Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Tuppp's 'On The Move' Thread :)
Hopalong:
Tupp, you are a planner EXTRAORDINAIRE!
I am awed by your logical, detailed approach to things.
Throw a little of that over the pond, would ya?
I'm glad you can go back in a week...it would be great
if the available rooms here turned out well for you two;
and even if they don't, it sounds like a new category of possibility
for you. If no toxic personality or cult rules the roost. I bet
if an organization has had long practice, most of the bugs
have been worked out.
Near where I live is one of the oldest ongoing communes in
the U.S. Famous for all the usual decadent stuff in the 60s, and
now two industries: hammock making and tofu making. Both are
excellent! I visited a couple times when I was young. They
had a massive pile of clothing in one building and that's where
you went to get something different to wear. The one thing that
drove me nuts, which has probably been solved decades later,
is that despite the idealism of all the shared work, nobody was
inspired to wash floors or surfaces much, so it was truly DIRTY.
But that was decades ago. I'd bet it's a very refined commune
system by now.
I look forward to hearing more about how this one strikes you.
Hold off on major fantasies about THAT commune and THAT town
though. I know it's hard to do...but we were talking about how the
fantasizing starts too soon and such.
I don't want you to be disappointed too keenly. But somehow I
think you've also refined your planning/expectations reflexes so
you're being realistic and steady on....
Big hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on November 18, 2019, 10:24:02 AM ---Tupp, you are a planner EXTRAORDINAIRE!
I am awed by your logical, detailed approach to things.
Throw a little of that over the pond, would ya?
I'm glad you can go back in a week...it would be great
if the available rooms here turned out well for you two;
and even if they don't, it sounds like a new category of possibility
for you. If no toxic personality or cult rules the roost. I bet
if an organization has had long practice, most of the bugs
have been worked out.
Near where I live is one of the oldest ongoing communes in
the U.S. Famous for all the usual decadent stuff in the 60s, and
now two industries: hammock making and tofu making. Both are
excellent! I visited a couple times when I was young. They
had a massive pile of clothing in one building and that's where
you went to get something different to wear. The one thing that
drove me nuts, which has probably been solved decades later,
is that despite the idealism of all the shared work, nobody was
inspired to wash floors or surfaces much, so it was truly DIRTY.
But that was decades ago. I'd bet it's a very refined commune
system by now.
I look forward to hearing more about how this one strikes you.
Hold off on major fantasies about THAT commune and THAT town
though. I know it's hard to do...but we were talking about how the
fantasizing starts too soon and such.
I don't want you to be disappointed too keenly. But somehow I
think you've also refined your planning/expectations reflexes so
you're being realistic and steady on....
Big hugs
Hops
--- End quote ---
Hops, you pair your socks up - that is way beyond my organisational skills :) Lol. Planning calms me, I can't cope with all the different threads in my mind. Much of it comes to nothing, but I feel better if I have a plan to work to, even if it's just for one afternoon.
In my new thinking - which seems to be coming quite easily at the moment - I won't be focusing on this particular place or this particular town. It's close enough that we can visit easily and we can probably spend some time at the commune kind of getting a feel for the place without expressing an interest. They run the community day every weekend so we can spend a bit of time there without doing anything 'formal'. And it might be enough to put me off after one visit! I think my cult leader/narc traits/man in charge sniffers are quite well honed and I reckon I'd spot something dodgy quite quickly. The town is lovely but I know from moving here that the novelty of new wears off quite quickly so if we just visit rather than moving there so be it. I am thinking more along the lines of just checking it all out and if it seems possible, checking a bit more. Now it feels like there is another option - apart from always being alone or having to put son in care - I feel much more relaxed and if it takes another year or two to find the right place, that's okay. I can manage that. We can enjoy visiting other places in the meantime.
Yep the dirt aspect is always an issue with sharing. They cook a community lunch each week so I'd guess they'd need to keep the kitchen clean to do that? But I'll find out more when we get over there next. There's also the 'who's turn is it' kind of hassle, and what sort of systems they've got set up for supplies that everyone uses - loo roll and tea bags can cause wars! Lol. But I'll check it all out as I go along. Hammock making and tofu making sounds great! I have made a draught excluder this afternoon so perhaps that will be my niche :) Lol xx
Hopalong:
Fantastic plan, Tupp!
You are taking a very mature view and sensible approach.
I cease and desist my hen clucking.... Squawwwk!
Hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on November 19, 2019, 02:14:52 AM ---Fantastic plan, Tupp!
You are taking a very mature view and sensible approach.
I cease and desist my hen clucking.... Squawwwk!
Hugs
Hops
--- End quote ---
Lol, I like your hen clucking, Hops, it shows you care and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that :) I was thinking about you guys when I was out earlier - I was kind of running through in my head how I'm getting through my to do list and what's going well and what else I've been thinking about with regard to communal living and how nice that little town was but there are other nice towns if this one doesn't work out, and and and, and I realised if I wasn't going to come on here to write it all down I'd literally not have anyone to share that with. There are bits and pieces I'd tell other people when I speak to them but you guys are my daily contact and the only ones I can pour it all out to, good, bad, indifferent, silly, serious, it doesn't matter, you're all just there and I genuinely don't have that anywhere else. So you cluck all you like, lol, I'm quite surprised at how sensible I'm being about it to be honest, but I think what I've learnt from this last move is that I've got to let go of the picture in my head of how it shall be and then my crushing disappointment when it's not like that, and I've got to move away from "there's only one option" because if this option doesn't work out, I will find another one. So I think something in my brain has finally clicked and calmed down and it is largely down to being able to chew all of this over with all of you :) So thank you :) xx
lighter:
Hi, Tupp:
Calmer is better.
I liked how you handled being late to the open house at the commune..... it just wasn't meant to happen that day. You switched up, and explored the town without anxiety.
Feeling we're exactly where we're supposed to be, in this moment, is a nice way to feel, and live, IME.
We have arrived.
We are home: )
Home is inside us, not in a town: )
Lighter
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