Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
Strange weekend. Three ambulances showed up with sirens and lights at the Cowboy's home. I didn't hear any yelling, so assumed there was a health issue sans arguments. At a point, two vehicles left and the ambulance pulled way up to the house beyond my view. Cowgirl followed the ambulance out of our street in her car.
The next day Cowgirl called and was talking shop..... I mean.... she was talking about nothing till she paused to take another call. It was the neighbor on the other side of her giving an update on his lady wife, who was the one in the ambulance with BP issues. She's home and doing well after a night in hospital.
I had an odd interaction with Retired Nurse in her yard... she called me and the Pug over to visit her and the teacup Yorkie she sits for.
and I DO LOVE muffing up that little snooty dog. Retired Nurse is treating me like a child who's had a bad dream and needs to be talked into liking her Daddy again, regarding Yelly Guy neighbor...... and that feels as icky as it likely is to read.
Meantime, Cowgirl said a couple things that explained Retired Nurse's behaviors.....
Cowgirl really really really needs Retired Nurse to view Cowboy as irrationall, barking at the moon mad, and that isn't possible if anything he says has any merit at all, so..... Cowgirl threw me under the bus too.... I mean.... if what I say has any merit, then Cowboy's experience and actions have merit too. Clarity, at last.
It's a puzzle as to WHY Cowgirl cares what Retired Nurse thinks or is so sensitive about Cowboy's "jealousy" in Cowgirl's direction, which spans beyond Yelly Guy, to be sure. Not my circus, not my clowns. I feel a short conversation with Retired Nurse coming up to stop the healing before it begins, which is something Yelly Guy seems to be avoiding like the plague as he almost fell on his face when he stumbled into RN and my discussion in her back yard. He tripped, recovered and almost ran out of the yard while mumbling incoherently.... and I felt a little bad for him.
DD20 is buckled down and planning her course chioces in preparation for the University she's interested in. It's exciting to see her move with purpose and agency in her life. More relief.
DD22 has been discussing her college plans with DD20,.... more relief.
Right now DD20 is hanging out with her "buddy".... read that as her first bf who still has a crush on her. I think I said they reconnected on campus. They share interests in art, song writing, gaming and years of middle and highschool history, so it's easy and mostly light...... I know DD20 enjoys the time they spend together. They go into town and on hikes and to parks......more relief, still.
DD20 babysat for my Moss friend's 4yo grandchild Saturday night and the low light was cutting salami up for the child's snack. DD20 has food aversions and that's one of the biggies. DD gets the the done and it's been fun watching her learn how much work and time it takes to be present and attentive with small children. She had NO IDEA and I think I posted about the 2 or so hour long bedtime ritual on DD's first babysitting job when she expected to arrive AFTER the child's bedtime.
I'm trying to recover my password so I can sign in on my new phone, which is proving more difficult than I'd like.
Lighter
Meh:
--- Quote from: lighter on April 26, 2023, 10:09:55 AM ---What are your thoughts on entities and ghosts..... energy left behind?
I've had 2 experiences, both in the house I went to HS in....both in my bedroom, dropping down from the same corner in the room. Turned out, my sister was having her own experiences through the years and whatever that was, perhaps, mistook me for her on those 2 occassions.
My Step Father had an encounter with a UFO while picking peas in the country. Completely silent, very brightly lit..... he was a teen and the man wasn't one for telling fibs.
Other family members have experiencs with entities or ghosts going back generations in one side of the family.
My T says it's all about fear and pieces of people left behind, particularly around addiction and addicts. She said it's like a shadow. Shine the light of connection and love on it.... it dissapears. It's all fear based... once fear is gone, the shadows go.
What do you guys think?
--- End quote ---
No, I don't believe in ghosts, spirits, entities. I don't like to believe in anything except the most mundane obvious stuff that can be observed and explained in boring dull ways. Something about embellishments, fantasies, things like religions, not into it personally at this point in my life. Seeing war stuff showcases how horrifying humans are, so I don't like to add more spooky stuff into the mix of life.
There was a group online that I watched for awhile out of boredom. They talked about mostly bigfoot and aliens and cryptids. There is a whole community built up around it and I think that is the point of it really. There was a woman who claimed to be some clairvoyant and she seemed real scammy to me. Like the things she was saying were unverifiable. It's fascinating to see grown adults deeply dedicated to bigfoot lore though. If a person claims to have seen bigfoot then I guess that makes them special. If a person claims to be clairvoyant then I guess that makes them special. I think it's mostly a combination if scam and a need for attention that fuels some of that stuff.
