I think leaning in to Halloween decorations and chicken lettuce wraps is the way forward, Lighter
When I was young and railing at the generations before me for not sorting themselves out sooner, I didn't appreciate the different challenges that each generation faces, and what it is people have to do to achieve the basics. I grew up in a different world to my mother, my grandmother, my great grandmother. I didn't have to build a fire every day, shop for groceries daily, cook everything from scratch, make my own clothes, live without central heating, a fridge, wash in cold water at a bowl in the kitchen, no phone, no TV, walking or taking the bus rather than having access to a car, and so many other things. I've grown up in a world with free access to contraception, legal and safe termination options, the right to say no, access to my own bank account, mortgage, credit card. I've not had to accept burying my babies as a fact of life, or send my husband off to war, or raise my children alone without any government support when that war killed him. The more I've learnt about my family history, and history in general, the more I've realised the lack of emotion in the women in our family has come from having to keep dealing with so many things, from the daily tedium and lack of comfort and happiness, to the horror of war, grief and loss, with no option other than to keep going.
I think materially life got easier for many from the 70s onwards, but the generational trauma prior to that didn't magically vanish. We're all here because the way our parents dealt with trauma damaged us so badly it's affected every aspect of our lives. We've been able to deal with much of that using resources that previous generations didn't have. As a result, our kids have grown up with, at the very least, the knowledge of trauma and knowing there are ways to deal with and manage it. As well as being able to get their food delivered, go to college, always have a safe space to call home and, I think most tellingly, having a strong enough relationship with their parent that they can be critical and know they're still loved and won't be punished for it. Being angry about others mistakes is very normal but the question then is, what to do about it? The younger generation have problems to deal with, same as every generation before has done. My grandmother buried a baby and never told anyone. We found out a couple of years ago when researching family history. There's a birth record, a death record, a grave reference (that's no longer relevant as the graveyard has subsided so badly many of the graves have simply sunk deeper into the earth and can't be located individually). Our kids will never be in a situation where the only way to cope with losing a child will be to bury it and then never tell anyone. They also likely never had the freedom to roam all day like we did. Give and take, I guess xx
