I slept 10 hours last night. Up at 6am, with the Pug.....baby girl needs her Nummies.
As I move through tasks.... unloading dishwasher, preparing to load, etc. I nite tasks requiring attention, check in with myself about who's job they are, then decide to ask adult children to show me how they do each job. I'm determined to remain curious, nonjudgmental and open to how they perform tasks.
I'm also determined to not just DO tasks, bc it lowers my anxiety, etc.
Slowing down. Noticing my inner world, paying attention to any upset parts, before reacting, sets me up to enjoy what I'm doing in the moment. It also makes it easier to plan and problem solve, sans neeeeding anything to be different than it is.
I'm having a wonderful morning....simply seeing what's here.
Tasks done "wrong" mean I haven't taught well enough or at all. BF doesn't know there's a bin for lint.....yet. I fell some impatient energy creep in......I back burner all tasks with him, as he's in quarantine recovering from Covid and Flu B.
I tell my younger selves it's OK. There's plenty of time. We "have a plan." I feel they're letting go and calming down ....like they're releasing holds on my stomach and organs. Centered self energy comes forward, without thinking about it
Good.
It's becoming muscle memory.
I didn't practice so well at wedding and during cousin visit. Not sure, but it might be about feeling trapped, biting back boundaries ( for the sake of peace) and allowing physical touch I should (maybe) be catching with short quick pocks(spl?)/slaps with small movement only at wrist, sans emotional upset on my part. I remind myself, action is faster than reaction. I can't stop incoming unwanted touch, without distance. Keeping distance is more reasonable. That's a good plan. I remember my mother teaching us to use our elbows, as she did, with our Paternal GF.
I find I'm calmer/less reactive/angry now that chosen responses are in place, bc younger Lighters wanted to handle things more aggressively.
Reassuring, younger parts, they have every right to feel the way they do....
Reassuring them.....we have a plan ...we don't have to allow inappropriate behavior/words any longer. They're entitled to feel, complain and respond...
helps.
Including them in problem solving...helps.
Visiting with them at the tomato garden bonfire..... checking in with them....helps.
Now....back to teaching and moving through my day mindfully, and in joy. Yes.
Lighter