That being said there was a condo I lived in and I was having a lot of very vivid dreams there. I was having sleep paralysis at the time and I had never heard of it so I thought there was some kind of haunting and I got used to it I guess. It was unpleasant though. I was probably somewhat anorexic at the time also as I passed out a couple times and went straight to dreaming which all somehow was very normal in a disfunctional family. My downstairs neighbor was an old woman and she had told me that her son was either lost or dead in the Vietnam war. She was unresolved in her grief that kind of awful thing where a person can never get over it. There were some weird happenings in that building in general. At the time I was young and took all of it collectively to mean there was some kind of haunting.
One thing in particular that I remember from when I lived there is at night I went into the kitchen and I think I was making a coffee. I believed at the time that I felt something like someone squeezing my hand briefly and then letting go. It's never happened since and I really haven't thought about it too much. I don't recall what I was doing before it happened. It seemed out of the blue though it's entirely possible there was some pre-conditioning to my mind like maybe I was reading something about supernatural something who knows. It was a long time ago.
I was a fantastical thinker. I liked fiction literature at the time. I liked vampire stories and such. At the time I really did figure it was probably a ghost.
At this point in my life I've settled into believing humans are not so important as to have an afterlife. Humans are just another species on the planet that dies and turns into worm food without some type of overarching meaning. Studying extinctions of species over long spans of time puts things into perspective for me.
Something about looking at those geologic time scales gets me into reality (for me). I mean at least in terms of after-life. The way I figure is every species would have ghosts. Snails would have ghosts. Every single rabbit that was ever eaten by a coyote would have a ghost. Starfish would have ghosts. I don't think humans are not-animals. So if humans have spirits so do cuttlefish.
The idea of ghosts I think persists because people have a profound emotional difficulty with letting go of the deceased I guess. People don't like to think about oblivion and non-existence.
https://geokansas.ku.edu/mass-extinctions
Anyhow.
If I was feeling a sense of unease in a place then I think I would chalk it up to some kind of physical insecurity. In the real sense not in a hypothetical sense. I think being fearful is a legitimate thing.
Spend some time brain storming on how to attempt to feel safer. But maybe I am projecting.
A "haunting" is a general uneasy feeling.
If it's bothering you now in a space that you have control over then make the space more cozy and try to distract yourself with other thoughts?
Hopalong:
I really enjoyed your thinking here, Mouse -- share a lot of it.
Particularly the perception about the real horrors humans do vs adding invented ones, and the feeling of specialness some derive from sighting things nobody else has. I guess any storyteller wants attention and I think that's a positive human trait. The oral tradition goes way way back.
Personally, I'm only interested in Casper, and if any other ghosts apply to live with me, they'll be kindly redirected to those more eager for that kind of roommate.
I have had interesting moments of precognition (pretty common). I wonder if that's a physically real happening that's beyond present human/scientific understanding, and more evident in some brains. Maybe like a burp from some brain layer or process we're so far unable to study, and maybe there also are other natural energies/intelligences that interact with our own? When I contemplate nature's immense complexity that doesn't seem weird. Given my brain is somewhat different in the first place, not too alarming. I'd rather have a new poem than an old ghost come out of it any time. Poems do sometimes feel as though they come from "elsewhere" and for me, that's a welcome mystery I'd rather accept than solve.
I also think sometimes about how extrasensory fearful things could maybe be flipped around and become inner perceptions of serendipity or blessing, to use a more trad term. Assimilate and/or avoid the horrors we can't prevent, and train the mind to count the blessings, more or less. Somewhere in between the two is empowerment to do what we can and release the rest.
hugs
Hops
lighter:
I think people should rely on their own experiences and those of people they trust when it comes to things like this.
I found a spiritual life AFTER I experienced things I wasn't expecting, out of the blue and nothing to do with people telling me what I SHOULD believe, feel or do regarding religious beliefs.
My experiences with things I can't explain are the basis for my belief in their possibility.
You're not right or wrong in your beliefs, Meh. Believing according to your experience makes perfect sense to me.
Lighter
lighter:
Writing is overwhelming, but if I chop it into parts.... important scenes, it's easier. Not sue to what end, but it's nice to have some enthusiasm for it.
Lighter
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