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Farm Doin's - 2020

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sKePTiKal:
You're welcome. I MIGHT have time to get the other album populated - but those pics are on the office laptop downstairs (need to do some work in there anyway - but have to put my bedroom stuff back FIRST and get it out of the main living area).

lighter:
Thank you, Amber!  That was so satisfying!  I love all those big, clean windows and skylights.  The concrete tub and metal railing appeal to my industrial chic affections. 

Is the concrete tub working out?  I've never seen one before.  Countertops, yes.  Tubs, no.

Having your home back will be such a treat!   Here comes cooler fall weather and B!

Lighter

sKePTiKal:
On the tub, there is still an issue with the tub filler. Because it's a deep soaking tub, there are no faucets/spigot inside the tub; instead the filler is floor mounted and intended to reach over the side... but the spout isn't long enough. Hol was thinking S could make a trough - like a downspout shield - that would direct the water but that still remains to be seen. Old sink hand pumps used to have that kind of shovel trough...

S has been spending every waking minute either in the garage or at the hut. He commandeered one of her fabric shelves for his books... and has been sitting around daydreaming in some la-la land state expecting her to keep him company and bring him "snacks" from the house. Avoiding me, is another way to explain that, methinks. She on the other hand keeps showing up here, saying she can't just relax there when there are still things that need to be finished and the rest of her stuff to go in. I understand that bit. And since he's not really interacting with her and talking about either future plans for planting or their relationship with her or helping her "do"... she's bored. She is still "doing" because she needs to organize and figure out where things are going to "live" in the house. And I think she is also thinking about what DOESN'T belong in the house....

my lips are sealed on that topic. But I can see some of her distress on her face. This phase of moving into the Hut was  supposed to be celebratory and joyous for her... but by co-opting the process to suit himself and upending all her plans... out of his perceived "need"... it's been ruined for her. Knowing her, it's not lost on her that he's quite comfy and can't be bothered to do what's needed to help get one step closer to HER finally being able to relax & enjoy it -- with someone also caring about her.

This is one reason I just jumped into getting the hardwood down in my bedroom. It was something I could tackle myself - clearing the room & putting stuff back - mostly by myself. And instead of putting everything back to surround myself with myself again... now I'm making room for B. And there will be some intentional "curating" of what comes back into the space and what goes elsewhere. I need to do some detective work to find 4 boxes of the stone I'm using on the wall where the fireplace was... everywhere I've looked it's not available. So I'm calling the manufacturer today about where to find it or maybe they can help me out. The color with the floor and original pine walls is PERFECT. It's all a soft blend, no dramatic contrasts. A soothing space in other words. B needs that too. With his quirky additions. Yesterday he was telling me about an alpaca hide he got through customs after a mission somewhere in S. America and has had all these years, safely tucked away. It'll be nice in here.

Ideally, the stone would've been done before the floor went in - glue & all that mess - but it didn't work out that way. I had to fully occupy and exhaust myself.

I'm checking out some rugs, too - but the floor is so pretty I don't want to cover it all up. I washed my curtains but they still need ironed... so I'll be busy - at an easy pace - all week. (Still will dig out the house pics tho.)

sKePTiKal:
Babbling... burbling... while I have a chance. I soon have to get the trash out since we were all pooped last night. Decorating is my "happy space" I think. Altho since it cooled off a little, I have cooking/baking on the brain too.

The college B's D is going to keeps moving the start date. We're looking at the middle of Sept now. He still has to do some more clean up on his house & get it sold; and he's hoping to get up here before then, for another visit. In the meantime, he's having some go-rounds again with the hospital & the lawyer is chomping at the bit now to "have at them" for what B's been through with them. In the last 4 years, every single "treatment" has created another serious, irremediable problem for him. And he still keeps going; as he says - they haven't killed him yet. But that's diametrically opposed to what "health CARE" is supposed to be about. Of course, they're held harmless for any serious side effects.... that's the chance you take. But with 4000 pages of medical history in their hands documenting all his allergies to drugs... it still hasn't stopped them from screwing him up even more. The recurrent meningitis is just the latest one and it seems to be becoming more frequent.

Poor guy even thought to ask me, if I'd still have him if they had to amputate a leg. It's all I can do some days, to keep him oriented to possible positive outcomes or potential solutions. He does the same for me, with the stresses involved in my situation.

Right now, I'm feeling like I'm in limbo. Hol wants to wait till the contractors are completely done to move everything in. And then she wants to do her "happy place" nesting thing too. I'm looking forward to having my house back to normal for a bit before B is here again. I am just DONE with the whole S thing and it's HER PROBLEM to resolve however she chooses to do it... as long as it's not impacting me. THEN, I will speak my piece plainly. And I'm at the point that I'm not diplomatic or tactful and I'm not going to go through years (again) of being her sounding board for the decisions she makes that are making her miserable. I'm not going to be an enabler for her to "put up with him", period.

As far as I'm concerned, he lost the right to have a voice in what goes on here when he put his "feelings" and "judgement of B" over mine. He is persona non grata. But I understand that Hol has always taken in stray animals and attempted to domesticate them. (Yeah, that's mean. But like I said, I truly am tired of trying to pretend I don't have negative feelings on this topic. That's just unhealthy.) And no way do I feel obligated to distort myself into a pretzel to accommodate unreasonable expectations or demands... like she does right now. She doesn't have to like that either. I'm staying inside my boundaries... and she knows it's all her to choose, decide, make it work or not... whether that's by herself or with participation from him.

Meanwhile, "happy places"..... are keeping me sane.

Hopalong:
Amber, gooooood for you.

You're creating more than one kind of space:

--emotional/mental space by detaching from Hol's labor pains to give birth to her maturity (a long labor that nobody else can do). Bravo. You're also detaching from her final judgment whenever it comes about S. She'll either get there or won't. Knowing all the ins and outs of his character and minor doings (like swiping a shelf) are a waste of your own mental space, imo, so the more you do this mental/emotional distancing, the better. For both you and Hol, ultimately.

--comforting, beautiful physical space to share with B. It sounds absolutely gorgeous and what a welcome for this weary man. And beautiful for you as well, as your artist side is creating the feeling, the calm and the gentleness you want to be able to rest in. Lovely. It won't be fake "spa"/"hotel suite" HGTV superficial. It sounds authentic, beautiful and warm. And for once this is for you (and B), about you, and as you envision.

hugs
Hops

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