged up. Lordy, this is why ranch style homes are so popular. Please send strength and healing our way.
My girls are at a convention....will post about that later.
Going to cook and clean till buddy is put back together and ready for pick up.
Lighter
Hopalong:
Aaaghh, what a rough experience (and horribly piling-on one) for your poor friend! Glad you can help her; good thoughts on the way.
I spent four hours today with a friend who had major ankle surgery and is navigating awkwardly on a kneeling scooter, when not sleeping off the opiods. I spent half the time helping her finish VoteForward.org letters, which made me feel a little better about helping (more than exhortations in the Post and Times). BTW, those are completely nonpartisan statements handwritten from one voter to another about the importance of voting to themselves and how every vote matters. I like it.
I also enjoyed bonding with her puddytats despite some allergy discomfort and smothery mask. Glad I did it. Had some quiet time to ponder and work on an email blast for the local grassroots v2vnetwork.org project I'm increasingly involved with.
One thing came up for me is that, even having had covid before, when I gently asked if she rapid-tested before her daily volunteer-helpers would come...she just said no, she's not worried about risks. Despite my great sympathy for what she's going through now, I thought it was a sad example of me-only thinking. Some basic communitarian/humanitarian instinct has been so badly eroded in recent years.
Your injured friend is lucky that you are showing her the opposite! Hope next generations catch on to how it changes life; to have if not a tribe, friends and neighbors who love you rather than just tolerate you.
hugs
Hops
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